


Finding Love Amidst Chaos

by NickieRiot91



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Hunting, Supernatural - Freeform, spnfanfic, supernaturalfanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-04 21:48:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 80,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12780210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NickieRiot91/pseuds/NickieRiot91
Summary: Cassidy was a outgoing girl who loved life and wanted to explore all it had to offer. She is extremely blunt and sarcastic which sometimes gets her in trouble. But what happens when she looses the love of her life and gets thrown into the world of hunting? She meets the Winchesters and is helping them to stop the apocalypse. While with them she finds the one thing she never expected.Smut warning..





	1. New Beginnings and New Friends

I sat at the bar thinking long and hard about all the things that had happened lately. You see six months ago I lost my husband and best friend. I was working the night shift at the gas station in town trying to find my dream job in publishing. I had a master's degree in English Language and Literature. Of course finding my dream job wasn't easy so I was stuck at this crappy job. It had been a long night and I had, had to deal with so many drunken idiots trying to get in my pants; all I wanted to do was go home and curl up with my husband. However when I got home something felt off, "Babe." I said going downstairs. I made it down the stairs and into the man cave and what I saw I almost couldn't believe. The room was completely trashed. The TV broke and my husband's beloved PS3 destroyed. "Jason Alexander!" I yelled trying to find him. Why I yelled his full name I'm still not a hundred percent sure maybe I thought it would catch his attention better if he was hurt. However he never answered me because he was too preoccupied with something else.

I went back up stairs and toward our bedroom to continue my search. When I got to the kitchen at the top of the stairs I noticed that the chair was turned over and blood was on the floor. How I didn't notice it when I got home is a mystery still unsolved. With trepidation and worry I followed the blood toward our bedroom hoping I found him okay and the blood was from whomever had broke in. I use the term broke in loosely because they clearly weren't wanted here, but the backdoor had been unlocked so nothing had been broke other than what was inside. Unfortunately when I found him he was in our bedroom crawling toward the shotgun with a man standing over him. I had my 45 on my side so I grabbed it and fired all six shots into the man. All it seemed to do was piss him off and that scared me even more than I already was. What was this guy on that he could take those shots like it was nothing? But when he turned around I realized it wasn't a man at all. No amount of drugs could make a man look like that so I had my answer. It was a vampire, the thing of nightmares.

I thought I was losing my mind due to the fear and crazy situation I was in. "Watch out." I heard someone behind me say. At first I didn't move, I was frozen from the shock of it all. When I finally moved the new man, who I later learned was named Bobby, fought the vampire and weakened it with dead man's blood before cutting its head off with a machete. "Thank you." I told him before going over to my husband. He was bleeding terribly and I didn't know what to do. "Please help my husband." I begged the man. There was blood everywhere, on my husband and the floor. "Babe I'm sorry that I'm leaving you." Jason began. "NO don't you talk like that this man is going to save you." I said looking him in the eyes the best I could. I was trying to reassure myself more than Jason however. "Sweetie I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do. He is either gonna die or turn into one of those blood sucking monsters you tried to kill." The man said. I looked at him then at my husband. I knew he was telling the truth no matter how much it hurt to admit. "So what do we do?" I asked. He looked at me and sighed. I could tell he knew how much it hurt to lose someone you love right then. "We get all the guns we can and then burn the place." He told me. I looked down at Jason crying my eyes out. I didn't like the idea at all. Jason was my husband and best friend and I had to kill him. That was even harder than the thought of burning my childhood home, but both had to be done or I would be hunted for murder, when none of it was my fault to begin with.

"I love you so much babe and I always will. I promise I will watch over you." Jason said. I knew he was telling the truth, but it didn't take the pain away. Jason was always there for me, protecting me and I was beginning to hate myself for failing him. "Baby," he said in a hushed voice. I looked down at him and saw the pain and love in his eyes. "Promise you will move on and find someone else. Also know that this isn't your fault and I know you are only doing what has to be done." Jason said with his final breath. I looked at Bobby and nodded letting him know I was as ready as I was ever going to be. We went around the house picking up all the shotguns, rifles and all the ammo. We then filled the inside of the house with gas and the surrounding area. As the house burned I turned to Bobby the only person I now had. "Cassidy...Cassidy Matthews." I told him. "Bobby Singer." He said in return. As the house burned down he told me how there were other evils out there not just the one that had killed my husband. So I decided going with Bobby and starting over was my best chance. The last six months I had stayed at Bobby's house learning about all the evils out there; from ghosts and demons straight down to vampires and werewolves. He also taught me all he knew about guns and hand to hand combat. Although I didn't need much teaching in the gun department as they had always been a hobby growing up. I had gone on plenty of easy hunts with Bobby learning the ropes. He had told me all about the boys as he called them and the things that were going on with them trying to stop the apocalypse.

That is why I am sitting in this beat up old bar sipping a beam and coke in the first place. Bobby thought I had enough experience to come and help the boys even though I thought otherwise. I was here to hunt as well as try and make sure no more seals got broke. After all no one and I mean no one other than the demons want Lucifer out and about right? I still couldn't believe how much my life had changed. I was an innocent bystander that started hunting because after finding out that there were things that go bump in the night I felt I had to, and now I was to try and keep the kids world from ending with two guys that didn't know how to do it themselves. What had I gotten myself into that night when I went with Bobby? "Hi you must be Cassidy." I heard behind me. When I turned around I had to look up. Dean was a lot taller than me considering I was only four foot eleven and he was also very well built. "Yeah I am." I told him looking into his gorgeous green eyes. I knew he was trying to figure me out and were I fit into all of this by the look he was giving me. I didn't have a problem with it; I would be doing the same if I was him. After all Bobby may have told me all about them but, he hadn't told them anything about me other than my name and what I looked like.

"Sorry you had to sit in the bar so long but Dean here had to make himself look pretty." I heard someone else say. I looked up Sam's tall well built frame into his beautiful hazel eyes. I was mesmerized by how amazing his eyes looked and how adorable his shaggy hair was. "Oh so even though he acts like the big tough guy he's actually a woman in disguise." I said in a joking tone. Sam laughed and I loved the sound of it. Dean gave me this evil look before saying, "HAHA we got a joker on our hands. Now let's get back to the hotel before my side busts from laughing so much." I knew Dean wasn't mad that he was only joking back. I just hoped things kept up this way because this was the happiest I had been in the past six months. Although soon I would realize things don't always work out the way you want them to.

"So what's going on?" I asked as we sat in the hotel room. After all if I was going to help stop the apocalypse from happening I needed to know the facts. It hadn't been a long drive to the hotel but, it was spent mostly listening to music and giving small bits of information about ourselves, so I had no idea what was going on what so ever. I hadn't minded the music it was some of my favorite nor telling them about me, but it didn't really help in the grand scheme of things. "Well so far a guy was found dead from eating razor blades that were in the candy his wife had just bought. Happy Halloween to that guy right?" Dean said. While it was a strange way for someone to die it wasn't the most gruesome I had seen someone die so it didn't faze me. "Okay so now we go and question the wife see if she had something to do with it or knows who might, however it will have to wait till morning." I said. I looked around the room and realized I was going to either have to get my own room, sleep on the floor or share a bed. "You can take my bed." Sam said. I couldn't believe Sam was willing to give up his bed for me, he had just met me and I wasn't used to people being so kind. It was sweet and I really appreciated it but, I couldn't bring myself to do that to him. "How bout I go take a shower and we will discuss this further when I return." I told him.

Dean raised an eyebrow surprised I wasn't jumping at the aspect of sleeping in the bed while Sam chuckled before nodding. I grabbed my bag of bathroom supplies and the pajamas I planned on wearing and hurried to the bathroom. While I was waiting for the water to warm up I could hear the boys talking. "Dude she is smoking hot but something seems off." I heard Dean say. "Like what that even though she is a girl and a small one at that she hunts?" Sam replied. "No Sam we've seen female hunters before. It's well what made her start hunting, how does she know Bobby? Stuff like that, I mean she clearly knows about us so why didn't Bobby tell us about her huh man?" He said. It was quit for a while and right before I got into the shower I heard Sam. "Well when she gets out if she feels up to it, why don't you ask her yourself since it seems to be bothering you so bad." Sam told Dean. I loved the feeling of the hot water on my tight muscles. I knew Dean would question me and I was ready to answer. I however didn't know how well I would handle telling them about losing Jason. I never even talked to Bobby about it and he had been there that night. So how was I supposed to talk to these two about it? Especially since I had just meet them and was bad for keeping my emotions hidden. I relaxed and washed off as I finished my thoughts. Grabbing my towel I dried off before throwing on my boxers and spaghetti strap. It was all I had to sleep in I hadn't really thought to get anything else before staying with the guys. "Oh well if it bothers them they'll have to get over it." I told myself as I walked out of the bathroom. When I did, I found Sam doing research on his laptop and Dean watching sports drinking a beer.

I sat down next to Sam and asked if he found anything yet. To which he told me he hadn't. Dean then turned the TV off and finally looked at me. When he did his eyes popped out of his head I laughed causing Sam to look at Dean and laugh as well. Dean shook his head trying to remove thoughts of me naked I'm sure and I guess he decided now was the best time to start asking questions. "How did you get into hunting?" he asked. Sam looked at me waiting for an answer while Dean looked like if I didn't answer soon he would bust. I then proceeded to tell them about my husband and what had happened that night. It wasn't easy, but the kind understanding look in their eyes made it easier for me to open up. I probably could have given the short version and left it at that, but something about them made me want to open up for the first time in a long time. By the time I got through I was a crying mess. I had gone numb the night it happened holding everything in and not letting out the pain and anger. However telling the boys had let it all come out which was probably for the best in the long run, but I didn't know how to stop the crying or the sobs that made my body shake.

Both Dean and Sam tried to comfort me in some way. Dean's phone then decided to ring. "She's crying right now about what happened the night you two meet but other than that she is okay." Dean answered whatever Bobby had asked. "No we haven't found anything yet, but when we do we will call you." Dean said before hanging up. I looked up at Sam as I finally stopped crying. He and Dean had both waited patiently on me to pull it together. "Sorry I just hadn't talked to anyone and everything just came out. Thank you for comforting me and just letting me get it all out." I told them. They both smiled at me letting me know it was okay. Dean then looked at Sam and me and said, "We need to get some shut eye so we can start trying to figure out what's going on. And I'm pretty sure Cassidy would like some beauty sleep." Dean said. I flipped him the bird as Sam looked at me. "Look Sam we are both adults why don't we just sleep in the same bed. Then tomorrow I can sleep with Dean that way you can get a normal night's rest." I told him. Sam and Dean both nodded their okay. I crawled into bed and Sam cuddled up behind me. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep. I hadn't slept well lately and it had finally caught up to me.


	2. Getting Justice

The next morning I woke up and stretched. Getting everything off my chest the night before had really helped me to sleep. Although it might also have been the fact that it was the first night I had someone to hold me through the night in a long time. It wasn't that I had feelings for Sam I just missed the feeling of being close to someone. I hadn't known him long enough to develop feelings for him. Maybe a small crush because he was so gorgeous but then again so is Dean. Oh well, all I knew was that I couldn't have feelings for either one of them because I hadn't known them long enough. I realized Sam was gone when I rolled over and that Dean was still asleep. I shrugged my shoulders and went to my bag. Looking through it I found my pants suit. I had to look the part of FBI agent after all, we had to go and question the wife about the death of her husband. I went to the bathroom and got dressed.

As I did I thought about how much I hated this part. Only because I knew the pain that even though we got justice for the deceased by killing whatever monster killed them, the wives almost never knew that justice had been served. Of course other family members didn't either I just connected better with the pain the wives felt. I hoped I would get over the pain and be able to move on like Jason asked, but I felt it would never happen. And maybe it hadn't happened because I had refused to let go of it for so long. With a sigh I opened the bathroom door to see Sam was back and sitting at the table with Dean. I walked over and sat down. Sam handed me a cup of coffee with creamer packets and sugar. "I didn't know how you liked it so I figured I'd let you fix it." Sam said. I looked at him and smiled thinking about how thoughtful he was. I put one creamer in it and 8 packs of sugar. Dean and Sam both gave me a surprised look. "What?" I said as I took a drink. It was true I liked a little coffee with my sugar as my dad liked to say when he was still alive. That however is a story for a different time. They just shook their heads as we all finished breakfast. I was so happy Sam had got the raspberry filled donuts with powdered sugar on top they were my favorite.

After we all finished we climbed into Dean's 67' Impala, honestly I think I had more feelings for it at the moment than the boys, and left. The house we pulled up to was very nice. It seemed new and made me miss having a home of my own "Let's get this over with." I said getting out of the car. Sam made it up the steps first with his gigantic legs followed by Dean and then me. This was the boys first time seeing me in action with a witness and I felt I had to impress them. They had been doing this way longer than I had and I didn't want them to think Bobby sending me to them was a mistake. I knocked on the door and a middle aged woman answered the door. "Hi I'm Agent Willis and with me are Agents Young and Van Halen. We would like to ask you some questions about what happened to your husband." I said. She looked at our badges then opened the door the rest of the way and let us in. Sam was the first to start questioning the woman. "The police said they found four razor blades in him. How can anyone do that to someone?" She said. "Ma'am is there anyone who has reason to want to hurt your husband?" I asked. She looked at me slightly shook up that I was asking her that and shook her head. "Not an anger lover mad at him for not leaving you?" I hated to ask. She looked at me and said, "No, God no, my husband was a good man I don't understand why someone would do that him." I nodded believing her. Dean was standing behind her and showed us the hex bag he had found.

We told her if she could think of anything to call us. We then headed back to the hotel room Dean eating loads of candy. "Really Dean you are going to eat that after what happened to Luke?" Sam asked shaking his head. Dean shrugged and said, "The hex bag done its job and it's Halloween so, yes I am Sammy." When we got back to the hotel some little boy dressed as an astronaut asked for candy. Dean told him we didn't have any which was a complete lie and I'm pretty sure the kid knew, and then we went into the hotel. Sam sat down at his computer with the hex bag while I went and changed into more comfortable clothing. When I walked out Sam said, "Whoever the witch is, they are working some strong magic." I looked at him waiting for him to go on. Instead it was Dean who told me, "This is gold thread, Sammy says it is supposed to be extinct for 200 years but apparently it's not." I looked a little surprised at that and tried to figure out what was going on. Why would someone go through so much trouble to kill a father and husband? We then got a call about another death and went to find out what was going on. When we got to the car it had been vandalized. Dean was furious to find his precious car had been egged. "ASTRONAUT!" he yelled knowing it was the kid he refused to give candy to. Guess my assumption that he knew Dean was lying was correct. When we arrived at the scene of the crime, we found a young girl had drowned in boiling water.

Dean of course was checking out all the girls in their skimpy Halloween outfits while Sam and I tried to find more information. The young girl's friend said," I have no idea how it happened I had bobbed for apples right before her and the water was just fine." While Sam seemed to believe her I felt something was off. We had found another hex bag on the scene. "Do you happen to know Luke Wallace by any chance?" I asked. "I have no idea who that is." she replied. I gave her a once over trying to figure her out, but was at a loss for now. So we went back to the hotel to see what we could find. Sam soon discovered that it wasn't a mad witch doing the work, but she was getting sacrifices to let a demon called Samhain lose from Hell. On Halloween the veil between Earth and Hell was thinner and it would be the perfect time for the ritual Dean was watching the Wallace residence while we did the research and discovered Tracy the young girl from the night before had lied. I knew I had felt something off about her. She did indeed know Luke Wallace fore she was their babysitter. Sam and I then did our best to find anything and everything on the young girl that we could. The only thing we found was she had gotten into a fight with her teacher and that she had been suspended. "I guess it's a trip to the high school then." I said.

We make it to the school and find the teacher Tracy had the altercation with no problem. Looking around his art room I could see all sorts of freaky masks and I wasn't the only one bothered by them. I mean why does someone need or have that many creepy masks? It was wrong on so many levels. It seemed that Dean was having problems with them as well. I wondered if they were reminding him of his time in Hell. Although now was not the time to be asking him such questions so I turned to the teacher whom insisted we call him Don. "Okay Don what can you tell us about what happened with Tracy?" I asked. He looked at me with a calculating look and said, "She was drawing horrible pictures of violence and this weird symbol and when I told her, her work was inappropriate she attacked me. Tracy tried to claw my eyes out." He then showed us pictures of the symbol that Tracy had drawn. It was Samhain's symbol which meant we had our witch. Now all we had to do was find her and kill her. I had no problem with taking her out, witches were creepy and nasty. Unfortunately we couldn't find Tracy so we returned to the hotel to try and find a way to stop her once we did find her.

Instead when we got there the angels Castiel and Uriel were also there. I hadn't met them and neither had Sam apparently because we both pulled our guns on them. "What do you guys want?" I asked at the same time Sam asked "Who are you?" Dean then told us who they were and Sam apologized profusely amazed at meeting the angels. They then informed us Tracy was onto us by showing us a hex bag she had hid in our room. "You all need to leave this town, we plan to kill everyone here to prevent the rising of Samhain. For with it another seal breaks and Lilith is one step closer to letting Lucifer free." Uriel informed us. Dean told the angels that they were not going to kill anyone in the town, that we would find the witch before she raised Samhain. They then told us we had better find her before they left without another word. Sam was disappointed in how the angels were. He couldn't believe these were the angels and God he had prayed to for so long. "Hey Sammy don't lose faith behind their cause. After all Babe Ruth was a dick but baseball is still a beautiful game." Dean said. I kind of chuckled because he was right.

Sam was looking at the contents of the hex bag when he realized the baby bones in the bag were too charred to have been done by a regular fire. So we returned to the school and looked in the art room. Don had the perfect equipment to char the bones so we decided to check his desk. When we did I about vomited finding all the baby bones he had hidden in there. It brought me to tears thinking about how horrible someone had to be to do that. We all climb into the car and rush to Don's realizing that we had the wrong person pegged as the witch the whole time. Don was about to make Tracy the last sacrifice when we got there. Sam pulled out his gun and shot Don before he had a chance to finish the ritual. I untie Tracy with a little bit of help from Dean while Sam checked to make sure Don was dead. Tracy turned on us using her magic to knock us down and keep us there. She then tells us, "Don was my brother it was my idea to make myself the final sacrifice however this will work out just fine." Sam rubs blood on his face and Dean's, I get his plan and rub it on mine. We then play dead as Tracy raises Samhain. He posses Don's body and starts kissing Tracy only to kill her. Well that clearly didn't work out the way she planned.

We track the demon down to a mausoleum where a bunch of teens were having a party. It was a good thing I had brought my sawed off with rock salt because Samhain had locked them in and raised a bunch of ghosts and zombies. Dean shot the lock letting the teens out. We then did our best to kill all of them while Sam took off after the demon even though we screamed at him not to go alone. "Dean do you got this while I go after Sam?" I asked shooting another zombie. He nodded his head and I took off after Sam as fast as I could. And let me tell you I maybe short but when there is danger I can move. When I got there Sam was doing his best trying to fight Samhain. However it was getting him no where this demon was strong and the knife Sam had got from Ruby was not going to do him any good especially when it was half way across the room. So I started fighting him hoping to give Sam sometime to recover. He flung me across the room making me hit a wall causing me to see stars for a moment. He then turned back to Sam. He tried to use his white light similar to Lilith's on Sam with no such luck.

Sam then used his power to exorcise the demon right in front of Dean and me. We return to the hotel with silence in the car. The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. Sam and I stayed at the hotel while Dean was elsewhere. "Look Sam give him time to cool down in will be okay." I told him. He looked at me and asked, "How do you know plus why aren't you running away from what I did?" I shook my head and chuckled. Sam really just didn't get things sometimes. "Well I know because even though Dean is mad at you for using powers you promised you wouldn't use and said you weren't he still loves you. After all Sam you are the only family he has left. And me, well Sam I've lost everything I had and even though I haven't been with you guys but for just a week I'm starting to see the old me shine through and I'm not gonna lose everything again when I'm just starting to get it back." I answered. He then gave me a hug before we went to bed. The next morning I woke up to Dean's arm over my stomach. I was definitely enjoying having people to cuddle with again, and it didn't hurt that they were super attractive. He woke up and went to get breakfast while Sam and I packed. Uriel showed up while I was in the shower. I could hear him talking to Sam. "You better quit with your powers because as soon as you aren't useful anymore I will smite you." he said before leaving. He didn't know I had heard but I planned to do everything in my power to prevent him from hurting Sam.


	3. Evil Wishing Well

Sam and I sat having small talk while waiting on Dean to come back. I pretended as though I hadn't heard a thing that Uriel had said and Sam acted as though it hadn't been said. Dean came back in and we soon left. I didn't know what our next case would bring or if we would be able to stop Lilith, but I knew things were gonna get bad before they got better. And honestly I wasn't looking forward to things getting worse. On our way to Concrete, WA Sam decided to ask Dean if he remembered anything from Hell. I knew it was a bad idea and just put my headphones in letting them talk. I still heard everything that was said, but at least this way I could pretend I didn't. "No Sam I don't remember anything and I don't really want to so will you drop it." Dean said. Sam let out a sigh upset about Dean's answer. All he was trying to do was help Dean and he knew his brother was lying.

We pulled into our hotel parking lot and checked in this time we had a room with two beds and a fold out couch so I didn't have to share a bed which was kind of disappointing. "So were do we start?" I asked sitting on the couch slash my bed. "Well it seems that a young woman named Candance had a ghostly encounter, but the ghost apologized to her. And in our field of work that isn't something that normally happens, so I'm going to go question her as to what happened." replied Sam. I just nodded my head okay with it. Sam left to go to some Chinese restaurant called Lucky Chin's. Dean and I sat there and waited for Sam to call us with any information.

"So I know you don't want to talk about what you remember." I said. "And before you say you don't remember anything I know you do. I'm not gonna push you, but when you are ready I'm here for you." I told Dean. He nodded knowing I was being honest with him. He needed to talk just like I had needed to talk but I knew pushing wasn't the answer. Bobby had never pushed me to talk, but when I was finally ready to the boys were there and it had helped. We then sat there and talked about past hunts and things getting to know each other. Sam soon called us to let us know we should meet him at the girl's home. "So what's the deal?" I asked sliding into the seat beside Sam. "You aren't gonna believe this, but the ghost actually helped her up apologizing saying don't tell my mom." Sam told us.

I was seriously confused by that, ghost normally aren't in the business of apologizing. We search the place and find no EMF. While walking around we find a man who tries to tell us he had an encounter with Bigfoot. I personally think the guy has lost what little brain he had to begin with. I mean sure we come across some crazy stuff but Bigfoot? But Dean decided to humor the guy so we go into the woods and start looking around. "Please tell me those aren't what I think they are." I say looking at huge footprints on the ground. Of course they are what I think they are. We follow them to a liquor store that has been broken into and robbed. "Either we have a huge man who likes alcohol and porn since the store is missing all of it." I said. "Or it's a Bigfoot. You know, and he's some kind of alcoholo-porno addict. Kind of like a deep-woods Duchovny. "Dean says. I look at him like he's crazy and shake my head. We keep looking around the building and see a little girl ride by on her bike. A porn magazine called Busty Asian Beauties falls out of her basket. "She's starting a little early." Dean and I say at the same time.

We watch her sit a box down on the back steps of the store. Inside the box are porn magazines and alcohol and a note that says sorry. "Okay let's follow her home and find something out." Dean suggests. I smile and start to tail the girl. Dean shakes his head at how gung ho I am. I knock on the door and wait. "Hi who are you guys?" the little girl asked. "Are your parents home?" Sam asked in return. The little girl tells us her name is Audrey Elmer and that her parents aren't home. "Well then sweetie can you tell us what happened at the store?" I asked. "My teddy bear did it. I think he's sick." Audrey said. So I looked at Sam. Okay what are we suppose to do here? Sam had an idea though. "We are teddy bear doctors and we will check him out for you." he said. His crazy idea seemed to work because the little girl let us in the house. We then climb the stairs and in Audrey's bedroom find a human sized teddy bear that talks. He is sitting in front of the TV crying his eyes out over a news report. "Where did he come from Audrey?" I asked as the boys checked out the teddy bear. "I wished for him at Lucky Chin's." She told me. The boys come out and we all leave to go to the restaurant.

"Wow I'm pretty sure out of all the crazy things we've came across this has been the weirdest." I tell Sam and Dean. Sam looks back at me with a smile and says, "Yeah well that's what happens when you're a hunter." I wave him off as we pull into Lucky Chin's parking lot. Dean acting all macho walks over to the wishing well and wishes for a sandwich. His wish then comes true. I shake my head a bit weird-ed out, there is a reason people don't always get what they want. Dean walks up to the owner of the place and says, "Health department. You, my friend, have a rat infestation." Sam and I then get everyone out of the place and drain the well. "So Sam aren't you a little bit tempted to wish life was reset and we never had to go through this crap?" Dean asked. I looked over at Sam waiting for him to answer. "No, but I would wish for Lilith's head on platter if I made a wish." he replied. I thought about what I would wish for. "I would wish to be able to keep my promise to my husband that I would be able to move on and find love again." I told them. They both looked at me very surprised. I suppose they expected me to wish for my husband to be alive. At the bottom of the well is an ancient coin. "Look at this." I say pointing it out. Dean tries to remove it which doesn't work causing Sam and me to laugh. He then gets some tools and still can't get it out. Sam realizing how frustrated Dean is finds a piece of paper and sits in on the ancient coin. With a pencil he brings all it details onto the paper. Dean and I are on research duty while Sam goes to scold the teen who wished for invisibility.

Dean and I sat in the hotel room trying to figure out anything we could on the ancient coin. "You know I can't believe we found a wishing well." I told Dean causing him to laugh. It was an amazing thing because people always made wishes never thinking they would come true, but with this well they did. I kept looking on Sam's computer so far finding nothing. "So Dean I know how you and Sam got into hunting, but I don't know much else." I said. I figured making conversation would make the time go by a little bit quicker plus I wanted to get to know the boys better. "Well to be honest there isn't much else to know. Sam went to college which pissed dad and me off. I kept hunting until dad went missing I tracked down Sam and tried to convince him to come with me to find him." Dean said. I could understand as to why they were mad,but only to an extent. "Look Dean I get why you guys were mad you felt he had betrayed you. But the truth of the matter is he wanted to try to have a normal life which is what every hunter wants. I haven't been hunting very long and I already want my normal life back. So it was never gonna happen for Sam or any hunter, but Sam had the right to try. And Sam did come with you didn't he?" I asked. Dean nodded his head.

I knew Sam had gone with him of course after losing his girlfriend Jessica to the yellow eyed demon that had killed his mom. I felt sorry for Sam I could relate to pain of losing someone you love and losing your parents. At least I got to know my mom before losing her Sam didn't have that chance. I wish I could go back in time and never have to lose anyone. Bobby and the boys were my only family I had left. I was brought out of my thoughts by a loud grumble. Looking at Dean I saw him grab his stomach his face contorted in pain. "I found something." Dean said as he ran to the bathroom. I kind of chuckled almost feeling sorry for him. The only reason I didn't was because he should have known better than to make the wish. Sam then walks through the door hearing Dean get sick. He looks at me and we share a laugh at Dean's pain. "Sammy the wishes go bad. It's a cursed coin." Dean said going back in the bathroom.

While he is in the bathroom Sam and I look at what Dean had found. "Well Sam I see what Dean means." I say reading what Dean had found. The wishes, it turns out, turn bad because the coin is cursed. It depicts Tiamat, the Babylonian dragon deity of primordial chaos, and it has been known to wipe entire towns off the map with the trouble it causes. The only way to stop it is to find the first wisher, the one person capable of removing the coin and turning off the well. "This is going to be fun." Sam and I say. After all how are we supposed to know who the first wisher is. "So Sam want to tell me a little bout yourself while we try to figure out who the first wisher is?" I asked. He looks up at me a little surprised. We had been together for about two weeks and I was just now trying to figure out more about them. "Well as you know I hunt. Dean and I grew up doing this. Thanks to the yellow eyed demon. I've almost given up on love." he said. I looked at him and said, "I know it hurts Sam to lose people and hunting doesn't make it easy to have a relationship but you don't give up on love." That was one thing you never give up on. No matter how much you lose and how much you hurt you never give up hope or give up on love. "Thanks that helps a lot after losing mom and Jess then having to kill Madison it's nice to know that someone who has lost loved ones hasn't given up. It gives me hope." Sam says with a tearful smile.

That's when I noticed it. Wesley Mondale announces his surprise engagement to Hope Lynn Casey. Which doesn't make since because he is a little nerd and she is this really beautiful girl and I've seen how those conversations normally go. I promise you it ends with the nerd in tears almost every time "That's our guy." I tell Sam. Dean then wakes up from his nap looking like he had just had a nightmare. Sam once again tries to get Dean to talk about what he remembers with no luck. It's sweet how much Sam cares but he is pushing Dean too much. Dean has to come to terms with it on his own. So we decided to drive over to Wesley's house and ask him some questions. Hope is the one to answer the door. "Hi Hope we came here to talk to you guys about the flower arrangements for the wedding." I say when she opens the door. It was the first thing to pop into my head. She lets us in no questions asked. I turn and look at the boys like ha told you it would work. Sam, Dean and I walk in looking around. We see a coin collection, but funnily enough it is missing a coin. "At least we have the right guy." I tell the boys. Wes walks in and he sees us. "These are the florist." Hope tells him before going to get us something to drink. Wesley looks at us kind of funny before asking, "Aren't you guys from the health department?" Sam smiles and so do Dean and I. "Yep. And we're florist on the side." I shake my head when Dean says, "Plus FBI. And on Thursdays we are teddy bear doctors." I had to try so hard not to laugh. Sometimes the boys just knew how to get to me.

"So Wes want to tell us about this coin that is missing?" I ask picking up the collection. "My grandfather found it in Africa. He was a soldier in World War II." Wes replies. I was a little surprised most of the time it takes forever to get people to tell us the truth. "Did he tell you anything about it?" Sam asked. I looked at him then back to Wes not expecting any real answer. "He told me it was ancient and that it made wishes come true but never to use it." he replied. "Well Wes this is where we tell you he was right the thing is cursed. We have a suicidal teddy bear running around as well as me eating a bad sandwich." Dean tells him. We try and try to convince him to go retrieve the coin and return the town to normal. He tells us no. "Why man, why can't you?" I ask. "Look I love Hope and I always have. But she never even noticed me. All I've ever wanted was for her to love me in return. Now I have her and I'm not letting her go." he replied. I could understand where he was coming from, but it didn't make it right. I sort of felt sorry for the guy. "Wes I understand that you love hope but it is better to have someone love you for you. To have them want to be with you; to have real love. Not love that is brought on because of a wish. Just go remove the coin. Or I'll kill you." I told him. His eyes got huge and he agreed to go remove the coin. Yes I know my little speech escalated quickly, but I knew it was the only way to get him to listen.


	4. Emotional Wounds are Hard to Heal

Since Wes had agreed to remove the coin Sam and I figured we would go with him after all it was a pretty simple job. Just follow the guy watch him remove the coin. Then take the coin and melt it down. How hard could this be? I mean he had agreed to do it, even if it was under duress. "I can't believe how easy this case turned out to be." I told Sam as we walked down the stairs to the Impala. He looked back at me and said, "I know what ya mean if only all cases worked out this way." I had to agree with him on that. It was nice to have a case were the worst thing that happened was Dean getting sick to his stomach. How often does that happen in a hunter's life? To be honest, it never happens because we are always putting our lives on the line, people are dying and worst of all one of us either dies or gets hurt. I was happy with the way this case had gone. "So Wes I know I threatened you but I really did mean what I said about the love thing." I told him as we rode to Lucky Chin's. He looked at me sitting in the backseat of the car. Sam was driving because Dean had seen a young boy and decided to chase after him and talk. I have no idea why, but apparently the kid had made a wish. "Do you know what its like to love someone and not have them be with you?" Wes asked.

I knew he meant not paying attention to you or knowing who you are but I still knew the feeling. "In a way I do because I was so in love with someone and he was my best friend. We never did have the courage to tell each other and once we finally did and got married, I was only married to him for three years before he passed away. I still love him and I don't have him with me." I replied honestly. Sam gave me a sad smile knowing how I felt. Sam and I really connected on that. Dean and I did as well because of him losing his dad, but it wasn't quite the same. I was glad I had those two. They were really helping me through everything. We soon pulled up in front of the restaurant. "Well this is it Wes." I told him as we went to walk in. I then hear thunder and look up. A storm cloud is over Sam. Everything seems to go in slow motion. I watch as a lightening bolt comes down. I let out an ear piercing scream that I couldn't hear. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. I went running toward Sam, but I didn't think I was going anywhere or at least didn't feel like I was getting there fast enough. I got to him just as he fell to the ground. His weight made me drop with him on top of me, but I didn't care. I sat up and held his head in my lap. I tried to find a pulse. Anything that would show me he was still alive. I couldn't find any, but I refused to give up. I wasn't going to lose someone else that I cared about. I just couldn't let it happen. Like I said before, the boys were my only family along with Bobby and I was not about to lose them. "Come on Sammy...wake up I can't lose you too. And what about your brother and Bobby? They will be devastated." I said crying. I was rocking back and forth holding Sam when all of a sudden he woke up.

I looked down at him and smiled. However I didn't know what to think. How had Sam come back to life? "SAMMY you're okay." I said hugging him even tighter. "You called me Sammy." Sam said standing up looking at me confused. I didn't care that I had called him by the nickname he only allowed his brother to use. I was just happy he was back. Wes then walked outside to where we were. Handing me the coin he said, "Here do whatever you have to with it. I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused. Hope doesn't even remember who I am. But I couldn't let someone die because of me." I felt sorry for Wes. Here he was in love with a girl who was probably never gonna love him without his wish. But like I had told him; it's better to have real love than fake love. "Let's go meet Dean and get rid of this thing." I told Sam climbing back into the Impala. "You looked so happy back there when you realized I was alive. What was that about?" Sam asked as we drove toward the pier we were going to meet Dean at. I didn't really know how to answer his question. Well I knew why I had, but I didn't know how to word it so that Sam would understand. "Ummm well look, I don't really know how to explain." I said. I then sighed and said," I didn't want to lose someone I care about again. I've come to care a lot about you and Dean. And when I thought you were dead it tore me up inside. I thought I had failed you and Dean; failed as a hunter and I had promised myself I wouldn't fail again like I had failed Jason." Sam looked over at me and grabbed my hand. "You are a great hunter and a great friend. Dean and I are glad to have you along with us. And you could never fail us." he reassured me.

Parking the Impala Sam pointed out that he already saw Dean. I started walking toward him while Sam turned off the car and began following me. It had been a long hard day and all I wanted to do was sleep. I couldn't believe that a job that seemed so simple turned out to be so hard and traumatizing. "Hey Dean how's it going?" Sam asked. I looked at Dean and cocked my head. He looked like he had been in a fight. "I got beat up by some kid who wished for super strength then when the wishes were reversed I pretended to be afraid of him so the bullies wouldn't start beating his ass again." Dean said. I nodded understanding that Dean had done a nice thing for a little kid. We melted the coin down and tossed it in the lake then started walking back toward the car. I was just trying to forget the whole day had ever happened when Dean looked kind of somberly over at his brother and said, "The things that I saw. There aren't words. There is no forgetting. There's no making it better. Because it is right here... forever. You wouldn't understand. And I could never make you understand. So I am sorry." as he pointed to his head.

Things had been pretty tense between the boys after Dean's confession. I felt sorry for him and everything he had went through. I knew he didn't want to talk about it and I respected that but at the same time I wanted him to talk about it. I wanted him to let those emotions out so he could begin to heal. We soon climbed back into the Impala. I sat there quiet. I wasn't sure what to say to Dean to try and help him through this. I also wasn't sure what to say to Sam. I knew Sam was hurt that Dean had lied to him and I understood that. All Sam wanted was to help Dean through his pain and the memories. Hell, it was all I wanted to do. But I also understood why Dean didn't say anything to either of us. This was his pain, his hurt, and his memories. He felt he had to deal with it on his own and didn't want to speak of it. Maybe for him the pain was still too near for him to speak about it; he barley slept and he was drinking himself into oblivion.

I could tell the memories were eating at him and I hated seeing him go through that alone. I hated that Sam wanted to help his brother and couldn't. These poor boys had been through more than anyone should every have to go through in there entire lives. I had lost my husband and I knew how much that hurt, but these two I could only imagine the pain they felt. They had lost their mother and father. Sam had gone through the same pain as I had losing the one he loved. And Dean going through what he was hurt both of them. After all Dean was gone for four months, that had to have taken its toll on Sam. And I could only...No I couldn't even begin to imagine what Dean had gone through while he was in the pit and truthfully I didn't want to. It would seem all of us were broken in our own way. Even though I had accepted that my husband was gone I still missed him and I probably always would.

Even if I moved on I would always love him. Growing tired of how eerie the silence was I decided to talk to the boys. "So what now? I'm hungry and as far as I'm concerned the world can wait for a day. Cause we need a break." I said looking at Sam and then Dean. Dean looked at me with his infamous smirk and replied, "I agree we've been bustin' our asses tryin' to save the world and what do we get? Nadda so I say we take it upon our selves to kick back and relax." Sam smiled and nodded his agreement. Pulling out his phone he looked for the closest motel. "We're about twenty minutes outside of Newport. We can stop there. Maybe hustle some money up." Sam said after finding us a place to stay. Dean turned up the radio. I chuckled as Rainbow in the Dark played. It was one of my favorite Dio songs and for just a little while the evil of the world didn't seem to be as close. "There pull into that hotel." Sam said. Dean listened and whipped the car into the closest parking space.

Looking through the door to the lobby I noticed it was a male working the counter. I decided now would be a good time to show Dean he wasn't the only one with charm. "I'm gonna go book us a room and see if I can get us a discount." I told the boys as I started toward the doors. It only took a few seconds and I was through the door. I had on tight blue jeans and a white spaghetti strap that showed off my curves. I sauntered up the counter a smile plastered on my face. "Hi sweetie, um my brothers and I were looking to book a room." I said twirling my hair. The guy behind the counter was about five foot five, extremely scrawny, and wore glasses. "Sure um we have a room with two beds and a couch with a pull out. It's supposed to be ninety-five a night, but I can give a discount and get it down to seventy-five." The geek replied. I smiled real big at him and said,"Thank you, that means a lot to me. However can I repay you?" It was then I noticed the geek's name was Ron. I new that he was surprised a female was talking to him and saying such things. It showed in his eyes. "Well I could think of a few ways." Ron said seeing how far his luck would run. "Well I'll have to sneak away from my brothers, but I'll see what I can do." I said giggling as he finished booking the room for us and giving me the key.

I gave him a small wave as I walked back out the door. "I got us twenty dollars knocked off." I told the boys as I showed them our room. Dean and Sam shook their heads at me chuckling. "And how did you manage that?" Dean asked. I smirked and replied;" Ahh young grasshopper the master can not reveal all her secrets." We then all busted out laughing. The night was going great so far. All of us were starting to relax and have a good time. I went first to take a shower and change clothes. I hurried as fast as I could. I was ready to go out and drink and have fun like I hadn't in a long time. I quickly finished my shower and began to get dressed. I threw on a pair of skin hugging white washed jeans that had jewels in the design of hearts on the back pockets that drew attention to my well rounded ass. Then I put on a black spaghetti strap similar to the white one I wore earlier. Over top I wore a flannel t-shirt. It was a dark blue with white and black stripes then a gold stripe went underneath the breast drawing any male's attention there. Normal I didn't wear makeup but on occasion I wore dark eye-shadow with black eyeliner which is what I wore tonight. And then finally I slipped on my cowgirl boots and hat before walking out the bathroom.

As soon as I stepped out the door the boys whistled. "Damn woman you clean up nice. Dean might not go on the prowl tonight he might just try to convince you to crawl into his bed." Sam said laughing. "Hey now you ain't far off Sammy if she wasn't our friend and I didn't know her I probably would try to convince her to warm my bed." Dean replied. I chuckled because even though Sam was joking I knew Dean was being serious. I knew the boys too well to only warm their bed for the night. If I was to sleep with either of them it would lead to more than a one night stand. The boys hurried up and finished getting ready. All of us climbed into the Impala eager for a night out on the town. "So boys ready to see this hot little number hustle some pool?" I asked as we pulled into the parking lot of a bar called The Midnight Riders. "We'll see who does better you or Sam." Dean replied. I knew Sam was good, but I decided tonight was gonna be both our nights. That way we could hustle up a little more cash than usual.


	5. Fun Ruined

I had a huge grin on my face as we walked into the bar. It was a redneck tavern, not that I minded. I fit in well considering I grew up in the country and taverns. I knew the crowd and knew how easy it would be to hustle pool here. I looked around and noticed that there were two pool tables. That meant I got to play the innocent girl while Sam played the drunken idiot. "Well Sam lets say you and I get started." I said looking up at him. He looked down at me and smiled. "May the better man win." he replied. So Sam intended to make this a competition. "You might want to watch your brother Dean cause he has no idea what he is getting into." I told Dean smirking. We all split up then. I walked up to the bar and as much as I wanted a beam and coke I ordered a fuzzy navel. I wasn't big on girl drinks but I knew to pull off what I was doing I would need it. Guys saw girls with fruity drinks as innocents who didn't know the hustle game. At least that was what my experience had taught me. I scanned the room searching for Sam and Dean. Sam was playing pool with some guy pretending to be drunk and losing. Dean was talking to some chick that I presumed he planned to bang. After all that normally was Dean's motive with women.

"Hi there handsome." I said walking up to a rather large guy at the pool table. He stood about six foot so he wasn't as tall as Sam but he was taller than Dean by a little. He had shaggy blond hair that came to his shoulders and a matching beard. He weighed about 240 and had a small beer gut. "Hi there sweet thang. What's a pretty little thing like you doing in a bar like this?" He asked. I mentally rolled my eyes at the fact he was already trying to get in my pants. "Well I'm on a trip to visit some family and decided to take a break for the night and this just so happened to be the only bar I could find and how lucky am I that a handsome feller like you happened to be here." I replied while batting my eye lashes. It was so easy for me to play the sweet innocent girl when really I was far from it. Sometimes I didn't know who I was but I knew innocent wasn't it. I had seen too much evil and killed too much evil to be considered innocent. "Well little lady I'm Joe." the man told me. "Nice to meet you Joe I'm Becca." I replied. Looking up at him I walked toward the pool table and picked up the stick. "Would you like me to teach ya then maybe we can shoot a few games?" Joe asked.

It was hilarious that he thought a girl couldn't play pool but that just made things easier. "Sounds like fun." I told him. He then proceeded to rack the balls and break making a few go in. I pretended to take notes and be amazed at how good he was. Joe came up behind me and showed me how to shoot. I acted as though I enjoyed his touch even though I would much rather be held by one of the boys. They didn't disgust me and even though Dean was a man whore I knew he was clean and took showers. Joe smelled like the bar and it almost made me puke. We played a few games me acting as though it was luck when I won. "Hey Joe how bout we make this a little more interesting?" I asked him. Joe cocked his head to the side and replied, "What did you have in mind?" Now was the time for me to rack up the money. Because despite his appearance and smell Joe was loaded and carried the money on him, I knew because he had been bragging about it during our last few games. "How bout if I win you give me two thousand dollars to make my trip easier and if you win I go home with you and make this the best night of your life." I told him. Being the man that he was he took the bait. It only took me two shots to win and man was Joe furious. He handed me the money and then stormed off. I didn't feel sorry for the guy because even if he had won there was no way I would have went home with him.

I had kept an eye on Sam and Dean the whole time and they had done the same with me. I had no doubt that if things would have gone bad one or both of them would have backed me up. Seeing as I had done what I sat out to do I went an ordered the drink I wanted. "Hey bro." I said walking up to Dean. "I think Sam may need to be pulled away from his game." I continued. Dean told the girl by and we walked toward Sam. Sam had just lost a game when Dean and I made it over to him. Sam was purposely letting the guy beat him. "Look man my brother's drunk just lay off okay." Dean said. I nodded my head agreeing with Dean. "I'm all right." Sam replied. "If he wants to play let him play." The other man told Dean and I. "How bout 500."Sam said sitting the money on the pool table. His opponent didn't realize that this would be the end and he would lose. Sam made one shot sinking all the balls winning the game. I was slightly agitated realizing he had won quicker than me. However it passed when I remembered I had won the competition between Sam and I. "Keep the money." Sam said staring off into the bar. This caught me and Dean completely off guard. I had no idea why Sam would do such a thing. Then I saw what or should I say who he was looking at and my blood boiled. I did not like the person I saw Sam walking toward; nor was their presence welcome. Dean frowned making me know I was not alone with my feelings.

Ruby was the one person, scratch that demon I hated the most. Sure she had "been there" for Sam after Dean had died. That didn't mean I trusted her. She was a demon and demons didn't do things for others out of the goodness of their hearts. I wanted to send her back to hell as soon as I heard about her. Dean and Sam both had told me stories about how she had saved them, but also how she wanted Sam to use his powers to kill Lilith. Personally I wanted to know why she wanted another demon dead so bad. Was she using Sam to climb the demon ladder or was it something else? And because of that I really didn't trust her or like her. Sam trusted her so much it would probably make others sick, but it worried Dean and I. However it also made me angry and I wasn't sure why. "What do you want Ruby?" Dean asked once we made it over to her and Sam. "For some reason the demons want this girl Anna." Ruby replied. "Right and we're suppose to believe that you, a demon slut, have no idea why." I said.

Sam gave me a look that said I shouldn't have been so rude. Dean however smiled at me. I didn't like the fact I made Sam angry. It really did bother me knowing I had upset him but what I said was true. Ruby was a demon and there was no way she didn't know why the demons wanted Anna. "Look I don't care what you think about me. You're just a pathetic little girl but I figured I would help Sam out." Ruby said. The anger that pulsed through me was unlike any I had every felt before. Within seconds I had her pinned to the bar and hissed into her ear, "If Sam didn't trust you, I would have already killed you. All you are is demon filth and I know you are up to something helping Sam out. It isn't out of the kindness of your heart and when I find out what it is this pathetic little girl is going to kill you." I then let her go and walked away form the group. I was still highly pissed off when I made it outside. Lately my emotions had been a little wacky and I didn't know why, but still who did she think she was calling me pathetic? I had been through so much. I had lost my family long ago to what I was told was a car crash, but now I doubted that was true. I had lost my husband and best friend. Now I was friends with two guys I hoped to help but didn't know if I could. And yet I held my head high and continued on every time and helped everyone I could. No I wasn't pathetic in anyway. Strong is what I was and I would prove that to her. Not that I needed to prove myself, but I wanted to show her she was wrong and kill her like I said I would. I was still slightly put off when the boys came outside and found me. I looked at them and smiled. Then I walked over to the Impala and climbed in the backseat. I pretended to be asleep so that I didn't have to talk to the boys. "All I'm sayin' is I want to know why you became best friends with a demon." I heard Dean say. I had actually fallen asleep and missed the first part of their conversation.

"I told you Dean she saved my life." Sam replied. That maybe true didn't mean I trusted her. Demons don't save people because they are nice. They always have an ulterior motive. "You're going to have to give me more than that Sam." Dean replied. "Okay I'll tell you my story if you tell me yours. How was hell Dean?" Sam asked. My eyes widened in surprise. I couldn't believe Sam would say something so cruel to his own brother. But after a few moments thought I could understand Sam's side. Not that I believed it to be right. Sure Dean was trying to push Sam for details about his new "bestie" when he wouldn't tell us anything about his time in the pit. However being friends with demon scum that was most likely using you for their own gain was different than reliving the torture and pain that you went through for months. Sam was wrong to say what he had to Dean but Dean was wrong to push Sam to talk about something he wasn't ready to talk about it.

I shook my head as I looked between the two and said, "Look Dean I don't like her anymore than you do. And Sam you did step over the line, but you all need to stop pushing each other and try to be a little more understanding. You're brothers and the world could end if Lilith succeeds the last thing we need is all of us fighting. So just chill okay?" Dean looked over at Sam for a few moments since he was driving and couldn't really do much more. "She's right Sammy I'm sorry." Dean told Sam. Sam smiled over at his big brother nodding. "So am I. I shouldn't have said what I did." Now that that was settled I decided that since we had a nice long drive ahead of us that I should get some more sleep. I lay back down on my makeshift pillow which was my school hoodie. My blanket was Sam's jacket. It didn't take me long to drift off to sleep with the soothing sounds of the car and the stereo playing AC/DC.


	6. Anna and The Demon

We soon arrived in what I considered to be a pretty nice little town. What Ruby had told us was true Anna had escaped from a mental hospital. However we had no idea why she was in there in the first place. Why would demons want a crazy girl? That's what Sam, Dean and I planned on finding out. First we booked a hotel at a little run down place so we could change. "Who wants to go first?" I asked. "I will," Dean replied. It always took Dean forever to get ready so I sat down to talk to Sam. "So I know you want Dean to talk about his time in hell, but Sam you have to quit pushing him so hard. And before you say well he's pushing me about Ruby truly think about it. Ruby didn't torture you; she didn't rip you apart and make you go through so much pain you'd rather die again." I told Sam. He looked at me like I had grown another head. He probably wanted to know how I knew any of what Dean went through.

"How could you know any of that?" Sam asked. It wasn't going to be easy to explain but I knew I had to. My emotions had been wacky for a few months now and it took me a while to figure out why. "Truth is and it scares the crap out of me Sam, but I can feel others emotions. So when Dean is having nightmares about his time in the pit I feel all the pain he remembers." I explained. I had always been good at empathy growing up and for some reason, that I didn't know, I was now literally an empath. At first it was scary now I'm just trying to get used to it. Sam looked like he felt sorry for me and I gave a small smile. He reached over and grabbed my hand, which made me happy. "When did this start happening?" Sam asked as he rubbed small circles on my palm. "Same day Dean came back." I replied. I knew just as Sam knew it had to deal with the angels. The bathroom door soon slammed open causing Sam and I to jump apart.

I grabbed my clothes and ran for the shower. As I turned the water on and waited for it to adjust I could hear the boys talking. "What was that all about?" Dean asked. "I don't know what you're talking about." Sam replied. That was all I heard before jumping in the shower. What had that been about? I felt so happy and warm all over. Sam's hand on mind made me feel fuzzes in the pit of my stomach. I hadn't felt that in a long time. I could also feel the emotions coming from Sam and they were returned. Sam got in the shower after I had. "So I know Sammy was lying to me, but about what I don't know care to elaborate for me?" Dean asked me as I sat at the computer. "Honestly Dean I don't know what it was about. Once I figure it out I'll let you know." I replied. Once we were all ready we got in the Impala and headed for the hospital.

"SO you mean to tell me that a young girl knocked a guy out and escaped?" I asked the nurse we were questioning. "Well he claims he doesn't remember anything so we assume she waited behind the door and hit him with something before leaving." The shrink replied. We knew the truth however the guy had been possessed. "So why was Anna in here in the first place?" Dean asked. "To be honest she used to be a perfectly normal girl then she started saying that Lilith was breaking seals so Lucifer could be free and begin Armageddon." The shrink answered. We left taking Anna's drawings with us. "Seems to me Anna is on the receiving end of what the angels know. I wonder how that's working?" I said as we drove to Anna's house. Maybe if she knew what the angels knew she could tell me why I went from being an empathetic person to being an actual empath. Some answers would definitely be nice. We knocked on the door and waited for an answer. Something felt off to me but I couldn't figure out what. "Maybe they aren't home." Sam said. Dean looked at him like really and said," Both cars are here." So us being us, we opened the door and went in to investigate. Things were thrown all over the place and didn't look good. In the living we found her parents dead. "Seems the demons beat us here." Dean said. He then walked over to the mantle and looked at a picture of Anna and her family. "Let me see those pictures Sam." He said. As it turns out Anna was drawing her church. "Let's see if I was a scared girl who was very christianly with demons on my tail where would I feel safe?" I asked. We then decided to take a little trip and see if sweet little Anna was at the church. All of us pulled our guns out as we walked up the stairs to the attic of the church. I noticed movement and pointed it out to the boys. "Anna I'm Sam and this is my brother Dean and our friend Cassidy. We aren't going to hurt you," Sam said as he put his gun away.

"Dean...not THE Dean Winchester?" Anna questioned as we walked from behind the wall she was hiding behind. "Yes I am." He replied slightly confused. "The angels talk about you and you guys as well." Anna told Dean. Anna was a very pretty girl with long dark red hair. She was pale and had a very feminine build. Dean was of course admiring her like he does any pretty girl. "You can talk to angels?" Sam asked. "Oh no I just hear them; they don't like you very much." Anna replied. I glared at her cause I knew it hurt Sam when she said that. "When did that start?" I asked. "The same day Dean was saved. It was the first words I heard." Anna told me. I didn't like it one bit. This Anna chick seemed fishy to me. How does someone just hear what angels are talking about? Meeting her just gave me more questions than answers. Clearly Ruby was right about the demons wanting this girl. I didn't like that the scrum was right, but I could understand why the demons wanted Anna. I however was still iffy about her. Something felt off about her and the whole situation. Not only that, but why did she hear the angels. Plus she hurt Sam's feelings and the only ones allowed to do that is us.

I stood there and looked at Anna for a few minutes. A loud bang behind us made me break eye contact with her. When I turned around I saw the demon slut Ruby. She looked at me and I could tell she had been running. That scared me slightly; what does a demon run from? "You guys have to take the girl and get out of here now. A big time demon is on his way." Ruby told us. "What did you lead him here?" Dean accused her. Of course I normally would have thought the same thing, but I could see the fear in her eyes. Funny something actually scares the cunt. Well that doesn't mean she didn't lead him here, just means he is stronger and she is afraid. "No he followed you from her house." She replied. That actually did make sense I could feel some pretty odd emotions at the house, but I didn't think anything of it.

Guess I'm going to have to start paying more attention to emotions that aren't my own. God this was so hard to get used to. "Oh God her face. She's one of them she's a demon." Anna said. Okay this girl gets stranger and stranger as the minutes go by. Not only can she hear angels, but also she can see demons. Sam of course told Anna that Ruby was a good demon and she was there to help. Right because good demons exist; note the sarcasm here. "He's here." Ruby said. I sighed; thinking yay this is just what I wanted to do today. Sam hid Anna in the closet just in the nick of time. The big bad demon broke down the door and the fight began. I was getting my butt handed to me. Ruby had run off with Anna sometime during the fight. Sam stabbed the demon with Ruby's knife, which is meant to kill demons, and it did nothing. That is really scary.

I started backing toward the window when not only did the knife not work, but neither did Sam's power. What scared me the most though was him telling Dean, "Don't you recognize me? Oh, I forgot, I'm wearing a pediatrician." What the crap was that all about? Where did Dean....wait is he the one that tortured Dean in hell? Well I think it is time to get out of here. Apparently the boys thought the same because we go straight through a window. Next thing I know I wake up in a motel room. My head is pounding so are my ribs. I see Sam sowing himself up and that Dean has a dislocated shoulder. "I'll fix your shoulder in a second." Sam told Dean. Well this sucks not only can I feel my own pain but I can feel the boys as well. And let me tell you if you think feeling your own broke bones is bad trying feeling someone else's injuries as well I promise it isn't fun. Sam soon finishes his stitches and starts on Dean's shoulder. "On three." Sam tells Dean. Only thing is I know he is gonna count to one and do it so that it won't hurt as bad.

"One..."Sam starts out. I then hear a sickening pop as Dean's shoulder pops back into place. "That was gross." I tell the boys letting them know I'm up. "How's the head?" Sam asked. I look over at him and smile. "Just peachy it's my ribs that are killing me. Please tell me you got the license plate number of that Mack truck." I reply. Sure I was in pain, but whining about it wasn't going to make it any better. Sam laughed as he walked over to me. "Your ribs are broke so you're pretty much out of commission for a few weeks. As far as your head you should be fine you mostly hit me with that part." Sam replied. Great out of commission, that was not what I wanted to hear, much for keeping the boys alive in this whole mess. "I hope Anna is okay." Dean said. I hadn't even thought of her till now. Of course in my defense I was feeling a lot of emotions and trying to sort through them. I wonder if she is okay.

"I'm sure she's fine with Ruby, Dean." Sam said. "Not unless her real plan is to take her to the demon after we were dead." Dean commented. Which I fully agree with Dean, the whole situation with finding Anna was odd. "Ruby isn't gonna hurt her we just need to sit here and wait for her to get a hold of us." Sam replied. Dean and I looked at each other. I could feel Sam's trust for Ruby as well as his desire for us to understand and trust him more. I trust Sam with my life it's that demon whore I don't trust. Dean's feelings are a little more conflicted than mine. He wants to trust his brother, but after finding out he was using his powers he doesn't know if he can nor does he trust Ruby. "You are going to have to give me more than that Sam. I mean what happened when I was in the pit that suddenly made you have a demon as a best friend?" Dean asked.


	7. Beyond Pissed and A Threat

Sam looked at us and I knew he was conflicted. He wanted to tell us why he trusted Ruby. At the same time he looked at me and I could feel the fear rolling off of him. I cocked my head to the side was he afraid Dean and I would be mad or was it something else entirely? I really wanted to help Sam through this, but I didn't know how to reassure him that he could tell us. "When you died Dean I did anything I could to try and get you back." Sam started.

"Come on where are you?" a drunken Sam yelled. "Looking for me?" a demon said behind him. Sam turned around and looked at the demon. He was extremely pissed off and didn't want to play the demon's games. "Give me Dean I'll do whatever it takes." Sam replied. The demon however just chuckled clearly he wasn't going to give Sam what he wanted. "No can do Dean's right where we want him." the demon said. Sam got even more pissed and slammed Ruby's knife into his hand. The demon even though he was in pain still laughed at Sam. "No demon is going to make a deal with you." he said right before Sam killed him.

"What does that got to do with Ruby saving you?" I asked. I was very confused so far it just seemed like Sam was scared and hurt and wanted his brother back. I completely understood where he was coming from; I was the same way when I first lost Jason. Sam gave me a sad smile and said, "I'm getting to that part just give me a minute." I wasn't really sure I wanted to hear the rest of this story what so ever, but if it helped me to understand why Sam used his powers and why he trusted that slut Ruby then I would gladly listen.

Sam drove the Impala down the road toward the abandoned home he was staying in pissed at everything. He had tried so hard to save Dean and it had got him no where. What was he suppose to do without his big brother? He felt completely lost. He saw a woman standing on the side of the road and picked her up. "Hiya Sam." she said. Sam looked at her confused. "Ruby?" Sam asked. "Yeah and man am I hungry I think I deserve some french fries after how much work it took me to climb back out of hell. Cause when Lilith gets mad she gets creative." Ruby answered. "Whose body are you in Ruby?" Sam asked. "She's a dental hygienist." she replied. Sam demanded that she let her go and take her home. Ruby agreed and got out of the car. Sitting in the home Sam was drinking himself away. After all what did he have to live for anymore? He had lost his mom as a baby, his girlfriend, and his dad after just getting him back and now his brother. Why not drink himself to death, it was better than living the life he was living right now. A knock sounded on the door. Sam grabbed Dean's old sawed off shotgun and put it behind the door before answering it. A girl was standing there. "Here." she said handing papers to Sam. The papers stated that the person who the body belonged to no longer occupied the body. "See I can do the green thing and recycle it's all me in here."

I was really beginning to feel sorry for Sam here he was all upset hating life. Then that stupid bitch Ruby wouldn't leave him alone. The one who promised she could save Dean in the first place. Couldn't she have just left him alone to mourn? Was it really that hard for her to understand what he was going through? Sure she was a demon, but they felt emotions too. I guess it was a good thing they couldn't feel my emotions because at this point I wanted to kill Ruby not understand how she had saved Sam, but I figured I'd let him continue.

Ruby had convinced Sam to use his powers. She had told him it was the only way to get rid of Lilith. Of course Sam wanted revenge, who wouldn't in his shoes? So he started using them and practicing. A demon was tied to a chair under a devil's trap. Sam had a screwed up look on his face trying to concentrate. The demon was being pulled out but then he went right back in. "Come on Sam concentrate." Ruby told him so he tried again. This time he was able to pull the demon out but at the cost of a horrible nose bleed. He wasn't strong enough to do it without hurting himself yet. Ruby got rid of the body as Sam walked back into the building. They started talking about how well it was going and how he would get better the more he practiced. Ruby then kissed Sam and at first he started kissing back. Then he pushed her away and sat down on the couch. "Come on Sam it's all me in here nobody else and I know you want this." Ruby told Sam as she started putting his hands up her shirt. Sam tried to fight it then gave in and put her on his lap kissing her hard and taking her shirt off.

"Whoa that is way too much information." Dean said. "Sorry you asked for detail so." Sam replied. I sat there hiding the anger and the tears. I wasn't really sure what to think of the situation. So far Ruby had manipulated him by using his grief. She had also got him to sleep with her. I was beyond livid. The only thought running through my mind was how to kill her next time I saw her. I was starting to like Sam and what he was telling me made me see red. Ruby didn't know what was coming. First chance I got she was dead, not going back to hell, dead. Dean's feelings on the matter weren't helping either he was also pissed that Ruby was using his brother and didn't see how any of this constituted saving Sam. His anger was feeding mine and I willingly let it happen when I knew I shouldn't of, not when Sam needed my understanding. I stormed into the bathroom slamming the door. I could feel the emotions in the other room. Sam was confused as to why I was mad. Dean on the other hand understood. I sat down on the toilet and tried to calm myself down. I knew it was the best thing to do so that I could be there for Sam and Dean if he needed it after the story was finished. After about ten minutes I calmed down enough to go listen to the rest of the story.

"Listen Sam the signs are showing Lilith is in town." Ruby told him. Sam had already figured this out for himself and planned on going after her. "You aren't strong enough Sam don't do this." Ruby tried to stop him. "Look I'm doing this with or without you Ruby you can't stop me." Sam replied. "This isn't what Dean would want." Ruby tried to reason. Like she could really know what Dean would want. Of course he wouldn't want Sam dead, but he would want revenge just as bad. Sam left any way. He went in the house where Lilith was supposed to be only to get ambushed. Sam was trying his hardest, but there was too many. Ruby showed up and killed one of the other demons giving Sam a chance to save the little girl and get out of there. Sam then came back and using his powers finished off the demon Ruby was having trouble with.

From what I'm gathering she manipulated Sam, used him and then finally saved his life. I still really hate Ruby, but I can see as to why Sam trusts her. He was in a vulnerable place in his life and Ruby was there for him. At least she kept him from killing himself and getting killed. I could feel the understanding coming from Dean. He wasn't going to trust her, but he was thankful for Ruby saving Sam's life. I on the other hand still wanted to kill her and would when the opportunity presented itself.

After Sam had told his story on how that bitch Ruby had "saved him" I was so angry at how he couldn't see that she was using him. Why on Earth would a demon want someone to have the power to send them back to hell without having to say an exorcism? It didn't make any sense to me what so ever, but I buried my anger because right now it would do me no good what so ever. Sam needed me to understand where he was coming from and I was doing my best to do that for him. If Dean could understand then so would I. I think I was having more trouble understanding because I was seeing the things they weren't like her manipulation. Plus I could feel her emotions anytime I was near her and they weren't happy ones about Sam being alive. They felt more like accomplishment and satisfaction. What did she feel so smug about anyway? "Sam I understand what you're saying and how she saved you, but I can't, no scratch that I won't promise you I will be nice. Because if I promise you that and break it I would hate myself and I'm tired of hating myself" I told him.

Before Sam could reply Dean said something to make me laugh, "Man if I had a body like that I could never hate myself" I shook my head and gave him a hug grateful that he had made me forget my anger if only for a moment. "Now Dean did I say I hated my body? Of course not, how could anyone hate on a body like this" I replied. It was Dean and Sam's turn to laugh after that. "I got to say I definitely don't hate it. Of course sometimes it bothers me like when we sleep in the same bed, but hate it no never." Dean said truthfully. And I knew he was being truthful because when I would wake up right before him I could feel his arousal rolling off him in waves. Of course I wasn't going to say anything about it and make it awkward. Although now that I think about it, this is Dean we are talking about. Knowing him if I mentioned that I could feel his arousal he probably would make some snide comment about how I would feel it better in me, thinking I was referring to his cock. Okay just get those thoughts out of your head Cassidy before you embarrass yourself.

"Hey Earth to Cassidy? Whatcha thinking bout over there?" Sam asked. I hadn't realized it but I had completely zoned out after Dean's last comment. Luckily for me a knock sounded at the door. "House keeping," The person said. I looked at the boys a little funny. I was picking up the same feelings I got when I was around Ruby. Also another thing we had just checked in, the room was already clean and we had towels so house keeping shouldn't even be knocking on our door. "Not now." Dean answered. "Sir, I've got clean towels." The person replied. Now I knew something was up because we already had clean towels. Dean then opened the door and said, "Couldn't you leave them at the door." The big black lady ignored what he said and walked into our room like she owned the place. I could feel that he wasn't happy about it in the least little bit and neither was I for that matter. When she walked straight up to Sam and said "I'm at this address." I knew exactly who it was and I went to run straight at her fist raised. Of course Dean and Sam both grabbed me and prevented me from hitting that smug bitch Ruby.

"Cassidy calm down why are you going after the lady?" Sam asked. I looked at him like are you really asking me that right now? "That isn't a lady Sam that's Ruby and I told you I wasn't promising to be nice." I replied. I could then feel his disappointment and I realized that I shouldn't have gone after her at that moment. Of course I didn't regret it, but it was not the time or place we needed to get to Anna to protect her. I nodded letting the boys know it was okay to let me go and sat down on the bed. While I sat there trying to keep myself from killing Ruby because it would kill the poor lady she was in, she told the boys where her and Anna where and to go through the bathroom window. I looked up at that confused why did we need to go through the bathroom window? She then explained that there were demons in the hallway and parking lot. Oh that's why we couldn't just go through the front door.

The boys and I walked through the woods and came upon a cabin. I could feel Ruby and all her nasty smugness. What I wouldn't give to hit that bitch just once, but for now I had to keep my cool. I could also feel Anna's emotions and I still didn't quite understand them. She felt safe which is a good thing, but there was another kind of feeling coming from her that I didn't understand. Maybe it had something to do with her being able to hear the angels. I wasn't sure all I knew was the more I was near her, the more confused I became on what exactly was going on with her. We walked in and Sam asked her how she was. "I'm okay, Ruby isn't like other demons, she saved my life." Anna answered. I wanted to snort at that but I held it in. Not like other demons my ass, she's just better at playing the long game than most from what I can see.

Dean replied with, "Yeah I hear she does that." He then looked at Ruby and said "I guess I uh you know" "What" came Ruby's reply. Bitch you don't have to be so rude he's trying to apologize to your slutty demon ass. Of course for Sam's sake I kept those thoughts to myself, but I made sure to give her looks that could kill if that sort of thing was possible. "I guess I owe you for Sam. I just want to you know." Dean once again tried. "Don't strain yourself." Ruby replied. I snarled at that one not able to hold back again. "Hey I know she was a little rude to Dean, but please don't do anything." Sam whispered is my ear. I nodded my head letting him know I heard. I didn't hear what Dean had said after because I was paying attention to Sam, but I knew it was important.

Anna watched our exchange not saying a word. That is until it was done with and then she asked if it was safe to make a phone call. How were we suppose to tell the poor girl her parents were dead? I knew the pain of hearing those words and I didn't look forward to saying them to her. Sam was the one who told her the bad news and I felt how much it pained him to do so. I walked over and placed my hand on his shoulder offering comfort. However someone needed to comfort Anna as well. Her pain and heartache were practical screaming at me. "Anna I'm so sorry this happened. I know what it's like to loose your parents. I promise though it does get better." I told her. Yes she made me feel weird cause of that one emotion or whatever it was coming off her, but that didn't mean I couldn't say something nice. "They're coming." Anna said which freaked me the hell out not only could she hear the angels, see demon faces, but now she could sense them coming. What was going on with this girl and what did it have to do with the Winchesters and me for that matter?

Then the door flew open, but it wasn't demons it was the angels. I didn't know if I should be happy about that or not. Dean was hoping they were here to help, but something told me that wasn't the case. However I couldn't help but chuckle when Uriel called Ruby a stain. Sam shot me a pointed look and I just shrugged my shoulders. "We're here for Anna." Castiel said. I could hear the threat in his tone. "Are you going to help her?" Sam wanted to know. "She has to die" was Castiel's reply. "Okay yeah the girls is weird and she can hear you guys but kill her, really isn't that a bit extreme?" I asked.


	8. Acceptance

I honestly didn't know what to think or feel about Castiel's admission. I could feel his and Uriel's emotions and they were overwhelming. The anger, the betrayal, and the determination and one thing I couldn't place my finger on. The last feeling reminded me of Anna so much it was a little freaky. Was that feeling or whatever it was how she heard the angels? It was like they were connected in some way, but I couldn't figure it out. Sam and Dean were pissed that the angels could even suggest such a thing and I couldn't blame them, Anna was a sweet albeit strange girl; death seemed way to extreme for the situation or maybe I had missed something. I could feel her fear in the back room and honestly I wasn't surprised in the least little bit. "Look I know she's been wiretapping you guys but killing her. You're some heartless sons of bitches ya know that?" Dean asked although I'm pretty sure it was rhetorical. But yes suggesting killing the girl just because she could hear them was heartless. Of course not understanding that he wasn't supposed to answer Castiel replied "Yes we are. And?"

"And Anna's an innocent girl." Sam answered. I was inclined to agree with him. Even though her feelings were wonky for whatever reason and she could do some strange things she hadn't hurt anyone and didn't deserve death. "She is far from innocent." Castiel replied. Okay now I'm back to thinking I missed something, how could he say she isn't innocent? Sam asked the question I had been wanting to, "What's that supposed to mean?" It was that dickbag Uriel that answered the question. "It means she is worse than this abomination you have been screwing. Now give us the girl." Okay now I'm really confused and pissed off. Although some of the anger wasn't my own. Dean was beyond pissed that someone thought Anna could be worse than Ruby. I happened to agree, there was no way that Anna was worse than that good-for-nothing, skanky, lying, manipulative, slutty demon. Sam was also mad, but that was just because Ruby had been insulted. Ruby was upset about it as well, but I couldn't care less about her feelings. The angels on the other hand were getting impatient and it worried me a little, but not enough to make me give up Anna. "Sorry boys, but that just isn't gonna happen." I said. Dean looked at me and Sam and nodded. "Yeah get yourself another one. Maybe try Jdate." Dean told them.

Of course that didn't go over well with the angels, but I found it funny. I loved Dean's sense of humor when it came to these kinds of situations. "And who's going to stop us? You three or this demon whore?" Uriel said stepping toward us. I let out a snarl of anger letting him know he needed to back off and that I wasn't afraid of him in the least bit. Although thinking back on it that might not have been the smartest thing, he was pretty powerful after all. My snarl did nothing to make him stoop and he flung Ruby across the room. I did a slight happy dance in my head over that one. Dean then took a swing at Uriel. We were going to do everything we could to protect Anna. Castiel started advancing on Sam. I could hear him pleading with Castiel to stop, but I was more concerned with Dean at the moment. Uriel had a hold of Dean and was beating on him ruthlessly. I charged at him knife ready only to be flung across the room myself. The injuries I had sustained early from the big bad demon when we first met Anna made my head swim and I could barely breathe. I tried to stand back up, but I was too dizzy. Sam was passed out on the floor thanks to Castiel so I did my best to try and get over to him. Next thing I knew a bright light was shinning through the room with what sounded like thunder and the angels were gone.

I sat there next to Sam as he woke up and looked to Dean he was panting heavily but able to stand. He went and helped Ruby up much to my dismay. Why was he being nice to her? I couldn't take how he couldn't see the truth behind what she was doing. Sam then woke up beside me and I was glad he was okay. I smiled at him despite all the confusion I was feeling from everyone. Dean had gone to check on Anna but I was still a little too dizzy to stand. "Hey are you okay?" Sam asked. I loved how sweet and caring he always was despite everything he has been through. "Yeah I'll be okay just a little dizzy getting knocked in the head more than once doesn't exactly feel good I'll tell ya that much." I replied. Sam chuckled and helped me stand while saying, "No it most certainly does not. We get back to the hotel I'll get you some ibuprofen and maybe a neck massage. How does that sound?" It sounded heavenly, but I doubted I would get the massage.

I then felt concern coming from the back room. "Anna are you okay?" Dean asked. "Are they gone?" She answered with a question of her own. Did she have something to do with the angels being gone? I was happy they were so my concern at the moment was for her sounding weak like she had lost blood. "Did you kill them?" Dean asked. Well that answered one of my questions she did have something to do with them being gone. Sam, Ruby and I walked to the bathroom as Anna answered Dean's question; "No I just sent them away far away." He was wrapping up her bloody arm which answered my second question on her sounding weak. "But how did you do it?" I asked her looking at the mirror seeing the strange symbols she had drawn with her blood. She didn't seem to have heard me though so Dean asked, "Can you to tell me how?" Anna looked at the mirror and said, "I don't know how I did it. That just popped into my head. I don't know how I just did it." I looked at her even more freaked out about her than I was before. "Okay so am I the only one freaked out by little miss I just did it?" I asked.

Sam looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile. "Well I'm more curious than freaked out, but I can't feel her emotions like you can so..." Sam trailed off. I could feel his curiosity and Dean's as well although that wasn't all Dean was feeling for the girl. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. But then Dean's feelings turned to confusion as he looked at us. "Feel her emotions? What's Sam talking about Cassidy?" Dean asked. Well this isn't the way I wanted to tell him, but I guess now I have to. "Well Dean ya see the thing is, well I um I have always been more in tune with people's feeling than most. I was a very empathetic person and uh well when you got pulled from hell I went from being empathetic to being an empath I guess you could say. I don't know why and I'm still trying to figure it out." I replied. Dean looked at me and I knew he was no longer confused about what Sam was talking about, but I could tell he still had questions. However he decided not to ask them then and I was grateful because we had more important things to worry about.

With the angels gone everyone calmed down a little; we were still pretty tense and curious though. The angels definitely weren't what Sam and I had been expecting. We figured that out when they wanted to wipe out a town of innocents over one demon. This however drove home the fact that they were not at all what we thought they were. Everyone one of us was weary after all the confrontations we had been through and the story telling. Dean was feeling protective of Anna and I wasn't sure if it was because protecting the innocent is what we do or because he liked her. She was pretty so I couldn't blame him for liking her, I just didn't think it was a good idea since the angels were so gung ho to gank her. They last thing I wanted was for Dean to endure anymore pain than he already was. He was a good man and he didn't deserve what he was being put through, hell none of us did, but that's the life of a hunter.

We all walked back into the living room area of the cabin to sit down, take a breather, and hopefully figure things out. "So what do you guys think?" Dean asked once we settled down. "I think Anna is getting more interesting by the minute." Sam replied. I looked over at him and nodded. "I have to agree with Sam on this one. I mean the girl can hear angels, see demons and the angels want her dead. That's pretty interesting if you ask me. Not to mention the weird vibe I get from her that I've only ever gotten from the angels before." I said. Dean looked at me with a raised brow. I guess the fact I could feel emotions was still kind of weird to him. And I couldn't blame him for it. I'd been doing it for a while and still wasn't use to it how could he be? "Will get back to the things you feel in a bit. I agree with you guys. What did they mean by 'she's not innocent'?" Dean said. I was with him on that one; what did they mean? "I don't know Dean but I think it's more than her being able to hear them. I mean that blood spell, some pretty serious crap." Sam answered. He had a fair point blood spells where always serious. And the fact that she pulled it out of her head was just crazy.

"Something's going on with her. See what you can find out." Dean said. "What are you going to do?" Sam asked. I looked at Dean curious as to his answer. I could feel his emotions bouncing all over the place. He wanted to protect Anna and us, he was confused by Anna, and he was confused about me. The last one bothered me. I cared about these boys and I didn't want them confused about me or worried about what I could do. I was just glad that Sam understood. It warmed my heart to know I had him on my side. When Sam was focused on me and not everything else I could feel his understanding and his caring. I enjoyed feeling cared about again. I mean yeah Dean cared about me but now he has two people with powers hunting with him and he wasn't sure how to feel about it. "Anna may have sent the angels to the outfield, but sooner or later they're gonna be back. We got to make ourselves safe now." Dean answered. I was inclined to agree with Dean, we definitely needed to make ourselves safe.

We went back to the hotel and Sam got me the ibuprofen as promised, but there wasn't time for the massage. That is just so disappointing on so many different levels. I really wanted that massage because my head and neck were killing me, but also because I wanted Sam's hands on me. Sure I didn't plan on having sex with either of them because I didn't do one night stands, but I could admit both were extremely attractive. One would have to be blind not to see it. I let out a sigh causing same to look at me. "Hey you okay?" he asked. "Yeah I was just really looking forward to that massage you promised, damn angels." I replied. Sam chuckled and gave me a one armed hug causing me to smile. I also started to feel a warmth rush over me and pool in the pit of my stomach. Was that my arousal or his? Even I wasn't sure and I couldn't just ask him after all if something was going to happen I wanted to take it slow and enjoy every bit of it. "I made a promise and I plan to keep it. Once we get to Bobby's we will make the time." Sam told me. Dean had gone on ahead with Ruby and Anna which had me a little worried.

The Impala rumbled down the road feeling the silence with her beautiful purr. "Sam do you think Dean is mad at me?" I asked Sam. He chanced a quick glance at me before looking back at the road. "I don't think he's mad no and wouldn't you feel if he was?" Sam asked. I looked over at him knowing he was right. "Yeah you're right I didn't feel anger but he didn't exactly feel or act understanding. I'm just worried once he processes it all he won't want anything to do with me." I replied. Sam reached down and grabbed my hand to comfort me. I could feel how much he cared about me and how worried he was about what I was thinking. "Look Cassidy I can assure you that Dean cares way too much about you to stop caring and wanting to be around you over something like this." Sam told me flashing me a reassuring smile. What he said had definitely made me feel better. After all I would hate to lose Dean because of what I could do. I had grown so close to the boys and they meant the world to me along with Bobby. I had already had my world shattered once and I didn't want it to happen again.

Dean, Ruby and Anna went downstairs to the panic room once they got to Bobby's. He had a weekend free and built a room with iron walls that had salt ingrained into it along with sigils of all kinds to keep out ghost and such. Inside was a desk with a small table and a cot. Anna sat down in the chair and looked around. Dean was inside with her while Ruby stood outside the door. "Iron walls drenched in salt. Demons can't even touch the joint." Dean told Anna. That however only solved one of the problems we had; the panic room didn't keep out angels. "Which I find racist, by the way." Ruby said. "Write your congressmen." Dean replied. Ruby then handed Dean something. "Hex bags?" Dean asked. "Extra crunchy, they'll hide us from angels, demons, all-comers." Ruby replied. "Thanks Ruby." Dean said. Dean turned to Anna and handed a hex bag to her. "Here make sure you don't lose this. So Anna anything on angel radio?" Dean asked. "Its quiet absolute silence." She replied. "Well that isn't troubling at all." Dean said.

Sam and I had pulled in and got out of the car. Sam gave my hand one last squeeze reassuring me that things would be okay between Dean and me. "Hey Dean," Sam yelled. I could hear Dean telling Anna to stay were she was. He then came up the stairs and looked at us. "How's the car?" Dean asked. Of course he was worried about the car it was his baby after all. "I got her. She's fine. Where's Bobby?" Sam asked. Which I was wondering the same thing when we pulled up and I didn't see his car. "Uh, the Dominican; he said we break anything, we buy it" Dean answered. Okay that answers the question as to where he is at least. "He's working a job?" Sam asked. Dean's reply scared me as well as made me laugh. "God, I hope so. Otherwise, he's at hedonism in a banana hammock and a trucker cap." I looked at Dean and shook my head. "Thanks for the mental image Dean." I said as sarcastically as possible.

"Look before you guys go telling me what you found on Anna there's something that needs to be said." Dean said looking at me. His feelings were all over the place from confusion to acceptance, to caring to anger, back to acceptance so I had no idea how this was going to play out. "Cassidy I'm pissed you didn't tell me sooner since you clearly felt the need to tell Sam. However I want to understand this because I care about you. So explain to me how this happened and why Sam knew and I didn't." Dean practically demanded. I couldn't blame him for wanting answers not really.

I let out a huge sigh and Sam grabbed my hand before I finally replied; "Dean I'm not really sure how to explain it to be honest with you. Growing up I could tell how people felt by their body language and the tone of their voice; when you got pulled from hell however I actually started feeling peoples' emotions. I don't know why and it freaks me the hell out. I've been trying to find answers with no luck so far." Dean looked at me thinking trying to sort the information given to him. He was no longer confused on what I could do, only how like Sam and me.

"Okay then how about why Sam knew and I didn't?" Dean asked. He was feeling pretty angry that I had told Sam and not him, which I could understand, didn't mean I had to like it. Sam gave my hand a squeeze and I could feel how much he cared about me as well as how much he hoped Dean would understand. "Remember when Sam was pushing you about hell?" I asked. Dean nodded so I continued. "I told Sam that the pain you felt was still too near and that the nightmares were bothering you too much for you to be able to talk. When he asked how I knew what you were feeling I had no choice but to explain it to him. I wanted to tell you then what was going on, but you were stressed out enough as it was. I didn't want to add me having some power that I don't understand on you as well." Dean let out a sigh and his anger started to dissipate. He walked over giving me a hug making me ecstatic that he had forgiven me and understood. "Alright chick-flick moment over." Dean said letting me go. We all had a small laugh glad things were okay between us.


	9. Well Balls

Now that explanations were over with it was time to get down to business. I was so glad that I had got everything of my chest. It had been bothering me keeping the information from Dean. Not that keeping it from him had been my intentions; I just hadn't had the chance or known how to tell him. Knowing that Dean was okay with me however made things so much easier. Sam had let go of my hand once he knew Dean was okay with me; I sighed missing the warmth and closeness I felt holding it. "So now that's over, what did you find on Anna?" Dean asked. Truthfully we hadn't found much which was disappointing and had made me even more curious about the girl. "Not much if we're being honest." I told Dean. He looked over at me feeling as disappointed as I was.

"Her parents were, uh, Rich and Amy Milton, a church deacon and a housewife." Sam answered. "Riveting," Dean replied. "Isn't it though?" I said just as sarcastically as Dean had. Dean chuckled then went back to listening to Sam. Sam had smiled at me before he continued giving Dean the information we had; "Yeah. But there is something here in the report. Turns out this latest psych episode wasn't her first" Truth be told that was the only thing we found. It turns out miss innocent was prone to mental breaks. "No?" Dean asked. "Yep for sure," I replied before Sam said, "When she was 2 1/2, she'd get hysterical any time her dad got close. She was convinced that he wasn't her real daddy." Which was interesting what on earth made a two year old think that their dad wasn't their dad?

"Who was? The plumber, hmm? A little snaking the pipes?" Dean asked. I just about died laughing at that one. "I think I saw that one once." I told him. Dean smirked while Sam looked at me a little confused. What he wasn't saying and probably didn't want me to feel; he was curious and slightly aroused. I didn't say anything, but his arousal was getting to me. All the feelings I had been getting from him plus my own were about to push me over the edge. "Dude, you're confusing reality with porn again. Look, Anna didn't say. She just kept repeating that this real father of hers was mad. Very mad, like wanted-to-kill-her mad." Sam told Dean. "Cause that's not creepy at all." I said. And as far as I was concerned it was, a two year old shouldn't be saying things like that and from what we found on the parents they didn't plant those kinds of ideas in her head. The more we found on Anna the more I felt we couldn't trust her. Things just didn't seem to be adding up and I didn't like it. What bothered me more was I could feel Dean getting closer to her and while I didn't see him falling in love I could see him sleeping with her; I didn't like the idea of what the repercussions could be.

"That's kinda heavy for a two year old." Dean said. "Well she saw a kid's shrink, got better and grew up normal." Sam said. I looked at Sam with a raised eyebrow, like really Sam normal? "Yeah she's so normal." I told him as sarcastically as possible. "Until now that is. What's she hiding?" Dean asked. I had been asking myself that same question since we met the girl. Of course it hadn't gotten me anywhere yet. "Why don't you just ask me to my face?" Anna said from behind us. While we were talking we hadn't noticed that she had walked upstairs to where we were. We turned to Ruby kind of miffed that she had let her come up here when she was suppose to stay in the panic room. "Good job watching her." Dean and I said. "I am watching her," came Ruby's reply. I snarled at her wishing I could get my hands around her throat.

"No you're right Anna. Is there anything you want to tell us?" Sam asked. And he was right we shouldn't be sneaking around the girl's back plus it wasn't getting us the answers we wanted anyway. "About what?" Anna asked. "They angels said you were guilty. Why would they say that?" Sam asked. "Yeah we just want to know what those dickbags are goin' on about." I told her. She looked at us and the turmoil she was feeling was almost enough to suffocate someone. "You tell me. Tell me why my life has been leveled...Why my parents are dead. I don't know. I swear. I would give anything to know." Anna answered. I looked at her feeling sorry for her, hating how much pain she was going through, and for what; because she was kind of freaky and tapped the angels' signal? "Well let's find out." Sam said. I looked at him knowing exactly who he was going to call for help. "How?" Anna asked; she didn't get an answer though.

Sam, Ruby, Anna, and I waited downstairs as Dean helped Pamela down. "We're here." Dean yelled downstairs. "Pamela, hey." Sam greeted her. "Sam is that you?" Pamela asked. "I'm right here." Sam tells her. At this point she has made it over to where Sam and I are standing. My hand is barely brushing up against his, I wanted to hold his hand and I knew he wanted to hold mine, but we didn't want to bring attention to ourselves at the moment. "Oh. Know how I can tell?" she grabs Sam's ass, "That perky little ass of yours. You could bounce a nickel off that thing. Of course I know it's you, grumpy. Same way I know that's a demon, and that poor girl's Anna and that you keep glancing at Cassidy's rack." Dean smirked at me knowing Pam was right. Sam and I both blushed. It was weird and kind of cool to be around someone with such strong senses.

Pamela may have lost her eyes when she tried to see Castiel, but in a sense she could still see and hadn't lost any of her wit. "Uh..umm.uhh," was all Sam could articulate. He was caught and he knew it. I smiled knowing he was embarrassed about being caught and a little nervous about the questions he knew his brother was going to ask him. "Aw don't sweat it kiddo she don't mind. And I still got more senses than most." Pamela told Sam. "I don't mind." I said low enough for only Sam to hear. "Got it." Sam said but whether or not it was to Pam or me I wasn't a hundred percent sure.

"Hey Anna I'm Pamela." She introduced herself once she was in front of Anna. "Hi." She replied. Anna was feeling confused about the whole situation. She didn't understand how Pam was supposed to help her get answers, but she was willing to try whatever we came up with. "Dean told me what's been going on. I'm excited to help." I smiled knowing she was telling the truth. I was still standing next to Sam and since no one was paying attention to us I grabbed his hand. Something about being around him and touching him even in such a small way comforted me, made me feel wanted and less alone; he felt the same way reinforcing my feeling of not being alone. Anna looked at Pam a little surprised that someone was so excited to help. "Oh that's nice of you." Anna said. I chuckled and said under my breath, "She ain't doing it out of the kindness of her heart I tell ya that." Sam heard me and squeezed my hand letting me know he agreed.

"Oh, well, not really. Any chance I can dick over an angel, I'm taking it." Pam told Anna. "You'll get no complaints from us." I told her. Anna looked at me and down at mine and Sam's hands she smiled, but didn't say anything to bring attention to us. "Why?" Anna asked turning back to Pam. While the rest of us knew why Pam hated the angels, Anna was about to get a bit of a shock. "They stole something from me," she said taking off her sunglasses, revealing white eyes, "Demon-y, I know. But they're just plastic. Good for business. Makes me look extra-psychic, don't you think?" she laughed before continuing "Now...how about you tell me what your deal is? Hmm? Don't you worry."

Anna lay down on the cot in the panic room so that Pam could begin. She had Anna close her eyes so they could start. "Nice and relaxed. Now, I'm going to count down from five to zero. When we're at zero, you'll be in a deep state of hypnosis. As I count down, just go deeper and deeper, okay? 5... 4... 3... 2... 1. Deep sleep. Deep sleep. Every muscle calm and relaxed. Can you hear me?" Pam asked. I looked at Sam and Dean hoping this would work and we could get some answers. "I can hear you." Anna replied.

Their conversation continued back and forth after that. "Now, Anna, tell me... How can you hear the angels? How did you work that spell?" "I don't know. I just did." Of course she didn't know that would just be too easy. "Your father... What's his name?" "Rich Milton" "All right. But I want you to look further back... When you were very young... Just a couple of years old." "I don't want to."

I felt like this wasn't getting us anywhere; however I kept my mouth shut not wanting to mess anything up. Sam squeezed my hand in reassurance even though he wasn't feeling all that sure himself. I was grateful for the sentiment either way. "It'll be okay. Anna, just one look, that's all we need." Pam told her. "No," Anna refused which pissed me off. Why would she refuse when she wanted answers just as bad as we did? It honestly made no sense so I let out a huff in anger. Sam then wrapped his arm around my shoulder. He knew that holding my hand wasn't going to cut it anymore and he wanted to be there for me. Dean wasn't exactly happy either, but kept his mouth shut for the time being.

"What's your dad's name? Your real dad. Why is he angry at you?" Pam asked. Anna then started freaking out. "NO, NO, NO!" Anna yelled before letting out an ear piercing scream. Pam tried to calm her down but she was having none of it. "He's going to kill me" she said. Well who in the hell is he and why is he going to kill you? "It's alright Anna." Pam tried to reassure her. I looked at Sam and Dean wondering what was going on. "Anna?" Dean questioned walking toward her. He was worried about her and wanted to help, but I wasn't sure he should. "Dean don't" Pamela said giving voice to my concern. Anna threw Dean across the room and I went to him to make sure he was alright.

"Wake in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Anna... Anna? You all right?" Pam asked once Anna had awakened. I was worried about her, but I wanted to make sure Dean was okay first. "Thank you, Pamela. That helps a lot. I remember now" Anna said looking at us. Sam and I looked at each other before he asked, "Remember what?" We all looked to her waiting for her answer. "Who I am," She replied. Dean was standing at this point and looking at her wearily. "I'll bite who are you?" he asked. This was the moment of truth we were finally going to find out why Anna was so freaky and could do the weird things she did. "I'm an angel." She replied. What in the holly hell?

My mind was reeling after Anna's little revelation. We were trying to get rid of the angels not invite more into our life. I swear our lives are never easy. Dean and Sam were both shocked, Pamela was shocked and unhappy and Ruby, while I couldn't give two shits less, she was a little worried. "Well that's a twist I wasn't expecting." I told the boys. They nodded their agreement. "Don't be afraid, I'm not like the others" Anna tried to reassure us. "I don't find that very reassuring." Ruby said. "Neither do I," Pamela said at the same time I said, "I agree." While I hated Ruby with every fiber of my being I couldn't stand the angels for all the shit they gave Sam, plus being okay with sacrificing innocents.

"So...Castiel, Uriel, they're the ones that came for me?" Anna asked. She may have known the angels were coming and sent them away, but she hadn't been in the room with us to see them. "You know them?" Sam asked. I was curious about that myself. "We were kind of in the same foxhole." Anna replied. I cocked my head to the side, "Like military?" I asked. Before she could answer Dean asked, "So, what, were they like your bosses or something?" If she had disobeyed an order, them being her bosses would explain why they wanted her. "Try other way around." Anna answered Dean completely ignoring my question. "Don't mind me." I whispered. Sam smiled at me and said, "It's okay ya got me." While I was miffed about being ignored my heart was bursting with elation thanks to Sam. "Look at you." Dean said flirtatiously. The attraction coming from him and Anna was ridiculous.

"But now they want you dead?" Pam asked. It was a good question if she was their boss why would they want her dead. "Orders are orders. I'm sure I have a death sentence on my head." Anna replied. I couldn't believe how nonchalant she was about it. The coldness of the angels was unbelievable. "Why?" Pam asked. We all looked to Anna wanting to know the answer. "I disobeyed... which, for us, is about the worst thing you can do. I fell" Anna told us. I looked at her and said, "Wait what?" Dean was just as curious as I was because what she said made almost zero sense. "Meaning?" Dean asked. The answer didn't come from Anna though it came from Pam, "She fell to earth, became human."

I looked up at Sam and mouthed 'Human' letting him know just how confused I was. "Wait a minute. I don't understand. So, angels can just become human?" Sam asked. I leaned into Sam's side as I was still under his arm; since I could tell how much Dean and Anna wanted each other I didn't see a point in hiding our affection. "It kind of hurts. Try cutting your kidney out with a butter knife. That kind of hurt. I ripped out my grace." Anna explained. I cringed and said, "Sounds painful." Anna nodded in reply. Dean however was still confused. "Come again?" he asked. I could understand his confusion because I was confused as well on what 'grace' was. "My grace. It's... energy. Hacked it out and fell. My mother, Amy, couldn't get pregnant; always called me her little miracle. She had no idea how right she was." Anna further explained. "Welcome to Angel 101," was my reply. Sam and Dean both had a laugh at that. "So, you just forgot that you were God's little Power Ranger?" Dean asked. I chuckled loving his sarcastic attitude, it was one of the things we had in common.

"The older I got and the longer I was human, yeah I forgot." Anna replied. "Talk about some wicked amnesia." I joked. Ruby didn't find it funny however and said, "I don't think you all appreciate how completely screwed we are." I looked at her with a 'who gives a crap what you think' look. I really hated that stupid demon. "Ruby's right, heaven wants me dead." Anna said. I rolled my eyes and sighed. An angel and demon agreeing with one another; it was definitely the end of the world. "And Hell just wants her. A flesh-and-blood angel that you can question, torture, that bleeds. Sister, you're the Stanley Cup. And sooner or later, Heaven or Hell, they're gonna find you." Ruby told Anna. "I hate to agree with her, but she's right Anna has a target painted on her back." I told the boys. "I know they all want me that's why I plan to get it back." Anna informed us. "What?" Sam asked. "Yeah what?" I asked as well.

"My grace," Anna told us. I looked at her like she was crazy. "You can do that?" Dean asked. I was just as curious as him; grace didn't seem like something you could just find laying around. "If I can find it." Anna told him. Well seemed like a good idea. I may not like the other angels, but now that I understood why Anna was so weird I don't have a problem with her because clearly she didn't agree with the other angels or she wouldn't have fell. "So, what, you're just gonna take some divine bong hit, and, shazam, you're Roma Downey?" Dean asked. I chuckled that was one way to put it I guess. "Something like that." Anna replied. Dean nodded his head and said, "All right. I like this plan. So, where's this grace of yours?" It was a good plan if we could find it but it had been years since Anna lost it. "Lost track. I was falling about 10,000 miles per hour at the time" Anna answered. I looked at her and said, "What the hell?"

Sam stood up a little straighter and I could tell his mind was working. "Wait. You mean falling, like, literally?" he asked. I had an idea where he was going with this and I was curious to if it would work. "Yes." Anna replied. Sam smiled and was getting giddy at the thought of being right. "Like the way a human eye can see? Like a comet, maybe, or a meteor?" Sam asked her. I knew he was thinking the same thing I was if she could be seen maybe we could find her grace. "Why do you ask?" Anna asked. Instead of answering her we went to Bobby's library.


	10. Bomding Time

Sam and I dove right into looking for anything we could find to help us. I loved reading and doing research just like Sam; it was something we bonded over. "Here. In March '85, a meteorite vanished in the night sky over northwestern Ohio. It was sighted nine months before Anna was born, and she was born in that part of Ohio" Sam told us. "Yep he's right." I said glancing at what he had been reading. "You're pretty buff for a nerd." Ruby said. I chose to ignore her because a) there is nothing wrong with being a nerd, b) if I didn't I would attack her and now wasn't the time and c) Sam was my nerd buddy. "Look, I think it was Anna and here, same time, another meteor over Kentucky." Sam continued as if Ruby hadn't said anything. It made me smile knowing he was ignoring her as well.

"And that's her grace?" Ruby asked. "It might be." Sam replied. "All right. That just narrows it down to an entire state." Ruby shot back. I gave her the meanest look I could and said, "Way to kill the mood." She ignored me, but I didn't care. "Look, it's a start." Sam told her. And it was a start at least now we didn't have to search the entire United States to try and find it. "Sam...I'm sorry" Ruby said. I raised an eyebrow at that. I knew she wasn't feeling sorry that she was only worried about herself, but calling her out on it wouldn't get me anywhere so I let it go. "For what?" Sam asked. I hated that he couldn't see her for what she was, but she had put on a good show for him and it was going to be hard to convince him otherwise. "For bringing you this mess. If I had known, I would have kept my trap shut" Ruby replied.

"Yeah well we'll muddle through." Sam replied. I nodded and said, "I agree with Sam we always do." Ruby looked at me like I was lower than dirt. "Not this time. You do not want to get between these two armies. It's Godzilla and Mothra. If one side doesn't get us, the other one will" she told Sam. Which things did look bleak, but that was a hunter's life and we always found a way through. "So, what do you want to do? Dump Anna and run? Forget it. Look, I know the angels freak you out." Sam said trying to get her to see our point. I put a hand on his shoulder letting him know I was here for him. "Forget the angels. It's Alastair I'm scared of," Ruby told us. "Uh who's Alastair?" I asked.

"You met him in the church. Practically the grand inquisitor downstairs. Picasso with a razor." Ruby answered. Oh that dick, my head and ribs still hurt thanks to that jackass. I'd like to give him a piece of my mind. "And?" Sam asked. "Yeah he's just another demon what's the big deal?" I asked. "The big deal is he's powerful. And you should pull him out and throw him back in the pit... if you weren't so out of shape" Ruby told Sam. Sure she had answered my question, but she directed her answer to Sam. I growled at her pissed for insulting Sam. He was pretty unhappy with her as well. "Ruby..." he started but she interrupted him. "No, your abilities, you're getting flabby" She told him. Flabby really because he couldn't pull a demon, she considered powerful, out. "Well then how do I tone up?" Sam asked. His anger at her was something I wasn't expecting, but it made me happy. "You know how. You know what you got to do." She told him. I looked back and forth between them wondering what she was talking about. "No, I'm not doing that anymore" Sam told her. "Sam..." she started but Sam interrupted her this time, "I said no." She shook her head and said, "Well, then you better pray that Anna gets her groove back, or we're all dead."

"Sam ignore her, it'll be okay." I told him. He looked up at me and smiled. I grabbed his hand and squeezed while looking him in the eye. "I promise we will get through this. You got me and Dean. Plus we're pretty smart we should be able to find Anna's grace together." I reassured him. He squeezed my hand back and said, "Thank you for being here for me. You make me feel less alone and I haven't felt that way in some time." Sam said. "I feel the same way so you don't have to thank me." I replied. He then stood up and hugged me.

While we were inside researching Dean had took Pamela home and was now outside talking with Anna. "Pamela get home okay?" she asked; which was kind of a dumb question since she wasn't with Dean. "Yeah. She said she was sorry. It's just after last time, she, uh... This is just a little too rich for her blood" Dean answered her. They were both now leaning against the Impala. "I don't blame her. You guys should do the same." Anna told him. "Well, we're not that smart. Can I ask you something? What do they want me for? Why did they save me?" Dean asked. It was a good question and maybe Anna had the answers he was seeking, after all she was an angel. "I'm sorry. The angels aren't talking about it. And it was after I fell." Anna told him. Dean let out a sigh unhappy about what she told him, but it was to be expected. "That's another question. Why would you fall? Why would you want to be one of us?" Dean asked. "You don't mean that." Anna replied. Of course Dean meant it. He had seen just how horrible humanity could be and couldn't fathom why someone would want to be like us. "I don't? A bunch of -- of miserable bastards... Eating, crapping, confused, afraid." Dean said.

After that their conversation went back and forth starting with Anna, "I don't know. There's loyalty... forgiveness... love" "Pain" "Chocolate cake" "Guilt" "Sex" "Okay ya got me there." Dean said. And of course she did because Dean absolutely loved sex. "I mean it. Every emotion, Dean, even the bad ones... It's why I fell. It's why... why I'd give anything not to have to go back. Anything." Anna told him and she meant it too. Sure there were bad things about being human, but she preferred it. "Feelings are overrated, if you ask me." Dean said. And he did feel that way because he had never had the chance to form feelings for someone other than family. "Beats being an angel," Anna told him.

Dean was very confused at her answer and said, "How's that possible? You guys are powerful and perfect. You don't doubt yourselves or God or anything" Anna looked at him and sighed. "Perfect... Like a marble statue. Cold... no choice... only obedience. Dean, do you know how many angels have actually seen God? Seen his face?" Anna asked. Of course he really had no clue, after all until recently he didn't believe in the angels and had questioned God. "All of you?" his reply was more of a question than an answer. "Four angels. Four. And I'm not one of them." She told him. "That's it? Well, then how do you even know that there is a God?" Dean asked.

It was a good question too because if they hadn't seen him how were humans suppose to believe? "We have to take it on faith... Which we're killed if we don't have." Anna told him. Man that was harsh death for not believing was way too extreme. "I was stationed on earth 2,000 years. Just... watching... silent... invisible... out on the road... sick for home... waiting on orders from an unknowable father I can't begin to understand. So don't tell me that..." Anna gets interrupted by Dean's laugh.

"What is so funny? What?" Anna asked. "Nothing, sorry it's just I can relate." Dean told her as we walked up. " Hey." Sam and I said once we reached them. "You find anything?" Dean asked us. "We think so." Sam replied

Sam, Dean, Anna, and I walked back into Bobby's so we could show them what we found. Once in the house we went to the library and showed Dean the article Sam had found on the internet. "Union, Kentucky. Found some accounts of a local miracle" Sam said. "And in our line of work where there are miracles there is always something going down." I put in. "Ain't that the truth." Dean agreed. "Yeah, in '85, there was an empty field outside of town. Six months later, there was a full-grown oak. They say it looks a century old at least." Sam informed us. Man if we could get stuff to grow that quick all the time we would be rich.

Dean was curious about the whole thing and wanted Anna's input. "Anna, what do you think?" he asked her. She looked at us and slightly shrugged saying, "The grace. Where it hit, it could have done something like that, easy." I smiled happy that Sam and I were on the right track. We needed a win after everything that had been going on lately and this seemed to be heading that way. "So grace ground zero, it's not destruction. It's..." Dean started and Anna finished, "It's creation." Well isn't that interesting the guys that we had met seemed hell bent on destruction but grace, the thing that gave them power, was capable of creation. "Wow that's amazing. Let's just hope it's still there." I told the guys. They agreed with me before we all went out side and got in the Impala.

Dean was driving with Sam in the front. I was stuck in the back with Ruby and Anna, which I promise you I was not happy about in the least little bit. Anna was unsure how to feel about the prospect of getting her grace back while Ruby just hoped it worked so she would be safe. Sam was feeling a little sorry for me knowing that while I got along with Anna I didn't exactly feel comfortable with her; and that while I was playing nice I still didn't like Ruby. I could feel Dean's amusement and then he looked in the rear-view mirror and laughed. "What's so funny?" I asked while Ruby said, "What?" Dean shook his head and smiled at us before answering, "Nothing. It's just an angel, a demon, and a hunter riding in the backseat. It's like the setup to a bad joke... or a Penthouse Forum letter." I couldn't help but laugh. "Dude...reality...porn." Sam told him. "Well yeah it would never happen, but he does make a good point Sam." I told said. Sam rolled his eyes at me and didn't say another word.

We arrived at the huge oak where Anna's grace was supposed to be and I was amazed. It really was a beautiful sight and in a sense it was a miracle since grace created it. Anna and Dean got out and walked to the tree. I stayed in the car with the door open so I could still hear their conversation. "It's beautiful." Dean said. I could feel his amazement as well as his appreciation for its beauty. "I have to agree with him it is pretty amazing." I told Sam. He looked back at me and smiled his eyes alight with his wonder and appreciation, but I wasn't 100 percent sure it was directed at the miracle we were witnessing. "You're right it is beautiful." Sam said.

I almost blushed knowing Sam was talking about me; his compliment while veiled was sincere and I wasn't use to that. Most of the time when guys complimented me they only wanted one thing, Sam wasn't like that though, he actually cared about how I felt and it made me as giddy as a kid in a candy shop. "It's where the grace touched down, I can feel it." Anna told Dean. Sam and I got out of the car at that point to help them look for Anna's grace we needed to do this sooner rather than later. "You ready to do this?" Sam asked. I could feel Anna's trepidation and gave her a reassuring smile. "Not really," she replied. I couldn't blame her; she had run from that life and now was searching it out to protect herself and others. "What are we even looking for?" Sam asked. It was a good question considering we couldn't find it without knowing. Anna walked up to the tree, placed her hand on it, and closed her eyes. "It doesn't matter. It's not here. Not anymore. Someone took it." Anna told us. Well piss that's not good at all. We all got back in the car and left trying to think of a plan b.

Dean drove us back to the cabin we were staying in before going to Bobby's. "So what now?" I asked. I was truly hoping one of the boys had another plan. Hell at this point I might have even listened to a plan from that bitch, Ruby. Everyone was upset about Anna's grace being gone and they all felt worried about what was going to happen next. "We still got the hex bags. I say we head back to the panic room." Dean said. "What, forever?" Ruby asked. "I'm just thinking out loud." Dean replied. Ruby looked at him like he was stupid which pissed me off. I was so tired of her thinking she was better than everyone. Why couldn't I send her ass back to hell already? Oh yeah because Sam trusts her and I care about him deeply.

"You call that thinking?" Ruby asked. "Hey it's more than you're coming up with." I defended Dean. Dean was grateful for my defense and I smiled at him letting him know it wasn't a big deal. "Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Stop it" Sam shouted. He was trying to get us to stop arguing so we could come up with a plan, and I understood that; arguing wasn't going to help us. "Anna's grace is gone. You understand? She can't angel up. She can't protect us. We can't fight Heaven and Hell. One side maybe, but not both. Not at once." Ruby told us. Right like we couldn't have figured that out on our own; we aren't stupid. "Well no duh." I said sarcastically.

"Um... guys? The angels are talking again" Anna informed us. "Oh goody." I said under my breath. Sam was sitting beside me and put his hand on my knee for comfort whether for me or him I wasn't sure. "What are they saying?" Sam asked. This ought to be good; they had been quiet way too long. "It's weird... like a recording... a loop. It says, 'Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight, or..." Anna started before Dean interrupted, "Or what?" "...or we hurl him back to damnation' "Anna finished. I looked at Dean surprised and then Sam with worry. "Would they really do that?" I asked. Sam squeezed my knee and replied; "We won't let them" I nodded letting him know I heard him. He then turned to Anna. "Anna...Do you know of any weapon that works on an angel?" She looked at him wondering what he meant. "To what? To kill them?" She asked. Sam nodded his head letting her know that was exactly what he meant. "Nothing we could get to right now." She told him.

Well damn even if there wasn't a weapon what were we supposed to do? Last thing Sam and I wanted was for Dean to be thrown back to hell. Of course I wasn't keen on Anna being killed either it just didn't seem fair. "Okay, wait, wait. I say we call Bobby. We get him back from hedonism" Dean said. While I would feel better having another hunter with us, I don't think Bobby would be of much use. "What's he gonna tell us that we don't already know Dean?" Sam questioned. "I don't know but we got to do something." He replied. Dean went outside to be by himself, Anna followed not long after, but I didn't say anything. Sam had gone to the bathroom and Ruby left.

"Where'd Ruby go?" Sam asked as he came back to the living room. "She didn't say but maybe she has a plan." I told Sam. He looked at me and smiled before sitting down on the couch beside me. He turned toward me our knees touching and I could feel his longing as well as his caring and acceptance. My arousal shot through the roof from just that small bit of contact. "I know you're worried and I don't blame you. Dean and I have been hunting for years and never had to deal with something like this before." Sam told me. I smiled, laced our fingers together and replied. "It's not because I haven't been hunting long and I feel overwhelmed." Sam looked at me confused before asking. "Well what is it then?" I sighed and answered, "I care about you guys a lot and I don't want to lose you. I've been through the pain of losing the one you care about most and I don't want to go through that again." I was rubbing the side of his hand with my thumb and looking down.

Sam used his other hand to push my chin up and make me look him in the eyes. "I care about you a lot too and I don't want to lose you either. Unfortunately that's the life we live. Thing is the past few weeks my feelings for you have changed. I know you can feel that I want you. And since we might not have another chance to be together I want you to know now." Sam told me. And yes I could feel how his feelings had been changing over the past few weeks but I wanted him to come to me about it instead of me invading his privacy anymore by bringing it up. "Honestly Sam I feel the same way." I told him.

After I had admitted my feelings for him Sam leaned in and kissed me. His hand that had been holding mine slowly crept down to my waist while his other tangled in my hair at the back of my head. I let my hands rest on his chest and could feel his racing heart as well as his powerful muscles. His lips were so soft and I loved the feel of them on mine. Sam's tongue soon licked my lips as if asking for entrance which I granted. We sat there kissing for a few minutes before he gently laid me back on the couch. Sam kept one hand on my waist while he used his other to hold himself up. I ran my hands under his shirt feeling his muscles quiver at the touch. We soon broke apart so I could take his shirt off. I looked at him admiring how gorgeous he was before he bent down and started kissing my neck.

He slightly nipped the right spot causing me to let out a moan. Sam came back up and kissed me again. I was rubbing my hands all over his body enjoying the feel of him, but I wanted more. I sat up a little and broke our kiss so I could take off my shirt and bra. Once it was off I lay back and continued kissing him. He broke the kiss to trail kisses along my jaw-line, down my neck, across my collarbone and finally reached my chest. He took my left nipple in his mouth, gently sucking and twirling his tongue around it. I moaned and arched my back in pleasure. Sam took the hand that wasn't holding him up and starting rubbing my other breast with rolling the nipple in between his thumb and index finger. I was in heaven and we hadn't even got to the sex itself.

Sam switched nipples after a few minutes so that both got the same attention. I ran my hands through his hair and over his body while moaning in pleasure. He let my right nipple pop out of his mouth before trailing kisses down my stomach when he got to my belly button he dipped his tongue in and then continued. Once he reached my pants he undone them and I arched my back to help him slide them and my underwear off. He then laid his head on my right thigh and blew out air on my sex. I shuddered and moaned out, "Please Sam." He decided not to tease me and used his hand to pull my lips apart so he could flick his tongue against my clit. I closed my eyes and groaned at how good it felt. Sam continued to lick my clit while sliding a finger into me. It didn't take long for me to be close to the edge and Sam knew I was right there. He began to lick faster causing me to tumble over the edge. My body tensed and quivered as my release hit me.

Sam slid back up my body once my orgasm was over and kissed me again. I helped him out of his jeans without every breaking the kiss. Sam pulled back once he was completely undressed and looked me in the eyes. I nodded letting him know he could go ahead. He thrust his cock in me slowly letting me get used to him since it had been so long since my last time. Once he was all the way in he stopped for a few seconds before he started to slowly thrust in and out. "Please Sam faster." I begged. He complied and sped up his thrusts. We began to moan together loving the feel of how close we were. I could feel his pleasure as well as my own and it pushed me over the edge again. My sex tightening around his cock was his undoing. Sam came not long after me and laid his head on my shoulder for a few minutes. Sam and I cuddled up on the couch the best we could and got some sleep.


	11. Tearful Explanations

The next morning we got up and got dressed before Anna and Dean walked in. I could tell as soon as they did that they had, had sex the night before. Not that I was judging of course, but at least for Sam and I it wasn't going to be a one night thing. We were all sitting there trying to figure out what to do. "I don't know, man. Where's Ruby?" Sam asked. I honestly couldn't care less where she was, but I had hoped she had a plan to help us out of this mess. "Hey, she's your hell buddy" Dean replies before taking a swig from his flask. "Little early isn't it?" Anna asked. "It's 2 am some where." Dean replies. "Well I thought you were gonna say 5 o'clock somewhere, but that works too I guess." I said. Dean smiled at me but Anna frowned not understanding the reference.

The doors then fly open as Castiel and Uriel walk in. What the hell, where did these guys came from? "How did you find us?" Sam asked looking at Dean after Castiel greeted Anna. "I'm sorry." Dean told Anna. I was really confused now. "Sorry?" I questioned. "For what?" Sam asked. "Because they gave him a choice. They either kill me... or kill you two . I know how their minds work." Anna started she then gave Dean a kiss before finishing, "You did the best you could. I forgive you. Okay. No more tricks. No more running. I'm ready." Well shit that wasn't what I was expecting at all.

"I'm sorry." Castiel tells Anna although she sees it for the lie it is. "No. You're not. Not really. You don't know the feeling." Anna called him out on it. "Still we have history. It's just..." Castiel explains. "Orders are orders. I know. Just make it quick." Anna tells him. But before anything can happen Alastair, a bloody Ruby, and some other demon appear. Ruby looks horrible which makes me feel ecstatic. "Don't you touch a hair on that poor girl's head." Alastair tells the angels. Well this is a turn I wasn't expecting. "How dare you come in this room... you pussing sore?" Uriel insults. I roll my eyes, I was tired of the angels holier-than-thou attitude. "Name-calling. That hurt my feelings... You sanctimonious, fanatical prick." Alastair insults right back. "Turn around and walk away now" Castiel tells the demons. "Sure. Just give us the girl. We'll make sure she gets punished good and proper" Alastair replied. As if that was ever going to happen; the angels wanted Anna for themselves. "You know who we are and what we will do. I won't say it again. Leave now... or we lay you to waste." Castiel warned again. "I'll take my chances." Alastair fired right back. A fight soon broke out and Castiel tried, but is unable to exorcise Alastair.

Uriel managed to exorcise his demon and Alastair started to exorcise Castiel. Dean hit Alastair pissing him off. "Dean, Dean, Dean... I am so disappointed. You had such promise," Alastair said. Me hitting him was the distraction Anna needed to grab her grace from around Uriel's neck. After she broke the pendent white light started flowing into her mouth.. I looked around at it mesmerized before Anna yelled, "Shut your eyes. Shut your eyes! Shut your eyes!" Once we did light burst from her sending Alastair away. Anna was gone as well causing Dean to smirk and say, "Well, what are you guys waiting for? Go get Anna. Unless, of course, you're scared." I chuckled knowing they were slightly worried even if they weren't going to admit it. "This isn't over." Uriel told us. "Seems pretty over to me asshat." I said.

"You okay?" Sam asked Ruby. Personally I didn't care if she was okay or not, but she definitely looked like she had seen better days. "Not so much." She replied. Good that's what you get for being such a manipulative skanky ass demon. "What took you so long?" Dean asked. "Sorry I'm late with the demon delivery. I was only being tortured" Ruby answered. I silently laughed at her pain while Dean ignored her and said, "I got to hand it to you, Sammy; bringing them all together all at once, angels and demons, it was a damn good plan" Which is funny since originally we had wanted to avoid bringing them together. "Yeah, well, when you got Godzilla and Mothra on your ass, best to get out of their way and let them fight." Sam replied. I chuckled at the reference, but he made a good point. "Yeah, now you're just bragging" Dean said. I gave Dean a look like he's not bragging you're just jealous it wasn't your plan. Sam looked at Dean and said, "So, I guess she's some big-time angel now, huh? She must be happy... Wherever she is." Dean and I both knew that wasn't the case. He honestly felt sorry for her and I wasn't to sure how to feel. "I doubt it." Dean told him.

Later that day Sam and I sat on the hood of the car together; I was in between his legs my back to his chest while we both had a beer. Dean was leaning against the side of the Impala with his own beer. "I can't believe we made it out of there." Dean said. I had to agree it looked pretty bad there for a while. "Again," Sam replied and then clinked bottles with Dean. I could tell Dean was upset and unsure about something but I wasn't going to push him, after all I had promised not to. "I know you heard him." Dean said. Both Sam and I were curious who he was talking about and so we asked, "Who?" Dean sighed before replying, "Alastair. What he said... about how I had promise." Oh that yeah I had heard, but it wasn't my business. "And you're not curious?" Dean asked confused.

Well yeah we were curious, but I had promised Dean I wouldn't push him and I had convinced Sam not to either. "Dean, I'm damn curious. But you're not talking about Hell, and I'm not pushing." Sam told him. Dean looked down and said, "It wasn't four months, you know." Wait what? Bobby told me Dean had only been gone four months what was Dean talking about. "It was four months up here, but down there... I don't know. Time's different. It was more like 40 years." Dean explained. "Oh shit," I said at the same time Sam said, "My God." No wonder I could feel so much pain and turmoil from Dean. It also explained the nightmares and horrible drinking he had been doing lately.

"They, uh... They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you... Until there was nothing left. And then, suddenly... I would be whole again... like magic... just so they could start in all over. And Alastair... at the end of every day... every one... he would come over. And he would make me an offer; to take me off the rack... if I put souls on... if I started the torturing. And every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For 30 years, I told him. But then I couldn't do it anymore, Sammy. I couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls." Dean got a little choked up and tear rolled down his cheek before he finished, "The...the things that I did to them" I hopped down from the car and hugged him. His pain was making me cry because not only did I feel his pain, but I hated that my best friend was hurting so bad. "Dean... Dean, look, you held out for 30 years. That's longer than anyone would have." Sam told him. I knew Sam was trying to reassure his brother, but this time nothing we said was going to help. Dean was now full blown crying in my arms. "How I feel... This... inside me... I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy, Cassidy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing." Dean told us. My heart broke for the pain that he suffered in hell and the pain Sam endured while he was gone. I wish I could do something to help them both.


	12. Some People Never Listen

Sam and I were in the backseat of the Impala sleeping together. He was lying on his back and I was curled up on top of him. My head was on his chest with my left arm draping down and my other up by his head. My chest was on his stomach and the rest of me between his legs. It may not have been the most comfortable way to sleep but it was all we had for the moment. Sam woke up and shook me. I got up so that he could sit up. Dean was in the front sit studying some papers which made me groan.

"What's that?" I asked pointing at the papers Dean had in his lap. "Yeah man what are you doing?" Sam asked. Dean looked up at us like we were dumb. "What's it look like I'm doing guys?" he answered our question with a question. Really couldn't have just told us what you were doing Dean; I gave him a look conveying my thoughts. "It looks like you're looking for a job." Sam answered. "Yahtzee," Dean replied. "Dude we just finished a hunt like two hours ago." I supplied. "Adrenaline's still pumping, I guess. So, what do you think...Cedar Rapids, Tulsa, or Chi-Town?" Dean asked.

I enjoyed saving people don't get me wrong but I also needed this wonderful thing called sleep. "I am all for working. I really am. But you got us chasing cases nonstop for like a month now. We need sleep." Sam told him. I nodded my agreement. Of course Dean ignored us both. "Yeah, we can sleep when we're dead." Dean said. "Without sleep I'm gonna die." I groaned. Sam looked over at me and smiled knowing I was just as exhausted as him. "You're exhausted, Dean." Sam said. And it was true we were all exhausted and needed to take a break, but Dean wasn't having it. "I'm good," Dean replied. I could feel his aggravation at us for wanting to take a break from hunting if only to sleep.

"No, you're not. You're running on fumes, and you can't run forever." Sam said. Truth was that was exactly what he was doing. We all needed a break, but Dean was afraid to take a break. I laid my head on Sam's shoulder wanting to rest my eyes for a bit longer. "And what am I running from?" Dean asked. I let out a sigh knowing he was lying to himself about running. "From what you told us. Or are we pretending that never happened?" Sam asked. Dean was doing his best to run from what he had told us and the memories of it all; can't have nightmares if you don't sleep. Dean ignored the question and instead told us, "Stratton, Nebraska. Farm town. A man gets hacked to death in a locked room inside a locked house. No signs of forced entry."

Well that sounds like a ghost to me so hopefully it would be a quick and easy case. "Sounds like a ghost." Sam said. Dean nodded and said, "Yeah it does." Well I guess that means we are going to Nebraska no matter how much Sam and I wanted to rest. Sam sighed and flopped back in the seat. Sam gave me a kiss before he leaned against the door and I leaned against him. We might as well try and get some more rest on the way there because it didn't seem like we would get any, anytime soon. I wish Dean would just admit to himself why he is burying us in cases; a break would definitely be nice.

As Dean pulls onto the road heading toward the house where the death occurred I notice a sign that says sold. Great just what we need another family to show up before we kill the ghost. I point the sign out to Sam who lets out a sigh. "Let's hope whoever bought won't be here for a few days." I say. He nods his agreement, because the last thing we want is more people to die. Dean finally parks in front of the house and shuts the Impala off. Sam and I get out and head to the trunk to grab the E.M.F detector to make sure it is a ghost. We walk in side and look around. "Boy, three bedrooms, two baths, and one homicide. This place is gonna sell like hotcakes." Dean said. I looked over at Sam confused did Dean not see the sign or hear what I said in the car? Sam shrugs his shoulders figuring Dean just hadn't heard us.

We walk toward the kitchen and start opening the cabinets checking the place out. "Hey, check this out," Dean says after noticing a empty piece of wall. He knocks on it and you can tell it's hollow by the sound. "It's probably a dumbwaiter. All these old houses had them," Sam informs Dean. Which is an interesting piece of information I guess, but I don't see what it has to do with the case. "Know-it-all," Dean says under his breath. Sam still heard him, but not well enough. "What?" Sam asks causing Dean to ask the same question. "You said..." Sam starts before Dean interrupts asking, "What?" Sam shakes his head and says, "Never mind." When the boys act like that I shake my head and laugh because it's the only thing I can do.

I walk into a bedroom with Sam and Dean following me. It's a nice room with no clues to what we are dealing with. "Well, no bloodstains, fresh coat of paint, it's a bunch of bubkes." Dean says. I look at him and reply, "Thanks for pointing out the obvious." He sticks his tongue out at me in response. "Sam your brother's being mean to me." I whine. Sam looks at Dean giving him a playful mean look and says, "Dean be nice to my girlfriend or I'll kick your ass." I smile loving the fact he called me his girlfriend. We had only been together a month but hearing him label what we are made my heart leap with joy. I then stuck my tongue out at Dean who laughed. After that Sam looked at the E.M.F and said, "Needle's all over the place." Dean nodded and pointed at the power lines which were pretty close causing it to act haywire. "Great." Sam says putting the E.M.F detector in his pocket.

We then open a closet door and see a doll head. I let out a squeal hating dolls; they gave me the creeps for some reason. Sam grabs my hand knowing I'm creeped out. "Well, that's super-disturbing," Dean says. "Yes super creepy now close the door so I can pretend it isn't there." I tell Dean. He listens and closes the door before turning to Sam who asks, "Think it got left behind?" That's a little far fetched since the person who lived here before was a man, but people are into some weird stuff these days. "By who? Unless Bill Gibson likes to play with doll heads." Dean replies. I shrug my shoulders in a 'ya never know' kind of way. We then hear a truck and moving van pull up. "Shit well there goes my hopes." I say. Sam looks at me and replies, "Yeah I know when we saw the sign I thought it would be a few days." Dean looks at us confused. "I thought you said the place was still for sale?" he asks. Sam looks at him and shakes his head before answering; "I thought it was still we got here and Cassidy pointed out the sold sign. Thought you heard us mention it in the car." Dean gives us an incredulous look before throwing his hands up and saying, "Clearly not Sammy or I wouldn't be asking." I stifled a laugh finding it funny when Dean got like this.

Sam, Dean, and I walk down the stairs from the front door to stand in front of the people who just arrived. "Hi are you the new owner?" Sam asks. The man gives us a funny look before answering, "Yeah and you guys are?" Dean smiles and replies quickly with, "This is Mr. Stanwyk, I'm Mr. Babar, and this is Ms.Nelson. County code enforcement." After years on the job he was good at coming up with answers off the top of his head. It came in real handy when someone showed up out of nowhere like these people. "We had the building inspected last week. Is there a problem?" the man asks. Sam is the one to answer this time, "Asbestos in the walls, a gas leak...yeah, I'd say we got a problem." A woman walks over who I assume is the wife. "Asbestos? Meaning what?" she asks. I look at her and sigh because most people know what asbestos is and what it can do to a person.

"Meaning until this house is up to code, it's uninhabitable." I tell her. The man in front of us seems to get upset at the thought of not staying in the house. I didn't care however, because I wanted to save him and his family even if that meant making him mad. "Whoa whoa whoa, you're saying we can't stay here?" he asks. I get a 'really' look on my face at the stupidity of that question; what does he think uninhabitable meant exactly? "It's a health hazard. You don't want to," Dean tries to tell him. Another man came over and I guess he is related to the husband and wife in some way. He looks at the boys pretty miffed about what we are trying to tell them. I'm not getting evil looks though and I'm not sure why, but I'm not going to complain about it. "Hold up. We just drove four hundred miles." The new man says.

I could understand being upset at driving that far to be told they couldn't stay, but it was for their own good. "There's a motel just down the road. Till this gets cleaned up, I suggest you stay there." Dean tells them. "All right, and what if we don't?" The husband asks. I look over at Sam like what part of you can't, don't they understand. He shrugged letting me know he had no idea either. "Well, you get a fine or you go to jail. Pick your poison." Dean tells him. He lets out a sigh clearly defeated and says, "One night. One night, and I'll take care of everything, ASAP, I promise." I hope we can figure this out in one night for these people's sake. "Yeah, you do that." Dean replies. Their daughter then walks up and looks far from happy. "Another motel? Awesome, Dad. I hope this one has hooker sheets, like the last one." She says. Her parents ignore her and start hollering for their son Danny before the leave.

I smile at the boys, glad we got them to leave. "Honestly I thought they were never going to leave." I say. Sam wraps his arm around my shoulder and dropped a kiss on the top of my head before saying, "Well we got one day to figure it out so let's get to work." Dean looks at us and fake gags, "Do you guys have to be all lovey dovey? Man just get a room and give it to her already." I die laughing because Dean didn't know we had made love the night he was with Anna he just thought we had became a couple. "What...What did I say?" he asks confused about why I was laughing. Sam smiles at him and replies, "I already 'gave it to her' that night at the cabin." Dean smirks at Sam slaps his shoulder and says, "Way to go Sammy. So how was it?" I could feel his amusement about his joke, plus I knew he really was happy for us since hunters normally don't find a significant other. I punch Dean in the shoulder causing him to laugh before we all pile back in the Impala to continue our research for the case.

The Impala rumbled down the road heading toward our next stop in figuring out the case. We were going to speak with Mr. Gibson's (previous owner of the house) cleaning lady. Hopefully she would have some information to help us find the ghost before the new family came back. They were very persistent on coming back sooner than we would have liked them to and I wasn't sure we would be able to protect them from their own stubbornness. It really bothered me when people don't listen especially when I'm trying to keep them safe. Dean soon pulled into Mrs. Curry's drive way allowing Sam and I to hop out while he shut the car off. I knocked on the door and show her my badge. She lets the boys and me in without a problem. "What did the room look like when you found it, Mrs. Curry?" Sam asked. She let out a sigh having already answered these questions. I knew it could be tiring, but the local police didn't know the things we do. "I already told the local boys, there was blood everywhere." She replied. "And Mr. Gibson, where was he?" Dean asked. She looked down before looking at Dean to answer, "Everywhere." I grabbed her hand knowing what she saw must have been awful. "I'm sorry you have to relive that by answering our questions Mrs. Curry, but we can't help otherwise." I said. She patted my hand in a there, there way before saying, "It's okay dear while it was awful I understand you have a job to do."

 

It was always good to be friendly with the people we had to question. I found it made them more likely to not only answer us, but to do it honestly. "How long have you been cleaning Mr. Gibson's house?" Sam asked after flashing me a smile. Mrs. Curry looked like she was thinking before replying, "About five years." If she's been cleaning for him that long she might know quite a bit about him. "So you knew him pretty well." Dean said. "Well, not really well. He was real private. Not the easiest man. Not that I blame him." Mrs. Curry told us. That's interesting most people aren't closed off unless they had something happen to them. "What do you mean?" Sam asked. "His wife died in childbirth. Daughter hangs herself in the attic twenty years later. I'd be bitter, too. I think I got some pictures." She answered before walking away. "Poor man I'd be pretty closed off myself if I was him." I say just as Mrs. Curry walked back over with some pictures in her hand. She handed them to Dean who asked, "Mind if we keep these?" She shrugged and said, "suit yourself."

"Now, why'd the daughter kill herself?" Sam asked. Depending on what happened she could be the ghost. "I don't know. That was before my time." Mrs. Curry replied. Well damn most likely isn't her then although sometimes ghost take years to manifest so it could be possible. "Did you ever notice anything odd in the house when you were cleaning it?" Dean asked. She looked at him funny before asking her own question, "Like what?" For her to be able to answer us she probably did need a better idea of what we were asking. "Like, you know, like lights going on and off, things not being where you left them." Dean replied. She looked at us funny and so I said, "I know it's an odd question, but every little detail no matter how small can help us."

She looked thoughtful for a moment before telling us, "No. Well, maybe there was one thing." Sam perked up a little at that hoping it was something that could help us. "Well, sometimes, I thought I heard like a...rustling in the walls." She told us. "Like a rat?" Dean asked. "Yeah," she replied. "Must have been some big sons of guns out there, huh?" Dean asked. "Don't know never saw any." Mrs. Curry answered. I cocked my head a little and looked at the boys. Sounds like a rat, but you never see one ;sounds like a ghost to me. "Do you happen to know where Mrs. Gibson and her daughter were buried?" Sam asked. "They were both cremated." She answered. "Thank you for your time." I tell her as we head out the door and back to the car.

"All right. So it probably wasn't the mom or the daughter. Whose ghost was it?" Sam asked. I looked thoughtful for a moment. All signs pointed to a ghost, but the bodies of the victim's wife and child were burned so unless there was something for them to be attached to it clearly wasn't them. "I don't know Sam it's very unlikely that it was his wife or kid, but it is still possible right?" I asked. Sam looked at me and replied, "Yeah it could be, but I think if it was them it would have happened sooner." I looked a little defeated before nodding and saying, "You're most likely right." Dean smiled over at us. He hadn't said anything other than picking on us however I think he was secretly happy that Sam and I were together. "I don't know who else it could be, but I say we give that place a real once-over and see." Dean said before we all climbed back in the car to head back to the house.

Dean pulled back up to the house and we could see lights on. "Crap. So, what now?" Dean asked. I let out a sigh, why can't people ever just listen to us? "We could tell them the truth." Sam answers. I looked at him knowing he wasn't being serious; he was just as aggravated as I was that the family had come back. Dean looked at him extremely confused. "Really?" he asked. Sometimes I question Dean's intelligence. "No, not really," Sam replies. I lean my head against the back of Sam's seat trying to think. "I guess we just sit here and wait, eventually something is going to happen and we will have to save those morons." I tell the boys. Dean let out a sigh feeling resigned about having to sit here while Sam felt upset about not doing more to keep the family away.

"I know we lied to those people to make them leave, but I really wish they would have listened." I said. The last thing I wanted was more people dead; however I couldn't think of a way to make the family leave before something happened. "So do I babe, but if something happens to them we are here." Sam said trying to reassure me. "Yeah babe we are right here." Dean mocked Sam. It was all in good fun to lessen the tension so I chuckled while Sam hit Dean's shoulder. "You don't always have to make fun of us ya know." Sam said. "Aww come on Sammy what fun would that be?" Dean asked. Before he could say anything else we heard a scream come from the house. We got out of the car and went to the door.

Sam knocked on the door and we waited for the family to answer. Ted, whose name I figured out by researching the family while we waited, answered the door. "We heard screams. What's going on?" Dean asked. The dad, Brian came over and asked, "Oh, you two! Did you touch my daughter?!" Seriously just gonna ignore the girl standing here with him. "What? No," Dean replied. "How could they when we were outside in our car and your daughter inside?" I asked. He looked at me before he realized I was right. I could feel the fear and confusion rolling off the family while Sam and Dean stood on either side of me feeling confident in their skills as hunters. "Who are you guys?" Brian asked. "Relax, please. You have a ghost." Sam says. I want to smack my forehead and shake my head. These people are never going to believe that they have a ghost.

"A ghost," Brian says like we are crazy. "I told you," the daughter, Kate says. "It's the girl," the son, Danny, supplies. Okay so our ghost is a girl, maybe it is somehow the wife or daughter. "Both of you relax." Brian starts looking at his kids before finishing with, "What are you guys playing?" while looking at us. We aren't playing at anything you moron you have a ghost and we want to protect your family. I of course don't say this out loud because I know it won't get me anywhere. "Your family's in danger. You need to get out of the house now." Dean says. The lights then all go out. Oh goody, try to find the ghost in the dark; this is going to me so much fun. "What the hell?" Ted asks.

"Nobody move," Dean says. Of course no one is going to listen to him. "Buster," Danny yells. I'm going to assume that's the dog since he's the only one I didn't know the name of. Buster started to howl somewhere outside the house. Brian goes outside to try and figure out where he is. Ted, Sam, Dean, and I follow. We were hoping to talk some sense into him and get him to leave, however I doubted it was going to be that easy. "Buster! Buster? Buster! Buster!" Brian yells hoping the dog will come to him. We walk off the porch while Brian continues to yell for the dog. I look around, but I don't see him. "What the hell?" I hear Ted say and look up. On the side of the moving van the words 'too late' are written.

At this point the rest of the family has come out on the front porch. "Buster," Danny yells again. Brian then tells his family, "Go back inside. Go!" They listen, but honestly inside isn't really where they need to go. "We are not the bad guys, but you're in danger." Dean tells Brian and Ted. "Seriously we just want to help." I add on. Sam looks at them and says, "First thing's first. You got to get your family out of here." They definitely needed to leave for their own safety. "Head to the motel I was talking about. You'll be safe there." Dean says. Hopefully this time they actually listen and go there.

"What are you three going to do?" Brian asks. Before I can answer him though I feels Dean's anger and devastation. "Oh, no! Oh, come on! Oh, come on!" He yells pissed off. The ghost had slashed all four of the Impala's tires. I then feel Sam's anger and confusion. "Dude, the guns are gone. So is the... Basically, everything is gone." Sam says. I walk back to the trunk and look in. "The hell?" I ask. "Truck's no good." Ted says walking up. Okay this ghost was seriously starting to piss me off. "Both tires are slashed." Brian says. "What kind of ghost messes with a man's wheels?!" Dean screams. I through my hands up completely confused and pissed. For one how did the ghost manage to jack everything and two what the hell kind of ghost can do that?


	13. She's Not A Ghost

Okay so we were screwed on fighting the ghost thanks to the ghost jacking our crap. I still wanted to know how it had managed to do it in the first place. I was seriously pissed about the fact that the family couldn't leave. Last thing I wanted was one of them to get hurt or killed plus them being there made it harder on us to complete the hunt. Kate was outside on the porch asking, "What's going on? What's going on?" Didn't we already make it clear that there was a ghost? Kate then screams before yelling, "She's there! She's there!" I whipped around looking, but didn't see the ghost. "Where?" Susan asked. The boys and I wanted to know the same thing; none of us like being weaponless. "She was right there in the woods!" Kat answered. Wait what that's not possible. "What's a ghost doing outside?" Dean asked. "You want to stay and find out?" Sam replied.

The answer of course was, no we didn't want to find out since we didn't have any of our weapons. "Everybody inside," Dean said. Yes because inside is so much safer, but really what other choice did we have? "Are you crazy? We need to get the hell out of here!" Ted said. "In what?! This ghost is hunting us! Everybody back inside now! Move!" Dean replied. I looked at Ted and said, "Seriously we have no other options or trust me we would take them." We all went back inside the house freaked out and not really knowing what to do. Sam, Dean and I searched the cabinets until we found salt. "Bingo," I said pulling it out. Dean made a circle big enough for everyone to stay in.

"Whatever's outside, it can't get in this circle. As long as the salt line is unbroken, this is the safest place to be." Dean told the family. "Safe from ghosts?" Brian asked. "Yes as a matter of fact." Dean replied. "Don't be condescending we know what we are talking about." I said. Brian clearly thought we were all crazy and had no intentions of listening to us. "Okay. I'm not listening to this anymore. Come on. I got to get my family out of here. Let's go." Brian said to his family. I let out a sigh not knowing what to say. "Nobody's going anywhere until we kill this thing." Dean said. I highly doubted they would listen though. "Sir, please. This is what we do. Just...trust us." Sam said. Sam was hoping they would listen and Dean was just hoping no one would die.

"You hunt ghosts?" Danny asked. "That's right," Dean said at the same time I said, "Sure do kiddo." Danny's eyes lit up a little despite the fear the whole family felt. "Like Scooby-doo?" he asked. I chuckled because the monsters on Scooby-doo are never real like the ones we face. "Better," Dean replied. Sam pulled out the photos Mrs. Curry had given us and walked over to Kate. "You saw her outside, right? Okay. Does she look like either one of the girls?" Sam asked showing her the photos. "Her. She was paler and a lot dirtier, but that was her." Kate answered pointing at one of the girls in the picture. "That's the girl in the walls." Danny said. Well then we have our ghost but how she is leaving the house is still in question. "So it's the daughter?" Sam asked.

"Makes sense considering how ghosts come to be." I said. Susan was freaked out so bad you didn't need my powers to know. "That girl in the picture...She-She's dead?" Susan stuttered out. "She killed herself inside this house." Sam told her. "So, what...the maid got her story wrong? Rebecca wasn't cremated?" Dean asked. That was possible, but there was one other explanation. "Unless her spirit's just attached to something inside the house." Sam answered. "Even so how's she leaving the house?" I asked. Sam grabbed my hand not knowing what to say, but knowing I was a little freaked out about the whole situation. "She hung herself in the attic, right?" Dean asked. Sam nodded. "You want to babysit? I'll check it out." Sam said.

Go with Sam without a weapon or stay with the crazy family in the circle? I thought about it but Sam gave me a look and I knew in the circle was where I was staying. "Look...I don't care who hung themselves where. Maybe something is going on here, but..." Ted started. "It's a spirit, man." Dean interrupted. "No, it's just some backwoods hillbilly bitch, and I'm not about to sit around here waiting for her to go all Deliverance on my ass." Ted said. I looked at him and wanted to laugh at the movie reference, but didn't instead I said, "We all wish that was the case, would make things easier but trust us we know what we are talking about. I've been doing this sometime and them way longer than me and it is never some chick."

Ted just looked at me like I was stupid before he looked at Dean and said, "Stop me." Dean was starting to get pissed at how no one wanted to listen. I was pissed and confused while Sam was confused and worried about all of us. "Listen, man. I've got a gun. You don't get your ass back in that circle, you're gonna have yourself a third hole." Dean said. I looked at him even more confused we didn't have our guns. "Dude, you don't have a gun." Sam said. Oh okay I got it now Dean was bluffing; good thing Sam said that quietly. "And? I'm not letting that bastard or anyone else die tonight." Dean replied. "You cool?" Sam asked. "Go," Dean replies. "You okay here?" Sam asked me before leaving. "I'll be fine although someone might get their ass kicked before you get back." I told him. Sam shook his head laughing at me and headed up the stairs.

We stood there waiting on Sam to get back quietly or at least we were before Ted spoke up. "Hey. Fonzie. Question for you. This indestructible force field made out of salt... Have to be kosher stuff, or what?" he asked. "I was serious about that ass kicking." I tell him. "Knock it off." Susan says talking to Ted. Hopefully he listens to her. A sound was then made, but it wasn't Sam. "Shh." Susan says. "What was that?" Kate asks. When we turn around the girl opens a door and enters the room we are in. At this point the fear is about to smother me, but I do my best to fight through everyone else's emotions. "Mom," Kate says. "All right, everybody stay calm. She's a ghost. She can't come in the circle." Dean tries to calm everyone. Of course that didn't work because the girl continued to come closer to us. At the edge of the salt she pulls out a knife and then steps over. "I thought you said ghosts couldn't cross the circle." Kate says frantically.

They can't which means that Ted was right as annoying as that sounds. "They can't. She's not a ghost." Dean says. "Clearly Dean now what?" I asked. My question was ignored when Ted said, "Shoot her! Shoot her!" Dean looks over at Ted and replies, "Yeah, about that... Go, go, go! Move!" Everyone begins to run except me. I refuse to leave Dean as he fights the girl. I was about to help Dean when Sam shows up. "Hey," he says before shinning a light in the girl's eyes. It causes her pain and she takes off. Sam, Dean and I then went outside to check on the family. "Hey. You okay?" Brian asks us. "Where is everybody?" Dean asks instead of answering. I looked around not seeing them. "Hiding," Brian replied. "Not sure what good that will do." I say.

Sam wrapped his arm around me in a comforting way. I was so glad to have him I probably would be freaking out if it wasn't for him. I had never faced something like this especially without a weapon it was pretty nerve wracking. "All right go, go get them." Dean says. "Go. Go get them." He repeats himself when he sees that Brian isn't moving. "So it's not a ghost." Dean says turning to Sam and me. "So, it's just a girl?" Sam asks. "Unfortunately yes," I reply. Dean just gives me a look like really now. "It's not just a girl. It's psycho Nell. I'm telling you, man...humans." Dean tells Sam. I kind of shake my head in agreement.

"So who is she then?" Sam asks. "I don't know." I reply. Dean thinks for a minute before saying, "I don't know. Maybe it's the daughter, Rebecca. Maybe she didn't hang herself." I highly doubt that it's Rebecca, but who it could be is still in question. "Dude, no. She'd have to be like fifty years old by now." Sam says. That's true and this girl didn't look very old. "Well, I don't know. What'd you find in the attic?" Dean asks. I look up at Sam wondering if he found anything. "Some old junk. I found Rebecca's diary. That's about it." Sam replied. "Hey maybe the diary has some answers." I tell the boys.

"I wish you'd found a howitzer. Listen, we got to get this family safe. I mean, it's just a human, so they can make a run for it. We just got to hold her off." Dean says. He's right if we can keep the girl from the family they can make it to safety. I really didn't want anybody to die tonight. "We're okay." Susan says walking up to us. "Danny! Ted! We got to go!" Brian yells. Ted then walks up saying, "I'm good." So far it seemed the whole family was okay which is good. "Danny come on," Susan yells. He doesn't seem to be listening. "Danny, buddy, we got to go!" Brian yells. Okay that kid really needed to listen before he got hurt.

"Told you it was some crazy bitch." Ted tells us. I look at him aggravated that he had to say told you so; it was such a childish thing to do. "Yes you did." Dean replies. I hate that Ted was right. but at least with a human we stand a chance of protecting these people. "Head to town. We'll take it from here, okay?" Sam tells them. "Danny, come on, baby! We're leaving!" Susan yells. I was beginning to worry about the boy. Where was he? "Danny, we got to go!" Brian yells. This isn't good why wasn't Danny coming when his parents hollered for him? Had the girl gotten to him? I really hoped that wasn't the case. "Brian, where...Where is he?" Susan asked. Brian yelled for him again, but still no answer.

Brian and Susan were frantic over their missing son. I couldn't blame them though especially with that psycho running around. I just hoped that the girl hadn't gotten to poor Danny. I can honestly say this is the worst hunt I have ever been on. "Danny," Susan yelled. It didn't seem to be doing any good; no matter how much she yelled Danny never turned up. "Suse, Suse, Suse. We will find Danny, I promise you." Brian said trying to reassure her. It wasn't working though she wanted to stay with us even though it wasn't in her best interest. "No," she told Brian. I could understand her wanting to find her son, but we were there and we stood a better chance of finding him if we didn't have her and her daughter to worry about. "No. Take Kate and go now. Now, while you still have a chance." Brian said.

What the girls needed to do was hide some place safe till we found Danny that way we could get them all out of there safely. "Not without Danny." Susan replied. "Ugh I swear," I said under my breath. This conversation kept going in circles and I was about fed up. "We will find him." Brian said. "I am not going out there with Mom alone." Kate said. "I don't blame ya kid." I told her. "She's right. Until we find your son, the safest place for you right now is in the shed." Dean said. "Yes I agree it will be easier to look for Danny if we aren't worried about you guys." I tell them. Of course what we want and what they want differ. "I am not going in there either." Kate says. "Yes, you are. It is the best defense. The windows are boarded up. It's got one door. It's our best shot right now. Trust me." Dean tells her. I look at her pleading with her to listen to us. "Suse. Kate. Go. Go." Brian tells them and they finally listen.

"All right, you, Cassidy and me will take the outside. You two take the house. Let's go." Sam says looking at Brian and I before looking at Dean and Ted. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately I'm not entirely sure, we didn't find anything so we went to the shed with the girls and barricade the door. "Look, why are we just standing here? Let's go in. Let's check the house." Brian said. "Dean and Ted are checking it we need to stay with the girls till they get back." I say. "We have to wait for those guys to get back, okay?" Sam says reinforcing what I had said. We then hear what sounds like a knock. "Sam Cassidy it's me." Dean says. Sam looks at me and Brian saying, "Help me." We begin to move what we have blocking the door so that Dean can come in.

Dean walks in, but Ted isn't with him and it doesn't look like he found Danny either. "Did you get Danny?" Susan asks even though the answer seems pretty obvious. "No," Dean replies. I can feel sadness coming from him and it makes me wonder what happened in the house. "No? Well, where's Ted?" Susan asks. Dean's sadness grows at the question and I know what happened without him having to say it. "He's outside." Dean answers. I wish he would quit beating around the bush and just tell her. "Well, why doesn't he come inside?" Susan asks. I'm beginning to wonder if she is always this daft or if her stress is just making it hard to pick up the clues. "Because I had to carry him out. I'm sorry." Dean tells her. I shake my head now that he confirmed what I already knew.

"You're...what does that mean? What does that mean, you're sorry?" Susan asked and if I hadn't felt sorry for her because of her loss and her son missing I would have rolled my eyes at her. "Are you saying that he's dead?" Brian asked. Their fear had turned to sorrow and I felt for them, but we still had to get out of here. "Unfortunately Brian that is exactly what he is saying," I tell him at the exact same time Susan says, "No. No, he's not saying that he's dead. You're not saying that, are you?" She must not of heard me though because when Dean starts, "We were in the walls and she attacked." Susan's eyes grow wide and she cries out, "Oh my God." I lowered my head upset that we lost someone. I had been hoping that we would be able to save them all. Dean then finishes with, "And I couldn't get to him in time."

Dean was really hating on himself right now so I reach over and grab his hand. He was my best friend and I wanted him to know I was there for him. "Uncle Ted is dead?" Kate asked. As sad as the situation was it took everything in me not to snicker at the rhyme; I'm an awful person. "I shouldn't have left him alone I'm very sorry." Dean said before letting go of my hand and walking outside. I felt more sorry for him than I did the family because of everything he had been through; now one more loss for him to have on his shoulders. It wasn't fair how much Sam and Dean had been through. Wasn't losing their mom enough? The answer was no obviously since they lost their dad as well and Dean went to hell and Sam got manipulated by a demon whore and now another innocent life gone. Hunters really got the shit end of the stick, some more than others. I wish I could take the boy's pain away, but I couldn't plus I had my own to deal with.

Sam began reading Rebecca's diary hoping to find some answers on who the girl was. "We'll find him, Suse. We will," Brain tells Susan. I assume they are talking about Danny since there was no one else to find. "Where else is there to look? Danny's dead, isn't he?" Susan asked. I looked at her trying to convey my condolences for her loss as well as my hope that her son was still alive. "No, Suse." Brain answered. She didn't look too reassured though. "He is. Why not? She killed my brother. Now she killed my son." Susan told Brian. I could understand why she would think that, but we hadn't found his body so there was still hope. "No, Danny is alive." Brain said. Susan shook her head not believing him. "No, no, he isn't." she argued. "Yes, he is. Do you remember what he said about the girl who lived in the walls? She said he could stay." Brian told her.

Well then if she wanted him to stay she wouldn't have killed him. This gives me more hope that he is alive and possibly just locked in a room or something. "No. No. I just don't understand why this happens to us. I mean, we're good people. We're a good family." Susan says. I look at her and say, "All who see such things ask the same question, but we never do find an answer. The only thing we can do is move on." I tell her. I honestly believed what I told her. I had asked my self so many times why I had went through what I did and I know the boys had as well. We never really got our answers though and probably never would; that's why we moved on and now hunt things and save lives. "What happened to Andy happened, okay? I cannot change that. But I will find Danny, I promise you. And when I do, we are gonna be fine. You and me, the kids, we're gonna be fine." Brain tells her. That's when I noticed that Sam had been pretending to read while he listened to us. "Okay," Susan replied. Sam then went back to reading when he realized I had caught him. Although I don't blame him for listening to that last bit; who was Andy?

I stepped outside with Brian to where Dean was. It was stuffy in the shed plus I really had no reason to be in there. "Andy your son?" Dean asked. Well that would be an interesting twist. "Oldest. He got himself killed in a car accident last year." Brian replied. That answers that question then. "I'm sorry," Dean told him. "I am to Brian it must've been hard." I said. He looked at me then back at the house. "It nearly tore Suse and I apart. Still could, I imagine. That's why we moved here. Fresh air, fresh start. Not even my line. Marriage counselor. 'Course, she might be right. After all, what could possibly go wrong in the country?" Brain told us. I looked at him and shrugged my shoulders; wouldn't do any good to say a lot apparently.

"I'm getting your son back. If it's the last godforsaken thing I do." Dean tells Brian. I really hope we do get Danny back, but I don't want it to be the last thing Dean ever does. "Why do you care so much?" Brian asked. Before Dean could answer him Sam walks out holding the diary and says, "We need to talk." That's not foreboding at all Sam. We walk away from Brian so that we can talk. "What is that?" Dean asks pointing at the diary. Really Dean, Sam told you what it was when he found it. "Rebecca's diary. I just finished reading it," Sam tells him. "And?" Dean asked. "That girl back there? Pretty sure she was Rebecca's daughter." Sam answers. My eyes widen is surprise before I ask, "Seriously why didn't Mrs. Curry mention a kid?" Dean looked at me then asked Sam, "Rebecca had a kid?"

Okay this hunt was getting weirder by the second. "It's all she talks about. Being pregnant, being ashamed of being pregnant." Sam tells us. I frown not seeing a reason to be ashamed about having a kid. "Jeez, rent Juno and get over it. Wait, why kill herself after the baby?" Dean asks. That is the million dollar question. "Maybe because her dad called her a dirty little whore and said he was gonna lock the baby up." Sam replies. What a horrid man that father was. "Why would he say that?" Dean asks. Sam doesn't say anything and it makes me realize that the kid was from incest. "Ugh what a horrid man." I say at the same time Dean says, "Oh gross." And it was gross beyond anything I could think of. "So the daddy was the babydaddy too?" Dean asks. "Dude was a monster, Dean." Sam replies. I look at Sam and shake my head. "No monsters don't harm their own he's worse than a monster." I say. Dean and Sam look at me before agreeing.

"Wow, a story ripped from an Austrian headline. Humans, man. So she's been locked up her whole life?" Dean asks. It would explain why she acted so feral. "You saw her eyes. Has she ever seen light? She's barely human." Sam replies. I remember the light hurting her eyes like she had never seen it before and had thought it odd at the time; now it all made sense. "Okay, so, what, then, she's been caged up like an animal and she busts out and ganks dear old Dad? Slash Granddad?" Dean asks. Not that I would condone such an act, but it would make sense. "I guess," Sam answers. I'm pretty sure that's exactly what she did. "Well can't say I blame her." Dean tells us. "I'm sure her life was hell, Dean. It doesn't mean she gets a free pass for murder." Sam replies. Dean gets a little angry at that and says, "Like you know what hell's like." I feel so sorry for Dean having gone through what he did, but that wasn't what Sam meant. "I didn't..." Sam started, but Dean interrupted, "Forget it."

Letting it go was probably the best bet. Dean didn't need to talk about his time in the pit anymore and we needed to find the girl. "So where do we find her?" Sam asked. The house was big and we didn't see her when we were there before so who knows where she was hiding. "Kid's gotta eat, right?" Dean asks. Of course she has to eat, but what does that have to do with anything? "What?" Sam asks. I look at Dean wondering where he is going with this. "He kept her hidden, locked up, but he had to feed her, didn't he?" Dean asks. "I guess," Sam replies. "Well obviously he fed her or she would be dead." I put in my two cents. "I think I know where." Dean tells us. I'm glad he has an idea because I want to find this girl before anyone else dies.


	14. An Explanation and A Break

Dean, Sam, Brian and I walked into the kitchen. I had an idea of what Dean was thinking and I hoped he was right. I really wanted to find Danny and get everyone else out of here. It was bad enough that we had lost Ted; we didn't need anymore innocent lives on our hands. Sam and Dean started busting a hole in the wall, allowing light to shine into a shaft. "Could've kept her hidden here for years. Kept her fed, nobody would ever know." Sam says. I nodded my head and replied, "With the dumbwaiter he never would have even had to see the kid himself. No wonder she is so feral after having no human interaction. I feel sorry for her, but she shouldn't have killed Ted." He had never done anything to the girl, so why did she kill him?

Brian flinched back before he started yelling into the shaft, "Danny! Danny!" I really hope he is done there, perfectly safe. Dean then shined his flashlight into the shaft. "Watch out, I'm going down." Dean said. Brian looked at him confused. "No. That's my son," he replied. While Danny was his son Dean was more equipped to deal with this sort of thing. "I know it is, but I said that I would get him. I will. Let me." Dean told us. He walked closer to the hole and looked up and down the shaft. Before he could climb in I grabbed him and said, "Be careful Dean we need you." Dean nodded his head, and then climbs down the side. "Hey, you got curtains? We need rope," Sam asks Brian. Rope would help Dean get up and down the shaft easier. Brian left us to go get the curtains while Sam held a light for Dean.

"I really hope he finds Danny. This family came here for a new start and are now dealing with this, it's messed up." I tell Sam. He turns toward me but keeps the light shinning for Dean. I can tell he's just as upset, about this whole mess, as I am. "I know those kids don't deserve to be messed up like this. And losing a kid can't be easy. But unfortunately life likes to screw us that way. Look at us...you, me, Dean, Bobby we don't deserve what we've been through. That's why we do what we do to protect people from the things we've seen. " Sam told me. I sighed knowing he was right, but it didn't change how I felt. "I know Sam, we hunt things and save people, but this isn't a thing it's a little girl gone feral because of how she was treated growing up. I feel like we should be trying to help her too, I just don't how we would." I replied.

Sam was a little surprised at first; however he realized that I made a good point. "You're right babe, I wish we could save her. The thing is though she has committed two murders and there is no going back from that. Only thing we can do is get this family out of here and call the right people to see if they can help, that is if we don't end up having to kill the girl." Sam said giving me a one-armed hug. Brian comes back and hands us the curtains. Sam drops them down the shaft for Dean and hopefully Danny. Sam looks down in the shaft and yells, "Danny." That must mean that Danny was down there and he was okay. That made me smile and feel a little better.

Danny tied the rope around himself and yelled up at Sam, "Okay" Sam turns towards us and tells us to pull. Brian and I begin to help Sam pull on the curtains/rope. "Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy. Don't look back, Danny. Just come on, come." Brian says as we hoist Danny up. I was so glad Danny was okay. He soon emerged from the shaft. "Come on. You okay? It's okay." Brian asked Danny. He seemed okay to me if only a little worse for wear. "Get him out of here. You gotta go." Sam said. I looked at Brian and Danny telling them the same thing.

Danny and Brian left and Sam goes back to shinning the light down the shaft. "Where's Dean?" I asked. Sam looked at me wondering the same thing. We then hear a gun shot and decided to climb down to him. "Dean are you okay?" I ask. "Yeah turns our Ms. Crazy had a brother, had to shot him." Dean replies. Dean, Sam, and I climb out of the shaft. We then head toward the front door so we can make sure everyone else is okay. When we walk out the door we see the girl's body. I sighed and shook my head. I had really hoped we could get her some help, once the others were safe of course.

Dean jacked up the car so he could replace the tires on the Impala. Sam walked over to me knowing I was upset. "Hey look I know your upset about the kids dying, but we didn't have a choice they were attacking Dean and the others had to defend themselves." Sam said before hugging me. I leaned my head into his chest and wrapped my arms around his stomach loosely. I knew he was right, that didn't make me feel any less sorry for the kids however. I didn't say anything, just stood there enjoying Sam's warmth. Dean soon let the jack down on the car. Sam let go of me and walked over to the car. He grabbed Dean's duffel and threw it in the backseat so Dean could put the jack and stuff back up. I stood there with my hands in my pockets, as Brian and Susan walk over to us.

"Thanks for the head start." Dean said. Brian and Susan were going to let us leave before calling the police. "Why doesn't it surprise me you guys don't like the police?" Brian asked. "It's part of our charm." I told him trying to smile. "It's sort of a mutual-appreciation thing, really." Sam replied. Dean then shook hands with Brian while I gave Susan a quick hug. "Well, thank you." Brian said. For once getting thanked was not something I was happy about. "Thank you," Susan told us. I really wish they would stop that. Yes, I was glad that they were safe and that no more of their family had died, but two feral kids raised by a monster had to die for that to happen. The whole situation was messed up and I didn't feel we deserved to be thanked for it. "You okay?" Dean asked. "No, we're the opposite of okay, but we're together." Susan replied as Brian grabbed her hand. I knew that feeling and nodded grabbing Sam's hand. "Thanks," Susan says one last time. Dean nodded and then we all got in the Impala.

While we headed down the road Dean stopped and got us food. I was grateful because I was starving. Dean pulled over so we could get out and enjoy our food. Sam walked over to Dean's side of the car with the food as I got out of the backseat on Dean's side. Sam handed me a burger and I unwrapped it. Dean had done the same, but then wrapped his back up. I was a little curious as to the upset and understanding coming from Dean. I lowered my burger not taking a bite more concerned with Dean than my food. "You okay?" Sam asked. "Seriously Dean what's up?" I asked sitting my burger on the hood. "You know, I felt for those sons of bitches back there. Lifelong torture turns you into something like that." Dean replied.

I knew exactly where this conversation was headed. I felt Dean's sorrow, self-loathing, and anger well up inside him. "You were in hell, Dean. Look, maybe you did what you did there, but you're not them. They were barely human." Sam told him. While Sam was right I still felt sorry for those kids and Dean. "Yeah, you're right. I wasn't like them. I was worse. They were animals, Sam, defending territory. Me? I did it for the sheer pleasure." Dean told him. That one really caught me off guard. Although, it made sense, after being tortured and torturing yourself you eventually become a demon yourself. Was that what Dean was heading toward before the angels saved him? "What?" Sam asked. "I enjoyed it, Sam. They took me off the rack, and I tortured souls, and I liked it. All those years, all that pain. Finally getting to deal some out yourself. I didn't care who they put in front of me. Because that pain I felt, it just slipped away. No matter how many people I save, I can't change that. I can't fill this hole. Not ever." Dean replied.

I shook my head and hugged him before replying, "You listen here Dean Winchester, you are not the monster you think you are. You did what you had to, to survive and yes you may have enjoyed it, but those souls were in hell not heaven so it isn't like they didn't belong down there okay? You have Sam and me, and you didn't deserve to be down there or go through all the shit you have, but with time and us I promise you that hole you think won't be filled, will be." Dean hugged me back and whispered, "I hope your right." I could tell Sam was glad I was there for them. He hadn't known what to say to his brother, but he was grateful I stepped up and said something.

 

After hunting for a month straight and having to kill two children who were forced to become monsters to survive, I was tired beyond belief. I knew Dean had been running from his confession the previous month, but now it made more sense; he was trying to atone for the awful things he had done and enjoyed. While it wasn't his fault he became what he did, nothing I said would convince him otherwise. I felt sorry for Dean and wished there was more I could do to help him, but there was nothing I could do. We were heading down the road looking for a motel to stay in so we could get some rest. I had told Dean that I understood his incessant need to hunt, but it was going to get us killed due to lack of sleep. He finally relented and agreed to take a few days and let us rest.

"Hey Dean up there on the right a motel 6," Sam pointed out. I smiled and said, "They'll leave the light on for us." I couldn't help it; I hoped cracking a joke would ease the tension we all felt. "Haha smartass we want the light out if we're going to sleep." Dean replied. I stuck my tongue out at him and blew a raspberry. Sam chuckled at my childish antics knowing what it was I was trying to do. Dean pulled into the motel's parking lot and went in to get us a couple of rooms. I didn't really like leaving Dean alone, but he felt Sam and I should have our own room in case we wanted to "bump uglies" and I had no real argument after that.

I sat in the car my head lend against the front seat waiting on Dean. I was so exhausted I probably wouldn't even change clothes. When Dean returned he handed us a key to the room next to his. "They're connected so it's almost like we're in the same room." Dean told us. That makes me feel a little better about not sharing a room. I took the room key so that Sam could get our bags. I opened the door looked at the queen sized bed and let out a sigh of relief. "I could sleep for days." I told Sam as I took off my shoes. He closed the door behind us and I slid my jeans down my legs and took my bra off before climbing into the bed. It was as comfortable as it looked; considering I'd mostly been sleeping in the Impala it was pretty comfy. Sam chuckled and got into bed beside me. I cuddled up to his side and was asleep in minutes.

I woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee. While it was the coffee in the hotel room I was still grateful for it. "Thank you Sam," I said grabbing my cup. Sam smiled at me and replied, "Anything for you babe." I laughed at how corny he sounded. While Sam was always sweet he only got corny when he wanted to see me laugh. "So did you sleep good?" I asked. Sam took a sip of his coffee and nodded. "Yeah it was nice being in a bed and not in the backseat of the Impala. Plus it's much easier to cuddle with you in a real bed. I missed doing that." Sam told me. It was true we had been sleeping in a regular bed together off and on before the month long hunting trip that wouldn't let us sleep more than an hour or two at a time; we both had missed regular beds and showering somewhere that wasn't a truck stop.

"Well I'm going to wash the road funk off assuming you haven't why don't you join me?" I asked Sam as I walked toward the bathroom taking my shirt and boy-short underwear off. Sam smirked like he always did when I got his motor humming. He was undressed and in the bathroom with me in seconds. I adjusted the water temperature as he held my hips and trailed kisses up my back. Once the water was ready I leaned into Sam allowing him to massage my breast before pulling away and getting in the shower. I stood under the spray enjoying the hot water cascading down my body. My hair was wet enough to wash so Sam grabbed the shampoo and squirted it into his hand.

I stepped out from under the water and he began rubbing the shampoo into my scalp making me let out a moan. It felt so good having his hands run through my hair massaging my scalp. When he stopped I let out a whine, but stepped back under the water to rinse my hair out. While I was rinsing my hair Sam had got a wash cloth wet and soapy so he could wash me off. He started out slow rubbing my neck and shoulders before tracing my collarbones, washing my arms and moving onto my chest. He took his time washing my breast gently squeezing my nipples through the cloth. My breath picked up as my arousal went up. I didn't know how Sam was going so slow it was like torture having his hands on me, but doing nothing. He washed my belly, and then started down my left leg. Sam washed all the way down avoiding my inner thigh teasing me even more. He washed my foot and the started on the other leg at my foot first. I was looking down at him the entire time and could see he was just as aroused as I was.

Once he got to the top he turned me around and washed my back. When he got to my butt he took his time washing each cheek. I let out a moan at how sensual it all felt. I was enjoying the slow torture he was giving me knowing it would be worth it in the end. When Sam was done he turned me back around and washed my inner thighs slowly moving toward my sex. When he began to wash me there the roughness of the cloth felt amazing against my clit. Sam stood up once he was done and kissed me pushing me under the water so that the soap could rinse off. I wrapped my arms around him and moaned into the kiss. Sam pulled away and I began washing him using the same slow tortuous moves that he had used on me.

When he was rinsed off I took his cock in my mouth and swirled my tongue around. He leaned his head against the shower wall and groaned. I continued to suck and lick his cock for a few minutes before he grabbed me and pulled me up giving me a kiss. I wrapped my arms and legs around him and he pushed me into the wall so he could have better leverage. Sam slid his cock into my sex and I let out a sigh having missed the feeling. We had only had the chance to have a quickie one time while on the road and because we had waited so long our arousal was through the roof. "God I've missed this." I said as he started slowly moving in and out of me.

Sam was kissing my neck and said, "Me to, you feel so amazing." He continued thrusting slowly so we could take the time to enjoy it. He began kissing me again and I dug my nails into his back slightly at the pleasure I felt. I could feel my orgasm beginning to build in the pit of my stomach. The heat and tension I felt was growing stronger. The angle Sam had me at allowed him to rub against my clit with every thrust he made. I soon came undone feeling the tension release and the warmth spread through my body. When I began to come down from my orgasm Sam picked up the speed and hardness of his thrusts. I moaned into his mouth loving the feel of his tongue battling mine for dominance while his cock slammed into me again and again. He balanced one hand against the wall so that he could use the other to flick and roll my nipple causing me even more pleasure. I held on tight to his shoulders as his thrust became erratic. I was close to orgasm again and I could tell he was too. I pulled him closer and whispered in his ear, "Cum for me Sam." It was his and my undoing. After we came down and caught our breaths he released me so I was standing on my own.

Sam got out and went to our duffle bags while I stayed in the bathroom and dried off. He brought me a pair of jeans with a rip at the knee that happened during a hunt, a black Metallica tank top and flannel with clean under garments. It was a miracle he had even found any sense we had only done laundry maybe once or twice in the past month. Sam and I were dressed so we walked out of the bathroom door as Dean walked in the door connecting our rooms. "Umm I brought food." Dean said looking between us. I took the bacon and egg biscuit he handed me telling him thanks. "So did you two enjoy your shower together?" Dean asked. He was such a goofball sometimes and also a little pervy. But hey that was what made Dean who he was. "Wouldn't you like to know?" I replied with a smirk. "Well yeah I mean a girl like you is way out of Sam's league. I gotta know what it is that he does to keep you around." Dean joked. "Haha very funny Dean." Sam replied.

I was glad we finally had a moment to sit down relax and not worry about a hunt. Dean had run us all to death in his quest for atonement and I for one was happy to sit here and eat my food in peace. I could tell Sam was glad as well. We all needed the rest we had been running on fumes. Even Dean hadn't had nightmares the night before because he was so exhausted. This little pit stop is what all of us needed to recharge our batteries. Sam, Dean, and I spent the whole day together just talking and joking not worrying about finding a hunt. We went out to eat that night and enjoyed a nice quiet dinner for the first time in a long time. When we got back to our rooms Sam and I made love again before going to sleep. I knew the day after tomorrow we would be back to hunting, but being able to sleep in a regular bed for three nights and actually relax for a couple days made me okay with it.


	15. Bloody Magicians

Sam and I were feeling much better after getting a few days rest. I was so glad we had convinced Dean to take a break. We had all been running on fumes and I wasn't sure how much more we could take before it got one of us, if not all, killed. I understood why Dean wanted to hunt so much, but it wasn't healthy and running wasn't going to make it better. Honestly I think the short break we took made him realize just how much running was hurting instead of helping. Of course our break couldn't last that long considering how many things there were to hunt. That is how we found ourselves in the same town as a bunch of magicians.

Dean, Sam and I were walking down the street. There was a murder during a magic show and it sounded like our kind of gig. However I wasn't that comfortable being around people who made money tricking people. Sure I liked magic tricks before I found out about the things that go bump in the night; now I knew I hated the fake magic junk. I felt sorry for the people who honestly thought this stuff was real, but better to be in the dark then living the lives we live. As we were walking we could see someone doing tricks for an audience. "This, this isn't a trick, okay? I, I, I don't do tricks. This is a demonstration—" he says as we approach. We had our suits on since we were working a case but I really didn't like the thing. "—about demons and angels—" he looks at the crowd "—love and lust—" the magician continued.

I looked at Dean and Sam with a raised eyebrow. This guy couldn't be serious, could he? "What a douchebag" Dean said. I let out a noise letting him know I agree. "All that stuff mixed up in my head." The magician informed the crowd. "That's Jeb Dexter," Sam said. When Sam said the guy's name, I furrowed my brows in confusion. "I don't even want to know how you know that," Dean said. I on the other hand was very curious as to how Sam knew this. "He's famous kind of," Sam explains. "Really?" I question while watching Jeb "—no matter how messed up this gets don't touch me okay?—"he says. "For what douchebaggery?" Dean asked. I shook my head at how many people were actually paying attention to this guy. "For your own safety." Jeb finally stops talking.

Jeb exhales, shaking his head, then imitates something like a seizure. "Is this guy for real right now?" I asked as I watched this weird display. With one hand he grabs for the cards in his other hand and scatters them, flinging them in the direction of the window behind him. "Go back to hell demon," He yells. The card that sticks to the window is the ace of diamonds. Jeb drags his hand over the card to show that it's on the far side of the glass. "Is this your card?" he asks the crowd and they applauded. "You've got to be kidding me. A fake demon possession?" Dean asked. "It would seem like it Dean and so I officially agree with you on the whole famous for douchebaggery thing. That was just ridiculous and I feel for the people who believe it." I tell the boys.

Dean had started to walk away, so Sam and I followed with his arm around my shoulders and mine around his back. "I can't believe people actually fall for that crap." Dean said. "Well they do unfortunately." I tell him. "It's not all crap." Sam says. I look up at him confused. "What part of that was not a steaming pile of BS?" Dean asked. "I have to agree Sammy. The guy faked a demon possession while we actually have to deal with them." I say. Sam looked at Dean and then down at me. "Okay, that was crap, but that's not all magicians." Sam says. "I know that but I really dislike the ones that are like that." I reply. Sam smiles at me glad I understand what he's saying. I smiled back glad I had made him happy. "I dislike them too, gives others a bad name. It takes skill." Sam continues his explanation to Dean. "Oh, right, right, I forgot. You were actually into this stuff, weren't you?" Dean asked. I looked over at him my eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Wait really? How into it was he?" I asked really wanting to know. I could feel Sam's slight embarrassment, but I really wanted to know. "He was pretty into it. I mean, you had, you had, like a deck of cards and a wand." Dean answered. "Dude, I was thirteen. It was a phase." Sam said. I smiled up at him. "Please tell me you still have the wand." I said. They both looked at me funny. "To play naughty student and professor." I explained while laughing. Dean let out a slight laugh while Sam just looked at me like 'really now'.

I couldn't help myself. The moment was there and I took it. I had said it to get a laugh out of the boys because the moment needed a laugh. Plus seeing Sam blush was super cute. However if we actually did have the time to do a little Harry Potter role-play I wouldn't complain. It wasn't that often that we got a break to spend time together alone. Since the first time we had been together, we had made love a handful of times if that and this included our three day break a few days ago. Of course now that we weren't chasing cases back-to-back, maybe Sam and I could spend a little more time together. Yes, hunting is important I'm not saying it isn't. I am however, saying that most hunters don't get what Sam and I have found, and it should be cherished as long as we do have it.

"Just—it bugs me. You know, playing at demons and, and magic, when the real thing will kill you bloody," Dean tells us getting back to reason we are here. "Like a guy who drops dead of ten stab wounds without a single tear in his shirt?" Sam asks. I nod agreeing with that statement, because let's be honest that's just creepy. "That's what I'm talking about." Dean said.

We had made it to the hotel where our victim had been staying before his untimely demise. I looked around his room as his assistant was packing up stuff. I turned toward her as she tossed a bunch of metal rings into a trunk that was almost fully packed. She then turned toward us. "So did your boss have any enemies that you know of?" Dean asked. "Vance had plenty of enemies," the assistant replied as she leans down and grabs the end of a series of tied-together handkerchiefs. I raised my eyebrows surprised; that wasn't the answer we normally got. "How so?" Sam asked. "He would steal from other magicians. All the time." She replied. Well that's just plan rude, you should ask to use something not steal it. "What would he steal?" Sam asked. As if that really matters, point is guy was a bloody thief. "Stage effects, close-up techniques, anything he could get his hands on." She told us. Dang, as much as I hate to say it, sounds almost like the guy had it coming. "Is that enough to get him killed?" Dean asked. I was about to say something, but the assistant beat me to it. "These guys take this stuff pretty seriously," She said. I looked over at Dean. "I know this is a little different situation, but where I'm from if you got caught stealing, you got shot. So if they take it as serious as she says it's possible." I told Dean.

He nodded his head letting me know he had heard me. We looked back to the assistant as she picked up a cloth that was covering a white rabbit. I smiled at how cute he was; after all I'm an animal lover. "There you are," she said picking him up and petting him. "Did you find anything weird in Vance's stuff? Well, weirder?" Dean asks. It was a good question cause a lot of the stuff he owned was already kind of weird. "Matter of fact, I did," she answered. Not sure that's a good thing or bad thing; hopefully it helps us find our bad guy. She puts the bunny in a bag and pulls out a Rider-Waite tarot card: the Ten of Swords. The image on the card is of ten swords sticking out of a man's back. That sure is pretty ominous, considering how Vance was found. "I'm guessing this didn't belong to Vance." Sam said. I looked over at him for a moment and said lowly so only he could hear, "Kinda creepy if ya ask me. Wonder if it was a threat or how he was killed?" Sam looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. "He hated card tricks. Never wanted them around. Let alone in his precious cape," the assistant informed us. She then handed the card to Sam. He looked it over, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

Now that we had a clue it was time to go question some people. Sam, Dean and I went to the theater all the magicians were performing in. There's a sign up that reads The Incredible Jay over the Table of Death. Jeb Dexter is on the phone nearby. I rolled my eyes seeing that prick again. "It's a lame gig. I'm in a fleabag hotel doing this man-of-the-people crap, and freaking Angel's in Vegas doing Cirque du Soleil! That should have been mine," Jeb says. I glance at him with a 'you really think so' look. That guy was so full of himself and it really was sickening. Jeb sat down at a table and I spotted the guy we were looking for at an adjacent table. I nudge Dean to point him out and we walk over. "All right, boys, get it in gear, I don't got all day." Jeb tells his cameraman and microphone guy.

Once we reach the table Dean crouches down behind them. I stay standing considering how short I am. "You Vernon Haskell?" Dean asks. "Who's asking?" replies Vernon. I look at him, but don't say anything just yet. "Federal agent Ulrich. And this is my partner agent Mikaelson." Dean replies showing his badge as I show mine. "Looking into the death of Patrick Vance." Dean tells him. He doesn't seem to be paying attention however. Instead he is watching Jeb who is sitting across from Jay as they record a show. "I'm Jeb Dexter. This is Devil Twist. We're chilling at the International Magicians' Convention, which is a dope chance to tip my hat to the wicked cats who came before me. Smoking hot effect last night, Jim" Jeb says. Seriously, at least try and get the person you're talking to name right. That guy was starting to get on my last nerve and I wasn't one to anger easily. "Jay," he told him. "Huh," Jeb replied actually confused. He was way to self-absorbed, it was kind of sickening. "My name is Jay," he replied. "Yeah, whatever. We can loop it later." Jeb told him.

"What an ass," I said at them same time Vernon said, "What a douchebag." I smiled at the fact we all seemed to agree on something. "Couldn't agree more. Is, uh this familiar to you?" Dean asked pulling out the tarot card we had gotten earlier. "Should it be?" Vernon asked genuinely confused. I knew he wasn't our guy. "Well, I heard that you used tarot cards in your act," Dean replied. "My act?" Vernon questioned before laughing. I was wondering why he was laughing. Did he not consider what he did an act? Or was it something else? I looked over at Dean and he just shrugged his shoulders. "That was a long time ago. I haven't touched a deck in years, you know." Vernon said holding up his shaking hand. I let out a sigh, but I hoped this wasn't a complete bust, after all he may know something. "Do you know someone that might use them now?" Dean asked. I looked at Vernon hopeful.

"Any information is helpful." I tell him. He thinks for a second before replying, "Well, there was a guy down on Bleeker Street" I smiled glad that we had managed to get some kind of information. "Oh, yeah. He, he peddles that kind of specialty stuff." Charlie the other man at the table said. "Did he have a problem with Vance?" Dean asked. Why he asked the question I don't know; Vance seemed to have a problem with everyone. "Matter of fact, Vance crossed him about a year ago. Probably cost him fifty grand in royalties." Vernon said and Charlie nodded. I let out a low whistle. "That's a pretty penny. Enough to get someone killed." I whispered to Dean. "You know the exact address?" Dean asked. If someone had cost me that much money I'd be pissed enough to hurt someone so this seemed like a good lead. "Four twenty-six Bleeker." Vernon told us. "Ask for Chief," Charlie added. Odd name for a guy, but whatever floats your boat I guess. "Chief. Thank you." Dean replies. We then stand up so we can head on our way.

Dean and I walked down the street, toward where Charlie and Vernon told us to go. I wanted to be with Sam, but I didn't mind being with Dean. We got along great; he was like the brother I always wanted growing up. I was happy that I had found Bobby and the boys and they helped me to move on. We continued to walk until we came upon a neon sign that read 426. I looked at Dean with a raised brow. "Why is it neon?" I asked. Dean shrugged his shoulders and knocked on the bars on the door. The chain-link door opened and revealed a young man. I was still wondering about the neon sign and the door so I didn't notice him eyeing Dean. "We're, uh, here to see Chief." Dean tells him. I then looked at the young man. He raised his eyebrows, but opened the barred door to let us in.

I was really becoming curious about the place we were walking into. Dean walked down the stairs following the young man and I followed behind. "Stay here. Don't touch anything," the young man tells us. Why on earth would we want to touch anything? We came to see a guy and ask some questions not mess with your stuff. The young man left so Dean and I looked around. There's graffiti on the walls and the bass line of music is audible and the emotions I could feel were raw and sexual. This place was really starting to freak me out and I'm pretty sure Charlie and Vernon were trying to pull one over on Dean. I was not happy about this turn of events, but before I could say anything a door opened beside us. Dean turned toward it and I looked at him before looking at the door. A big man came through the door who I assumed was Chief. He was wearing all leather and carrying a flogger, which he slaps into his other hand a couple times. I let out a groan now knowing exactly why I was feeling the sexual tension and almost animalistic urges. We were in a gay BDSM sex club. This was not how I expected my night to turn out and to say I was upset was an understatement.

"You are really gonna get it tonight, big boy. And I'm guessing you like to watch little lady," Chief said. My eyebrows went up in surprise and I was at a loss for words. "There's been a misunderstanding. I, uh, think I've been had." Dean replied. I looked at him and then Chief then back to Dean and cocked my head slightly. I wasn't sure whether I should laugh, scream, or be mad. I can honestly say I had never been in a situation this weird before. "Oh, you ain't been had till you been had by the Chief," he told him. Dean frowned at this and looked at me. "Oh, and before we get started, what's your safe-word?" Chief asked and Dean swallowed. I looked over at Chief and say, "Listen he doesn't want to be had by you okay? And there is definitely no safeword" Chief smiled at me thinking I was just nervous. "It's okay sweetheart I'm not gonna hurt your man too bad," He told me. It was now my turn to frown. Dean wasn't my man; he was like an older brother.

The following morning we met up with Sam at the theater entrance. Last night was a mess and I really didn't want to think about it ever again. "Find anything interesting?" Dean asked. Sam looked at us and replied, "What? Uh, no. You?" I just shook my head. "Nothing I want to talk about, or think about, ever again." Dean told him. I could feel Sam's curiosity as he looked at me. "Seriously Sam lets not talk about it," I told him. Normally I wouldn't keep things from him, but last night was just weird and creepy. I felt a shiver run down my spine just mentioning that I didn't want to talk about it. I honestly have no clue why Charlie and Vernon would send us there. Dean I could kind of see as a joke, but I was this tiny innocent looking girl (for the most part) so why did I deserve the prank?

Charlie and Vernon were standing together. "He's crazy, and you know it," Vernon said. "He says he can do it." Charlie replied. I could vaguely hear their conversation, but what got me was the worry coming from Vernon. "Did you even try to talk him out of it?" Vernon asked. Now I was curious as to who and what they were talking about. "Till I was blue in the face. But I tell you, Vernon, there was...there was something in his eyes." Charlie told him. "'In his eyes'? You're both nuts." Vernon said. That was when we approached them. "The Chief, huh?" Dean asked raising his eyebrows. I just gave them both an evil look. "What's the matter? Chief not your type?" Charlie asked, smirking. I let out a low growl and Sam looked at me in confusion. I didn't want to talk about what happened so I just mouthed 'Gay BDSM sex club' to Sam. He frowned and nodded his head now understanding why Dean and I didn't want to talk about last night.

Dean smirked back at Charlie. "You know, I could have you both arrested for obstruction of justice." Dean told him. "How? You're no Fed" Vernon replied. I looked at them with a raised brow. "We con people for a living, son. Takes more than a fake badge to get past us." Charlie added on. Well that explains why they sent us to see Chief; payback for trying to pull one over on them. I still wasn't happy about it though. "You got us. Yeah, we...we are actually...aspiring magicians," Dean told them. Well if that's how they want to play it then I guess I'll go along. "Yeah, we...we came to the convention 'cause we thought we could learn something." Sam explained. I can't believe they are going with this, but it is more believable than the Fed act since this guys saw through that. "Yeah, get some ideas for our new show." Dean said.

"Ooh, what kind of show?" Vernon asked seeming genuinely interested. "Well, it's...it's a..." Dean started. "It's a brother act." Sam finished since Dean couldn't seem to articulate anything. I stood there smiling not saying anything for the moment. "Yeah. Yeah, you know, with the rings and doves and...rings." Dean told them. Vernon and Charlie looked over at me. "And what's your part in the show?" they asked. "Well I'm his girlfriend—" I pointed to Sam "—And what's a magic show without a lovely assistant?" I replied popping my hip out with one hand on it the other in the air like I was showing something off. I felt so dumb doing this, but they seemed to buy it. Dean and Sam were amused by me, I could feel it, but they didn't say anything. "You want to learn something? Stick around." Charlie told us. We all sat down and looked at the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen, what you're about to witness is a feat so daring, So dangerous, even the great Houdini dared not attempt it. I give to you...The executioner!" Jay exclaimed. I could feel his and the crowd's excitement, his friends worry and intrigue, Dean and Sam's mixed emotions. I had a feeling something bad was going to happen tonight; I just wasn't sure what it was.


	16. Wait...What? He's the Bad Guy

Sam, Dean, and I sat there watching Jay as he began to explain his trick. He was standing up there with a noose around his neck wearing a straight-jacket. I was terrified I was going to watch an innocent man unintentionally commit suicide. "Now, sir, as you can see, this jacket is the real article. Thank you, sir. You may take your seat. Now, I will have one minute -- 60 seconds --To escape certain death. Let's see if I can do it." He said dismissing the man who was helping him. I looked over at Sam worried and I could feel that I wasn't the only one, Dean and Sam were too. From what I could understand Jay had a minute to get himself loose from the straight-jacket or when the timer struck zero he would fall through the platform and be hung. "Sam, I don't like this. I'm not sure he's gonna make it." I said. He wrapped his arm around me and rubbed my arm in a comforting manner.

The curtain closed and we all watched as Jay struggled to get out of the straight-jacket before being hung. I always thought magic shows were supposed to be fun and entertaining, this was completely nerve-racking and I didn't really want to watch it. However it was like a horrible car wreck you just can't seem to look away. "I don't think he's going to make it," Dean said. I grabbed Sam's hand terrified for Jay. Why was he doing such a deadly trick in the first place? Sam squeezed my hand trying to comfort me. Next thing we know Jay steps out from behind the curtain perfectly fine and I release a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Oh! That was amazing! That was freakin' amazing!" Dean exclaims. While Jay surviving was pretty amazing, I was still confused because it looked like he hadn't made it. "That was...not humanly possible." Sam said voicing my own thoughts.

We returned to our hotel room after the show to do some research. Sam was on his laptop and I was on mine. Dean sat to the side drinking a beer waiting to see if we found anything. Sam spoke up before I had the chance, "Looks like this guy Jay was a pretty big deal in the '70s." Dean looked at him a little confused, "Which in magician land means what, exactly?" he asked. I smiled at him and the fact he really didn't know anything about this stuff. "Big enough to play radio city music hall." Sam answered. "Which is pretty cool if ya ask me." I said. Sam nodded his agreement and sent me a small smile. "What got him stuck in their 'where are they now' File?" Dean asked. I looked at him with a raised brow. "That's one way of putting it I guess." I said and Dean gave a small chuckle in return. "He got old," Sam told us. It's sad to think that because he got old people didn't want to watch Jay as much. I personally feel that if he was a good magician his age shouldn't matter.

"Okay, so maybe incredible Jay is using real magic to stage a comeback." Dean said. It would make sense considering Jay was starting to get more attention. "It's possible. Some kind of spell that works a death transference." Sam replied. I sighed and shook my head. "While the whole thing is awful it's also kind of sad." I said. The boys both looked at me completely confused. "What do ya mean babe?" Sam asked. "I just mean I find it sad that Jay felt so desperate he started killing people. He was no longer relevant and so he probably became broke and in a last ditch effort to be famous again he cast a spell. I almost feel sorry for him." I explained and it was the honest truth. "Alright say that's true. How does the tarot card mix into it?" Dean asked. "I don't know." Sam replied. I wasn't sure on how the card played into it either.

"Man...hope I die before I get old. Whole thing seems brutal, don't it?" Dean asked. I was surprised at how serious he was and a little confused. "You think we will?" Sam asked. Being hunters it is a great possibility we would die before we got old. "What?" Dean asked. I'm confused on how he didn't understand what Sam meant. "Die before we get old." Sam said. I was going to say something, but Dean beat me to it. "Haven't we both already?" Dean asked. I had to frown at that. I knew being a hunter was a dangerous life, but for some reason the thought of the boys being permanently gone never crossed my mind. "You know what I mean, Dean. I mean, do you think we'll still be chasing demons when we're 60?" Sam asked. Sam was being serious, but Dean seemed to be getting a little aggravated. "No, I think we'll be dead...for good. What? You want to end up like -- Like travis? Huh?Or Gordon, maybe?" Dean asked. "There's Bobby," Sam replied. I looked at him like he was crazy. "Oh, yeah, there's a poster child for growing old gracefully." Dean replied.

"Maybe we'll be different, Dean." Sam said. I really hoped he was right. "What kind of Kool-Aid you drinking, man? Sammy, it ends bloody or sad. That's just the life," Dean told him. I hated that Dean could only see our lives ending in those two ways. "True Dean, but how often do hunters get what Sam and I have? Maybe we are different." I said and I hoped with everything in me that I was right. Sam reached over and grabbed my hand; I smiled up at him and squeezed his hand letting him know I truly believed what I said. "What if we could win?" Sam asked. His question threw me for a loop and now I was super confused as was Dean. "Win?" Dean asked. "If there was a way we could just...put an end to all of it." Sam explained. While the idea sounded wonderful I didn't think it was possible. "Is there something going on you're not telling us?" Dean asked. I really hoped Sam wasn't keeping secrets from us. That was the last thing we needed. "No," Sam replied, but I could feel he was holding something back and was nervous for some reason. "Sammy," Dean said giving him a stern look.

I squeezed his hand and gave him a look of my own. "No. Look, I'm just saying...I just wish there was a way we could...go after the source. That's all. Cut the head off the snake," Sam replied. While he was telling the truth I could tell he was holding something back. Was he worried about losing us? Is that why he was acting this way? I decided to let it go for now as we had more important things to worry about. "Well, the problem with the snake is that it has a thousand heads. Evil bitches just keep piling out of the Volkswagen." Dean said. I nodded in agreement and said, "Ain't that the damn truth, worse than freaking clowns." Sam looked at me when I mentioned clowns, but I just gave him an innocent look and he let it go. "Yeah. Guess you're right" Sam replied. "Why don't you go see if you can track down Jay? I'll see what I can dig up on this tarot card." Dean told us. I was going to go with Sam seeing as I went with Dean earlier in the case. It's nice to switch it up from time to time.

Sam and I met up with Dean in the hotel lobby. "Hey," Sam and I say. "Maid found Jeb hanging from the ceiling fan. Police think it was a suicide---" Dean pulled out another tarot card, this time it was the hanged man "---I beg to differ. Pulled a little sleight of hand myself" Dean says. Well that's certainly interesting. "On Dexter's body?" Sam asked. I looked at Dean as he replied, "Yeah, so I'm thinking if this spell is a death transference, then these cards work like black-Magic targets." That theory actually made a lot of sense. "Any connection between the victims?" Sam asked. "Jeb was a total douche bag to Jay yesterday," Dean replied. I looked at Dean like really man a douche? "More like complete and total asshat." I said. Dean chuckled why Sam gave me a look. I shrugged my shoulders in a way that said 'what ya know I'm right'

"What about the first vic? Uh, Vance?" Sam asked. Knowing the connections helped. "Asked around. Apparently, Vance was heckling Jay at the bar the day he was killed," Dean replied. Okay so I was starting to feel less sorry for the guy; clearly he was picking targets and this wasn't an accident in anyway. "Okay, so Jay sneaks a card into Vance's pocket, does the table of death..." Sam starts. "And Vance takes 10 swords to the chest." Dean finishes. I made a look of disgust. "Then Jay slips a noose and Jeb doesn't. Hell of a trick." Sam says. I shake my head and look at Dean then him. "That maybe true, but it's still gruesome and awful." I say. Dean gave gives me a small smile showing he agrees. "Yeah, I think it's time we had a little chat with Jay. Any luck tailing him?" Dean asked. I looked around not wanting to answer the question and kind of whistled to myself. "Sam?" Dean questioned. "He slipped me," he replied. "He's a 60-year-old," Dean replies wondering how we lost him. I point at Sam putting all the blame on him. I don't think Dean bought my innocent act though. "He's a magician," Sam says like that explains everything.

Sam, Dean, and I wait for Jay to show up and then follow him toward his room. "Up against the wall," Dean yells. Jay gets extremely flustered. "God, who are you? What do you want?" he asks. I can feel his fear and confusion and it confuses me. "NOW!" Dean exclaims. Jay leans against the wall and he is beyond scared at this point. "We know what you've been up to." Sam tells him. His confusion starts to come back. "You been working some real bad mojo to jump-start your act." Dean tells him. At this point I'm even more confused. "What? I don't know what you're talking about." Jay says. I try to get the guys attention, but it doesn't work. "Look, we know you put a spell on those tarot cards." Sam says. "Messing with real magic?" Dean asked. I looked at Jay and then the boys. "Guys I don't think it's him," I say. However the boys either didn't hear me or decided to ignore me. "'Real magic'? Come on, there's no such thing as real magic." Jay tells them. Now I know he isn't our guy; his emotions are scared, confused, and he thinks were crazy. If I didn't know the things I do, I would think we're crazy. "Oh is that so?" Dean asks. I look at him. "Seriously Dean I think he's telling the truth." I say. Once again I'm completely ignored by everyone which is starting to piss me off. "Yeah, believe me. I've been around this stuff my whole life. It's all just --It's -- It's illusions. It's tricks. It -- It's all fake," Jay tries to explain. "Jeb Dexter strung up --was that just an illusion?" Dean asks. Jay's fear jumps again this time mixed with worry. "What? Something happened to Jeb?" Jay asked. "He was found hanged in his room. Right after you slipped the noose last night." Sam tells him. Jay then becomes sad, even though Jeb was a jerk to him, he didn't want him dead.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Please...Just let me go." Jay pleads with them. The poor man honestly feared for his life. "Something's not right." Dean says. Well no duh Dean how long it take you to figure that one out? "Usually they're whipping some badass hoodoo at us by now." Sam says. At this point the boys have tied poor Jay to a chair in his hotel room. "Well guys if you would have listened to me, the girl who can feel emotions, a few minutes ago you would know he isn't the one performing the magic." I tell them pretty pissed off. "All right, so, if it's not him, who is it?" Sam asks. I had a pretty good idea on who it was, but I was mad at them for not listening to me so they can figure it out themselves. They looked over at me waiting for an answer. "Oh so now you want to pay attention to me," I said throwing my arms in the air.

"Even if Jay's not working the magic, he's still getting the reward. His shows are selling out," Dean said once he realized I wasn't going to help them out any. "All right. So, then, whoever it is, they're obviously in Jay's corner." Sam says. "All right, so we got Vernon and Charlie on the list. Anyone else?" Dean said. Jay had escaped while they were trying to come up with ideas, but I didn't say anything cause I knew he wasn't going to help them after they scared him half to death. "Uh...We could always ask him." Sam says. They turn and notice he is gone. "Guess we should have seen that one coming." Dean says. Sam looks at me disappointed which is almost enough to calm my anger. "Why didn't you say anything Cassidy?" Sam asks. "Well for one I didn't think you guys would pay attention since you didn't earlier and two he wouldn't have gave you any answers anyway." I tell him. Sam and Dean both look at me apologetically. "I'm sorry we should have listened to you. Forgive us?" Sam asks giving his famous puppy-dog eyes. Ugh like I can stay mad at him when he does that. "Yes you're forgiven now come on." I tell them. We walked down the lobby and I could feel Jay's anger. He comes up behind us as the cops enter the lobby. "That's them! Those are the two nut jobs that just broke into my room!" he yells. Shit, looks like the boys have got to run. Wonder why he didn't include me in this? The boys go to take off, but end up caught "Umm Jay if you don't mind me asking why didn't you include me?" I ask him. "Well I figured since you were trying to get them to stop you weren't involved in it." He explained. I left to go try and get the boys out leaving Jay behind not knowing I was definitely a part of it.

Later that night I was sitting in the police station waiting on the boys to get released. It seems that Jay had a change of heart and dropped the charges. Once we got back to the hotel Jay was waiting for us in the lobby. "Jay. Thanks for dropping the charges" Sam said. "You mind telling us why you did it?" Dean asks. I was curious as to why Jay had done it myself. "We have to talk," Jay said leading us toward the hotel bar. We all sit down and Jay begins to explain, "I was just a kid when we first met. All I knew was how to cheat at cards. Charlie got me out of more scrapes than I can count. Hell, I would have been dead by the age of 20 if it hadn't been for him.---" he sighed "---he was more than my friend. He was my brother" Jay is so upset and I feel even sorrier for him than I did before. "I'm sorry Jay," Sam said. I put my hand on his arm trying to offer my condolences. "Look, I should have listened to you guys when you told me that my show was killing people." Jay said. I sighed and shook my head. "You can't blame yourself Jay anyone would think we were crazy if they were in your shoes." I tell him honestly. "Well, you weren't the one pulling the trigger." Dean tells him trying to make him understand my point. "Yeah, but someone did, and I want to find out who did this to Charlie, so I'll do whatever you guys say. Just tell me what to do." Jay said feeling sad and angry.

"Jay, whoever's doing this...They like you. They're probably close to you. Did Charlie and Vernon get along?" Sam asked. I could tell Jay didn't even want to entertain the thought that it could be Vernon. "No. No, it's not Vernon." Jay told us. "I'm sorry but who else could it be?" I asked hoping he would give me someone else's name. "He's the only one that makes sense." Dean told him when he didn't answer me. "Charlie and Vernon were your family, Jay." Sam started. "And now Charlie's gone." Dean finished. I looked at Jay and felt so horrible for him. It was hard to lose the ones you love, but finding out one maybe a murderer I could only imagine how bad that hurt. "Yeah, but...they butted heads sometimes, but Vernon could never do something like this." Jay said. He honestly couldn't wrap his head around one of his best friends being a killer. "See, the thing about real magic is it's a whole lot like crack. People do surprising things once they get a taste of it." Dean tells him. Unfortunately he was right. "You better be damn sure about this. Vernon's all I got left." Jay told us.

We left the lobby and went to Vernon's room. Jay had called him to get him out so we could check the place. "Wow. It's like a...magic museum." Sam said looking around. "You must be in heaven. This guy doesn't travel light." Dean replied. I looked around pretty amazed myself and I was never big into magic shows. "This is pretty amazing," I said. "He's been on the road his whole life. Probably everything he owns is in this room." Sam told us. While being famous would be nice, never having a home was a little depressing. "Well now I'm kinda sad," I told him. Sam gave me a small smile while Dean shook his head. "Let's get started," Dean told us. I looked around the room hoping to find something proving Vernon's innocence. I wasn't sure if it was because I wanted to have faith in friendship or because I didn't want Jay to lose someone else. "I hope we don't find anything," I tell the boys. The both stop looking for clues and look at me. "What?" Dean asked. "Why it would mean the end of the case?" Sam asked. I looked at the ground and took a deep breath and let it out. "I just feel sorry for Jay. He only made a come back because people were dying, he lost his best friend, and if Vernon is the culprit he's going to lose the last person he has." I explained. Sam came over and gave me a hug which instantly made me feel better.

So far we hadn't found anything and I couldn't be more grateful. However, not finding anything meant the bad guy was still out there and had the chance to kill again. The thought of that didn't sit to well with me. "This is just a bunch of old-Timey magic stuff --None of it magic." Dean said. And he was completely right all we had found was fake magic crap, "No herbs, no candles, and no tarot cards. Looks like you get your wish Cassidy," Sam said smiling at me. I smiled back happy that Jay didn't have to lose someone else. "I'll be damned," Dean said. I looked over at him confused. "What?" Sam asked. Dean then held up a poster from years ago. As soon as we saw the poster we knew Charlie was the real culprit and headed to the theater.

"The three of us together -- Vital and alive...forever," Charlie said. Why would anyone want to live forever if it meant having to kill others? Don't get me wrong the thought of not having to die is an interesting one, but I wouldn't do it at the expense of others. "Not so fast! I ain't Guttenberg, and this ain't 'Cocoon.' Immortality. That's a neat trick." Dean said. I could the evil coming from Charlie and I don't know how I missed it earlier. Maybe I didn't have as good a handle on my powers as I thought. "It's not a trick. It's magic," Charlie said just as a noose dropped down around Dean's neck and lifted him up. Sam and I fired at Charlie but he caught them in his teeth. "Hey, bullet catch --Been working on that." He said and he honestly was amused with himself. "Get him," Dean said. "Let him go -- Now!" Sam yelled. I snarled at him in warning, I would not hesitate to drop him if he didn't let Dean go. "Just leave me and my friends alone. All right, I will give it up --The spells, the hexes. This is the last time. I promise." Charlie said. "Yeah right like we would trust you," I said when I felt how devious he was being. He grabbed me and pushed me on the table of death, but I wasn't hurt instead he clutched his stomach that was bleeding in the same spot I should have been. "Jay...You picked these strangers over me?" Charlie asked before he died. Sam ran over to me and hugged me full of relief. Dean had been released as well so Sam asked him, "You okay?" Dean nodded his head and replied, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm all right"

Later on we saw Jay in the bar. "Hey, Jay. We wanted to thank you for what you did yesterday." Dean told him. I looked at him and shook my head, sometimes Dean didn't think things through. "I killed my best friend yesterday, and you want to thank me?" Jay asked. "Listen Jay I'm so sorry about all this," I told him and he offered me a sad smile in return. "Where's Vernon?" Sam asked. I was wondering the same thing; I would have thought they would be mourning together. "Oh, he's gone. He said he didn't want to speak to me again after what I did to Charlie." Jay replied. His sadness seeped into my very bones making me feel as if I was the one who had suffered the loss. "Listen, Jay...you know Charlie was never gonna give up what he was doing. Ever. You did the right thing." Dean told him. While Dean was right that wasn't what Jay needed or wanted to hear. "Are you sure about that? You know, Charlie was like my brother. And now he's dead... because I did 'the right thing.' He offered me a gift, and I just threw it back in his face. So now I have to spend the rest of my life old and alone. What's so right about that?" Jay asked as he got up and started to walk away. I wish I could find the words to make him feel better, but I couldn't. "Jay...your cards." The bartender said. "Throw them away," he replied. This whole situation was heartbreaking. "Well, I don't know about you two, but...I could go for a beer." Dean said. "I could use a drink," I told him sitting down beside him. "I'm gonna take a walk." Sam told us. Something was going on with him and I really wanted to know what it was, but he wouldn't talk about it. Maybe what the angels had said to him or the talk earlier about things ending bloody had got to him. If only I had known then how wrong I was.


	17. Helping A Friend

Dean and I sat in the Impala waiting on Sam to come out of the hospital. He was better at getting people to talk, with his sweet puppy-dog eyes, than Dean and I were. “Hey Dean, do you think something’s up with Sam?” I asked. Ever since our last case something had felt different about him and it worried me. I had asked him, but he would brush it off saying everything was fine; he just was stressed about stopping Lilith. I didn’t buy it for a second, but no matter how many times I asked he wouldn’t change his answer. “Like what? Are your spidey-senses tingling?” Dean asked in return. I turned in the front seat so I was facing him. “Spidey ain’t got nothing on me. But yes, I feel something off, have ever since our last case ended. Except every time I ask he says it’s just stress about stopping Lilith. I don’t want to push and start an argument with all the crap we already have going on, but I’m worried about him. ” I explained. Dean looked over at me and I could see he was worried too. “I don’t know Cassidy. Maybe it’s his powers now that more seals have broken. Or maybe it is stress, our talk about dying really seemed to get to him.” Dean replied. I gave him a weak smile and said, “I certainly hope so.”   
I then noticed Sam approaching the car, so I climbed in the backseat. Sam opened the passenger door and got in. “So?” Dean asked. We were both waiting to find out if this was our kind of gig or not. “I think she's telling the truth. I mean, the way she talked about being there mentally but not physically -- kind of sounds like demonic possession to me.” Sam told us. He really did believe the girl, but was confused about something. “Kind of?” Dean asked. “She didn't see any black smoke or smell sulfur.” Sam explained. I got extremely confused after he said that. “Maybe it's not a demon. I mean, kids can be vicious.” Dean said. Kids can definitely be cruel. I learned that the hard way growing up. Funny enough those kids that picked on me growing up ended up with worse lives than I did and I hunt monsters for a living; paybacks a real bitch. “Dean has a point Sam. Remember what I told you about my high school experience?” I asked. He gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand resting near his shoulder. “I remember babe, but well, I mean, we're already here. Might as well check out the school.” He replied   
“Right. The school.” Dean said. He didn’t seem too thrilled about going to the school and it confused me. “What?” Sam asked him. “Truman High, home of the Bombers,” Dean replied and now I was even more confused. “What’s your point?” Sam asked. I looked at Dean and said, “Seriously what’s the deal with the school? I’ve never seen you so upset about checking out a case.” I asked. Dean let out a sigh and looked at me then Sam. “I mean, we went there, like... for a month a million years ago. Why are you so jazzed to go back?” Dean replied. Okay I can see why he wouldn’t want to return; after all I wouldn’t want to return to my old school. “I'm not. I just think it's worth looking into.” Sam told him. I nodded my head, it’s not like we had anything to lose. “I agree with Sam, we’re already here so might as well.” I said. Dean glanced at me and said, “Of course you would he’s your boyfriend---” I stuck my tongue out at him “----All right, well, what's our cover? FBI? Homeland Security? Swedish exchange students?” I looked at Sam waiting on his answer. “Don't worry. I got an idea.” Sam said. And for some reason I really didn’t like the sound of that. “Okay,” Dean answered. He then pulled out of the hospital parking lot and we drove off.  
We arrived at the school and Sam walks down the hall just as the bell rings. He is dressed as a janitor and pushing a janitor cart. I rush to a room dressed in a black pencil skirt, a blue silk sleeveless blouse and black pumps with a blue bow. I’m going in as a substitute English teacher. I loved English, this outfit on the other hand I hated. I stood in the classroom and smiled at the students. “Hi I’m Mrs. Stark. Today we are going to read a bit of The Hobbit and talk about what Tolkien was trying to say.” I told them. While there I watched the students closely for any signs of possession, but didn’t find any. I left the class to go join Sam and Dean in the gym.  
Dean was wearing red shorts, a white shirt, and had a headband on. Sam had already got his attention so he walked over to us. I chuckled and said, “Nice outfit,” He just scowled at me in return. “Having fun?” Sam asked. Dean smiled and replied, “The whistle makes me their God.” Well that’s certainly interesting. “Right. Nice shorts,” Sam tells him. He ignores the jab at his outfit. “Find anything?” he asks. Sam shakes his head. “I've been over the entire school twice. No sulfur.” Sam answered. “Yeah all my kids seemed fine. We read from The Hobbit and they enjoyed it and our discussion.” I told them. Dean chuckled, “So other than being nerds like you two nothing. No sulfur, no demon. No demon, no case.” Dean replied. Sam sighed slightly disappointed. “I don't know. Maybe I was wrong.” Sam said.   
I can see as to why he thought that was a bad thing; he wanted a reason for that girl to do what she did, a reason other than her being psycho and cruel. “Well, it happens to the best of us. I say we hit the road, huh? But after lunch -- it’s sloppy-joe day.” Dean tells him. I grab Sam’s hand and smile. “It’ll be okay,” I told him before a young boy goes running by. He’s holding his nose and says, “Oh.” I raise my eyebrows a little worried for the boy. “Well at least it was someone else this time,” I said. They both looked at me confused. I shrugged my shoulders and didn’t answer. It had happened to me while in high school, but I shook it off and kept playing. “Good hustle, Colby! Walk it off!” Dean yelled.  
Sam, Dean, and I walked down the hallway. There had been another incident, which Sam arrived during, so the school was having an assembly. “How's the nonviolence assembly going?” Sam asked. I looked at Dean as he answered, “Apparently, shoving a kid's arm into a Cuisinart is not a ‘healthy display of anger.’ So, the kid had ectoplasm leaking out his ear?” Dean asked. It turned out we had a case after all even though it wasn’t a demon. “Which only comes from a seriously pissed-off spirit. It's got to be ghost possession.” Sam replied. “Yeah, but that's pretty rare.” Dean said finding the whole situation odd. I was too, but at the same time I was glad the young girl Sam had talked to before wasn’t just vicious. “Yeah, but it happens. I mean, they get angry enough, they can take control of a person's body.” Sam said.  
“Well Sam at least we know you were right,” I told him with a smile. Sam smiled back, appreciating the fact I had, had faith in him. “All right, so, what, we got a ghost in the building?” Dean asked. It certainly seemed that way since there were no signs of a demon possession. “Yeah, but where? I mean, there's no EMF. Maybe we could find out who it is, at least. You know, check and see if somebody died bloody around here or something,” Sam said. And that was the thousand dollar question; no E.M.F usually meant no ghost, but ectoplasm normally meant ghost. This was going to take some time. “Way ahead of you. I had to break into the principal's office to get this. Oh, and FYI, three of the cheerleaders are legal. Guess which ones,” Dean said. Okay I take back what I said. “No why would I care Dean?” Sam asked. Dean looked at me then Sam and nodded his head saying, “Good point.”   
Dean unfolded a piece of paper which he had pulled from his pocket. “So, there was only one death on campus. It was a suicide back in '98. Some kid named Barry Cook. What?” Dean asked noticing the upset look on Sam’s face. I could feel the sadness coming from him so I grabbed his hand. He let out a sigh and asked, “I knew him. How did he die?” Knowing the victim always made things harder. “He slit his wrists in the first-floor girls' bathroom.” Dean told us. “That’s where---” Sam and I started. “---Right where the chick got swirleyed to death, exactly. So, what? This ghost is possessing nerds?” Dean finished for us. “Way to put it lightly Dean,” I told him. He gave me a ‘what’ look and shrugged his shoulders. “And using them to go after bullies, yeah.” Sam said answering Dean’s question.   
“Well, does that sound like Barry’s M.O.?” Dean asked. Sam looked at the ground and nodded. “Barry had a hard time.” Sam replied. I squeezed Sam’s hand trying to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault. “You were his friend while here Sam. You couldn’t have predicted what would happen after you left. I’m sure Barry was glad to have you as a friend, make his time here better if only for a short time. I know I would have been happy to have you as a friend.” I told Sam. He gave a smile showing how grateful he was. “Thanks babe I needed to hear that,” Sam replied. Dean made a face and said, “No chick flick moments,” I stuck my tongue out at him for the second time today. We left the school and got in the Impala ready to drive to the grave yard for a simple salt and burn.  
We all stood around Barry’s grave now that Sam, Dean and I had finished digging it up. Sam threw in the salt and fuel while Dean dropped in a lit match. “So long, Barry Cook,” Dean said. I smacked his arm and gave him a look. “What?” he said. I looked at Sam and then back to him. He nodded realizing what I was trying to say. I swear sometimes Dean has as much sense as a rock. We got back in the Impala and headed down the road. “You all right?” Dean asks. Glad he got what I was hinting at. “Barry was my friend. I just burned his bones.” Sam replied. He was so upset and still blamed himself even after what I told him. “Well, he's at peace now, Sam.” Dean tried to reassure him. Sam didn’t believe it though and it made me sad knowing how upset he was. “I mean, if Dad had let us stay just a little while longer, maybe I could have helped the kid, you know?” Sam tried to get Dean to understand.  
“You read the coroner's report same as me. Barry was on every anxiety drug and antidepressant known to man. School was hell for that kid. His parents had split up. He just wanted out. It was tragic, but it's not your fault. Plus it’s like Cassidy said you couldn’t have predicted what was going to happen. To tell you the truth, I'm glad we got out of that town. I hated that school.” Dean told Sam. He still didn’t believe it. “It wasn't all bad.” Sam told him. Dean glanced over at him and replied, “How can you say that after what happened to you?” Now I was curious as to what had happened. I looked between them as they seemed to be remembering the past. “Well what happened?” I asked. Sam looked at me and sighed.   
A young Sam and Dean sat on the school bleachers. You could tell Sam had gotten beat up by his dirty shirt and busted lip. “That kid's dead.” Dean said. Sam sighed and said, “Dean.” But his older brother wasn’t listening. “I'm gonna rip his lungs out!” Dean continued his rant. “It’s not a big deal,” Sam told him. And he honestly didn’t think it was after all he had helped a friend. “Not a big deal? Sammy, look at yourself. If Dad was here –“ Dean started but Sam interrupted “He’s not.” Dean looked at Sam. “Well, I am! And as soon I'm finished with that dick--” Dean once again began to rant. “Shut up, okay?! I don't need your help.” Sam once again interrupted. Dean looked at Sam knowing he was right. “That's right, you don't. You could have torn him apart. So why didn't you?” Dean asked.  
It was a good question; why would someone get beat up if they didn’t have to?  
“Because I don't want to be the freak for once, Dean. I want to be normal.” Sam tried to explain. Dean didn’t understand though. “So taking a beating -- that's normal?” Dean asked. Sam was done with the conversation so he asked, “Any word from Dad?” Dean sighed knowing he wasn’t getting anything else from Sam. “He called this morning, said he's going to be another week at least. We weren’t supposed to be here this long.” Dean replied. “At least you've got Amanda. She’s cool.” Sam told Dean. In return Dean got this weird look on his face. “Dude, she wants me to meet her parents. I don't do parents.” Dean said.  
Sam finished explaining to me the reason Dean had asked his question. “Dean I get you were pissed, but Sam helped prevent a friend from getting hurt. Not only that, but as tiny as he was back then he would have been called a freak if he had won the fight. So yeah getting beat up is kind of normal.” I told him. He looked at me in the mirror for a second then back to the road. “Yeah yeah I get it. Still don’t understand how Sam didn’t think that school was bad though.” Dean replied. I could understand that considering all the bullying and such that went on. However I could tell there was more to what happened back then because we were on our way back to the school. We pulled into the school sometime later. “We came back here so you could talk to a teacher?” Dean asked. I was a little confused myself, but then I remember him telling me a story about a teacher that told him to live life the way he wanted; that he didn’t have to go into the family business. “He’s a good guy,” Sam replied. Dean looked at him funny while I gave a nod knowing exactly why he wanted to talk to him. “Well, whatever. Go have your Robin Williams ‘O captain! My captain!’ moment. Just make it quick.” Dean told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the new chapter please comment and leave kudos. I love hearing from you guys about what you think.


	18. Bullies Suck

Sam, Dean, and I sat on the Impala enjoying a drink together. Apparently while in the school the ghost had attacked Sam so we burned his friend’s bones for nothing. I felt awful and so did Sam. “Trust me. This will help. That ghost is dead. I'm gonna rip its lungs out! Well, you know what I mean.” I smiled at how protective Dean was, it really was sweet. “It knew my name, Dean. My real name. We burned Barry’s bones. What the hell?” Sam asked. I bit my lip in thought and grabbed his hand. “We’ll figure it out Sam I promise.” I told him. He smiled at me grateful that I was there for him. “Well, maybe it wasn't Barry. Maybe we missed something. We just got to go back.” Dean said. He then picked up a file and began reading it. “No way. How did we not see this before?” Dean asked. Because sometimes things are easy to miss I thought to myself. “What?” Sam asked in return. “Check it out -- Look, Martha Dumptruck, Revenge of the Nerds, and Hello Kitty -- they rode the same bus,” Dean told us. I smacked his shoulder and gave him a pointed look. “Ow what was that for?” he asked me. “You didn’t have to call them names Dean.” I told him. He rolled his eyes, but knew I was right.   
“Okay, so maybe the bus is haunted.” Sam said ignoring our exchange. “Well, that would explain why there's no EMF at the school, but not the attacks. I mean, ghosts are tied to the places that they haunt. They can't just bail.” Dean replied. He was right too ghosts are tied to places or objects they can’t just bounce around whenever they want. “Unless this one can. Dean, there's lore about spirits possessing people and riding them for miles, then whenever they leave the body, they're bungeed back to their usual haunt. But until then, the ghosts can go wherever they want.” Sam explained. “So a spook just grabs a kid on the bus and walks right into Truman?” Dean asks. As much as I didn’t like it, it was the only explanation we had. “It’s possible,” Sam replied. Dean frowned and said, “Ghosts getting creative -- well, that's super.” I looked at him and said, “No it’s plain creepy.” Sam and Dean both nodded their agreement.  
Sam, Dean, and I were checking the bus. Dean was at the front, I was in the middle, and Sam was at the back. The E.M.F meter was going nuts. “Definitely ain't clean.” Sam said. I knew he meant the ghost, but I couldn’t stop myself from saying, “Well no duh Sam kids are messy.” I could hear Dean’s laugh while Sam just gave me a look. “Here, ghosty, ghosty, ghosty! Come out, come out, wherever you are!” Dean said. Although I doubted it was going to work. “Man, I don't get it. No one ever died on this bus, and it's not like there's a body hidden in here.” Sam said. But ghost didn’t always haunt where they died they can be tied to anything. “Yeah, but a flap of skin, a hair, I mean, hell, a hangnail -- something's got to be tying the ghost to this place. We just got to find it.” Dean said. “I hope it’s something a little less gross than skin,” I told them. “You and me both,” Sam said.   
Dean began looking through papers at the front of the bus. Hopefully something in them would give us a clue. “Got a new driving permit. Issued two weeks ago.” Dean informed us. “Just before the first attack.” Sam replied. Seems like we found something that could help us way to go Dean. “Yeah. Name of the bus driver is Dirk McGregor Sr., 39 North Central Avenue.” Dean said. “McGregor?” Sam asked. I could feel Sam’s confusion and worry. “What is it Sam?” I asked looking at him. “I knew his son.” Sam replied. And from Sam’s feelings and the look in his eyes I surmised that he was the bully. “Did you know everybody at this school?” Dean asked. I grabbed Sam’s hand letting him know I was there for him since he seemed to be remembering his time at the school again.  
We all got back in the Impala and headed to the McGregor house hoping to get some answers about our ghost. I looked around the living room once we were inside. “So, you were friends with Dirk?” Dirk Sr. asked. Sam looked at him and replied, “Yes, sir, in high school.” Dirk Sr. looked at Sam for a moment. “I don't recall Dirk having many friends at Truman. Here, sit. Sit down.” He said. Well maybe that’s because he was a bully. “When did, uh -- when did Dirk pass?” Dean asked. “He was 18.” Dirk Sr. replied. These poor kids never got to live life it was truly tragic. “What happened to him?” Sam asked. Dirk Sr. was so upset thinking about his son. “Well, there was, first, drinking, then drugs, and then too many drugs. And then he just slipped through my fingers. It was my fault. I should have seen it coming, you know? Dirk, he, uh -- he had his troubles.” Dirk Sr. answered.  
“What kind of troubles?” I asked genuinely curious. “School was never easy for Dirk. We didn't have much money, and, well, you know, kids -- they can be cruel. They picked on him” he told us. I looked at Sam confused. Hadn’t he fought this guy because he bullied Barry? “They picked on him?” Sam asked not understanding. “They called him poor and dirty and stupid. They even had a nickname for him -- Dirk the jerk. And after what happened to his mother, he…” Dirk Sr. started to explain. “His mother?” Sam interrupted. “Yeah, Jane, my wife. She died when Dirk was 13. Cancer. I was working three jobs, so it fell to Dirk to take care of her. And he was a great kid. He made sure Jane got her medicine. He helped her, cleaned up after her. But, you know, you -- you watch somebody die slow, waste away to nothing... it does things to a person. Horrible things.” Dirk Sr. explained. Sam suddenly felt horrible about what had happened between him and Dirk Jr. I squeezed his hand trying to tell him he had no way of knowing.  
I felt so sorry for Dirk Sr. and Jr. because losing a loved one is never easy and to do it as such young age. “I didn't know about his mother,” Sam said. “He -- he wouldn't talk about her, not even to me. Lot of anger in that boy.” Dirk Sr. told us. I gave him a sad smile. “I understand I lost both my parents right before I turned 18 and 9 months ago I lost my husband. The anger you feel changes you.” I told him. He gave me a small smile grateful someone understood. “Well, we'd really like to pay our respects, Mr. McGregor. Um, you mind telling us where Dirk is buried?” Dean asked. “Oh, he wasn't. I had him cremated.” Dirk Sr. told us and I groaned internally. “All of him?” Dean asked. I was surprised Dirk Sr. wasn’t creeped out by the question. “Well, I kept a lock of his hair.” He told us. Okay so that means he is the ghost. “Oh, that's -- that's nice. Where do you keep that?” Dean asked again. How is this guy not finding these questions weird? “On my bus, in my Bible” he told us.  
We set up a spike strip so we could stop the bus. The door opened and the bus driver stepped out of the bus with Dirk inside. Sam and I held our shotguns up and cocked them. “Winchester. Winchester’s girl? What are you gonna do, shoot me?” he asked. While we had him distracted Dean walked up behind him and wrapped him in rope. “Don't need to. That rope is soaked in salt water, Dirk. You're not going anywhere.” Sam told him. Dean looked inside the bus and addressed the kids, “All right, everybody stay where you are. You'll be okay.” The looked at him funny. “Aren't you the P.E. Teacher?” One of the kids asked. “Not really. I'm like ‘21 Jump Street.’ The bus driver sells pot. Yeah.” Dean says as way of explanation.  
He climbs on the bus to look for the hair. “It's not here!” Dean yells when he doesn’t find it. Damn it we have to burn it to get rid of Dirk. “Where is it?” Sam asked. Dirk just looked at him and said, “No way you'll ever find it.” Sam shoved his gun into Dirk’s chest. “Where is it!?” he yelled. I knew Sam getting mad wasn’t the answer. “Sam Winchester. Still a bully. You, you jocks... you popular kids... you always thought you were better than everybody else. And to you, I was just Dirk the jerk, right? Now you evil sons of bitches are gonna get what's coming to you.” Dirk told him. Then I thought maybe I could get through to him or at least make it so Sam could. “Look Dirk I was like you bullied mercilessly while in school because of my height, because I was a ‘nerd’ and because we didn’t have a whole lot of money. If Sam was a bad guy I wouldn’t be with him.” I told him.   
He seemed to be listening so Sam took over, “I'm not evil, Dirk. I'm not. And neither were you. Trust me. I've seen real evil. We were scared and miserable, and we took it out on each other -- us and everybody else. That's high school. But you suffer through that, and it gets better. I'm just sorry you didn't get a chance to see that... you or Barry.” Dirk was so upset after that. “Nothing is gonna get better for me. Not ever” Dirk told him before breaking out of the ropes. Sam and I fire our guns and his ghost flies back to the bus taking over one of the kids. The kid came up behind us throwing me into the bus almost knocking me out while he starts beating Sam up. Dean came off the bus and fires a shot, but misses. “Dean! Find the hair!” Sam yells at him. Dean walked over to the bus driver and began searching him. “Hey, buddy, this isn't what it looks like.” Dean tells him and if my head wasn’t killing me I would have laughed. Dean finally found the hair and burned it causing the student to fall on Sam. And he certainly wasn’t a small kid either. “Little help?” Sam asks from under the boy. I get up so I can help Sam. “He's giving you the full cowgirl.” Dean said while laughing.   
We went back to the school one last time so that Sam could finally talk to the teacher. I sat out in the car with Dean once again waiting on Sam. “So you’re senses still going off about Sam?” Dean asked. While on this case I could still feel something off about Sam, but it hadn’t been as strong. Maybe it was because he kept reminiscing about the past and wasn’t so focused on the now. “Yeah Dean, but it wasn’t as strong so maybe it is stress.” I replied. Dean gave me a small smile, “I wouldn’t worry about it then if it’s not as strong.” Dean told me. Before we could really continue our conversation Sam came out and we left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and leave Kudos if you're enjoying this


	19. Making Up Is The Best Part

The Impala rumbled down the road as my mind went back to our case from four days ago. We had been hunting a siren that was posing as a striper. I hadn’t enjoyed the case at all. The only way to kill the siren was with a bronze dagger dipped in the blood of someone under her spell. Unfortunately the blood samples from the victims had been stolen and we had no idea how we were gonna get what we needed. When we finally met back up with Dean he had been poisoned by the siren who was posing as an FBI agent. It had told Dean to attack Sam and he had and then the siren infected him too. I had tried to stop it from happening, but the siren grabbed me.   
“Well, I don't know when it happened. Maybe when I was in hell. Maybe when I was staring right at you. But the Sam I knew, he's gone,” Dean said. Sam got a pissed look and replied, “That so?” I wanted to stop the fight, but I wasn’t sure how. “And it's not the demon blood or the psychic crap. It's the little stuff. The lies. The secrets. Even Cassidy knows something’s up,” Dean told him. I wanted the arguing to stop, but now I was in the middle of it. “Oh, yeah? What secrets?” Sam asked. I knew something was up with Sam, but I didn’t think he was keeping secrets from me. “The phone calls to Ruby for one.” Dean said and I was instantly pissed. Why was Sam talking to that no good slut? Better yet why wasn’t he telling me? “So I need your say-so to make a phone call?” Sam asked.  
I looked at him seething, not able to form words. “That's the point. You're hiding things from me and your girlfriend. What else aren't you telling us?” Dean asked and I really wanted to know. I was pissed at the siren for making them fight, but at least I had finally got some truth from Sam. “None of your business.” Sam replied and it hurt me. We were supposed to tell each other everything, that’s what couples do. “See what I mean? We used to be in this together. We used to have each other's backs. And look at Cassidy she’s so upset she can’t talk,” Dean said. It was true I still hadn’t found the words to tell Sam how hurt I was. “OK, fine. You know why I didn't tell you about Ruby, and how we're hunting down Lilith? Because you're too weak to go after her, Dean. You're holding me back. I'm a better hunter than you are. Stronger, smarter. I can take out demons you're too scared to go near. And I didn’t tell Cassidy cause I knew she would want to help and I didn’t want her hurt because of you,” Sam said.  
I found it hard to believe he found Dean weak this had to be the siren. And me hurt because of Dean? I couldn’t see that happening “That’s crap,” Dean replied. I looked between them knowing they were about to come to blows. “Stop you guys. Sam you know Dean isn’t weak and I wouldn’t have got hurt because of him so please just stop. Even if I wanted to help that’s my decision to make not yours,” I said but I was ignored. “You're too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Whining about all the souls you tortured in hell. Boo hoo,” Sam told Dean and my heart broke even more. This wasn’t the Sam I knew and loved; he could never say something that cruel to his brother. But the siren had a firm hold on me and I couldn’t get loose to stop it.   
The boys began to trade blows until Dean grabbed an axe. I fought harder finally breaking free and swinging my fist at the siren. I tackled Dean to stop him from hitting Sam and saw Bobby standing behind him. Thank God for Bobby; he had the knife to kill the siren. He jabbed it in Dean’s shoulder making him cry out, but that was the least of our worries. The siren had tried to make a run for it, but Bobby threw the knife lodging it in the siren’s back killing it. We walked out to the Impala all of us grateful Bobby showed up when he did. We stood there awkwardly for a moment after Bobby left. “Dean, look, you know I didn't mean the things I said back there, right? That it was just the siren's spell talking?” Sam asked. Dean nodded his head and replied, “Of course, me too.” I wanted to say something, but I wasn’t sure what. “'Kay. So... so we're good?” Sam asked. I hoped they were because I didn’t want tension between them. “Yeah, we're good. But you might want to talk to Cassidy,” Dean told him before getting in the Impala.   
Sam turned to me and I could feel the regret as well as see it in his eyes. “Look Cassidy I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kept the phone calls from you,” Sam started. I pursed my lips and let out a deep breath. “No Sam you shouldn’t have. I thought we were closer than that. Why didn’t you tell me?” I replied. I could see the hurt in Sam’s eyes at my words, but couldn’t bring myself to care in that moment. “Because I know how much you hate Ruby and I didn’t want you mad at me. But I realize not telling you was worse. Plus I really do want to protect you,” Sam said. I looked up at him and let out a sigh. “I knew something was up Sam you should have just told me. Yeah I would have been mad, but I’m even more pissed you kept it from me. And I love that you want to protect me from Lilith, but I’m a grown woman and a hunter I can take care of myself.” I said giving him a serious look. “You’re right and I’m sorry. Are we gonna be okay?” Sam asked. I looked down and then back up at Sam. He was so hopeful things between us would be okay. “I forgive you Sam, but I think it’ll be awhile before we’re okay,” I replied before getting in the Impala.  
That was four days ago and we still weren’t okay. I had taken to sleeping in the spare bed instead of with Sam. We hadn’t held hands, kissed, or cuddled in days; I missed his touch. I barely slept at night and Sam was the same way. I had forgiven him, but I was still hurt about him keeping secrets from me. Dean wanted to say something to help us, but couldn’t find the words. Emotions or as he called them ‘chick flick moments’ weren’t his thing. However I could tell the tension was starting to get to him as well. I hated this void that Sam and I had found ourselves in and I wasn’t sure how to fill it. I watched Sam as he slept in the front seat and let out a sigh. Dean looked at me in the mirror before back to the road. “Look he gets that he made a mistake, he apologized, you forgave him. Why can’t you get passed this?” He asked. And I wondered the same thing. It really made no sense and I hated not feeling his arms around me at night, his lips when we had to part ways if only for a short time, his hand as it ran through my hair to calm me down.  
“I don’t know Dean. I really don’t. Maybe it’s because every time I asked what was going on he lied. Or maybe it’s because I hate Ruby for convincing him to break his promise to you, for lying to him about saving you, for sleeping with him.” I replied. Dean then gave me a small smirk. “I think it’s that last one. Whether you want to admit it or not you’re worried he’s more attracted to her. And if he’s having secret phone calls with her does that mean he’ll leave you. Well let me tell you something Sam loves you. He may not have said it yet, but he does. He’s not gonna leave you for that demon skank. She was a distraction you are the real deal. I promise you have nothing to worry about there.” Dean told me. I was surprised he got so girly for a moment, but I appreciated it. “I appreciate the chick flick moment Dean. I needed it,” I replied. “Yeah, well you tell anyone and I’ll kill ya,” he said causing me to laugh loud enough it woke Sam up.   
We had just pulled into a hotel parking lot so Dean gave me a look that said fix this before getting out to go book our rooms. “Sam I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. For some reason I was worried you found Ruby more attractive than me and I thought you might leave,” I said. Sam turned around and looked at me. “I could never find another woman as attractive as you. And I definitely don’t want Ruby,” Sam told me. I could feel how honest he was being and smiled. He reached back and grabbed my hand. “I promise I only want you and from now on no more secrets,” Sam told me. I leaned forward and kissed him happy that things were better between us. We saw Dean walking toward us and got out of the Impala. He handed us a room key, grabbed his duffle from the trunk and went to his room. Sam grabbed mine and his bags before closing the trunk and we went to our room.  
As soon as the door closed Sam dropped the bags and pushed me against the door his lips smashing against mine in a bruising kiss. I wrapped my arms wrapped around his neck while his went to my hips gripping me tight. We had gone days without touching in anyway and all those pent up emotions were pouring out. Sam ran his hand down my leg and pulled it up around his waist so he could grind into my sex. I moaned into his mouth loving the feeling. He broke our kiss and began kissing my neck before biting it eliciting another moan from me. Sam was in no way being his normal gentle self and I was perfectly fine with that. He pulled away from me for a moment before grabbing my shirt and ripping it off. My chest heaved as my heart began to race. I had never wanted Sam more than I did in that moment. Luckily my bra unhooked from the front so he didn’t rip it as well; not that I would have complained. As soon as the cloth was out of the way he attacked my chest with kisses and bites that I knew would leave marks, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I leaned my head against the door and moaned again at how amazing his touch felt. He kissed and bit his way to the edge of my jeans. He undid them and then jerked them and my lacy thong down in one swift motion.   
I had already kicked my boots off so I stepped out of my jeans. Sam removed all his clothes before standing back up and towering over me. The look in his eyes told me not to expect anything gentle. His lips claimed mine in a fiery kiss as he bit my bottom lip I gasped allowing him to slip his tongue in my mouth. He grabbed my legs and lifted them both and before I was truly ready slammed into me. His thrusts were hard and fast and I knew neither of us would last long. I pulled his hair and ran my nails down his back earning a moan from him. I sucked on his tongue as it went in and out of my mouth like his cock was going in and out of my hot sex. I began to buck my hips against his to form more friction. My orgasm began to build and I dug my nails into his back. In retaliation he squeezed my hips and bit my lip again. With a few more thrusts we began to cum together. Once our high began to wear off Sam carried me over to the bed and laid me down. “I promise after tonight, you’ll realize you’re the only woman I want,” he told me. And I believed him with everything in me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not a huge fan of the siren episode and I felt doing a little flashback was easier than trying to incorporate Cassidy into that case since Sam sleeps with that doctor chick. Hope you guys like this chapter. Please comment and leave kudos if ya do.


	20. Confusion

Sam, Dean, and I were in a diner, Sam was on the phone with Bobby, I was on the laptop, and Dean was beating the jukebox trying to get it to work. “No, no, no, you're right, it's definitely weird. ...Okay, Bobby, thanks.” Sam said before hanging up. Dean sat down before I had the chance to ask what was going on. Bobby didn’t call too often unless it was a case, to check on us, or to help us with stopping the seals from breaking. “What’s up?” he asked. Sam took the laptop and began typing. I assumed he was checking the information Bobby had gave him so I didn’t complain about him taking it. “Bobby found something in Wyoming,” Sam told him. “A job?” Dean asked before taking a bite of his burger. I picked up a fry and munched on it waiting on Sam to answer. “Maybe. Small town, no one's died in the past week and a half,” Sam informed us. I frowned wondering how that’s possible, but not seeing it as a bad thing. “Isn’t that a good thing?” I asked. “Yeah, is that so unusual?” Dean asked and I had to give him a look. How is it normal? People die on almost a daily basis whether it’s from illness, an accident, or murder. “Well, it's how they're not dying,” Sam told us confusing me.  
“What do you mean babe?” I asked. He looked up at us for a moment and said, “One guy with terminal cancer strolls right out of hospice. Another guy gets capped by a mugger and walks away without a scratch,” Sam explains. I cocked my head to the side not entirely sure what to say. “Capped in the ass?” Dean asked. Sam then turned the laptop toward me. The laptop browser had two tabs open to the Greybull Gazette; the top tab had an article with the headline "Shooting victim walks away unharmed" and the subheading "Man miraculously survives after direct shot to heart". The first paragraph reads "Police and medical authorities are struggling for an explanation as to why local resident James Jenkins was able to walk away from a point-blank shooting incident. After leaving Bison Bud's Bar, Mr. Jenkins and friend Pete Hensley were confronted by a mugger in a nearby alley. After a brief altercation, the mugger fired a shot from a 9mm Automatic, hitting Jenkins [directly in the heart...]"   
“Hot damn that’s crazy,” I said. Sam nods his head and tells Dean, “Police say Mr. Jenkins was shot in the heart at point-blank range by a nine-millimeter,” Dean kept eating, but gave me a look saying he understood my comment. “And he's not a doughnut?” Dean asked with a mouthful of food. “So gross,” I mumbled, but my comment was ignored. “Locals are saying it's a miracle,” Sam said. I could understand why they would think it was a miracle, however, in our line of work those didn’t happen without something behind it. “Okay,” Dean said. “It's got to be something nasty, right? I mean, people making deals or something,” Sam said and I had to agree.  
Dean looked like he’s considering it. “You think?” he asked. “What else would it be?” Sam asked. I could feel the upset and tension beginning to grow and I didn’t understand how Sam didn’t. “I don’t know,” Dean replied. Sam began packing the laptop up and replied, “Alright. Get that to go,” talking about our food. I looked back and forth between the two as Dean didn’t move. “Come on,” Sam said standing up and grabbing the bag. Dean didn’t budge, just kept eating. Sam swung the bag up on his shoulder and looked at me confused. I shook my head knowing what was about to happen. “What?” Sam asked. Dean glanced up at him and then back down. “Sure you want me going with you?” Dean asked. I inwardly groaned at the question. “Why wouldn’t I?” Sam asked even more confused. I could feel Dean’s hurt and anger as he replied, “I don't want to be holding you back or nothing.” I shook my head sick and tired of this shit. I was able to get past the fact Sam had kept secrets from me and had been talking to Ruby; the demon slut I wanted dead more than anything in this world, so why couldn’t Dean. “Dude, I've told you a hundred times, that was the siren talking, not me. Can we get passed this?” Sam asked. Dean put his burger down, but I could still tell he was hurt. “Yeah, we're past it,” Dean said as he brushes his hands off.   
I waited till we were outside before saying something as to not draw attention to us. “Alright this crap between you two needs to stop. Dean I get that Sam hurt you saying you were holding him back. He doesn’t actually think you are holding him back. In all honesty he looks up to you. He was afraid of how disappointed you would be if you found out. The things the siren made him say are the opposite of how he truly feels. So quit feeling sorry for yourself please it’s not good for any of us. And Sam you need to start being more honest with your brother because this tension, hurt, and anger between you guys is killing me.” I replied. Sam and Dean both looked at me surprised. I very rarely called them out on their crap, but the emotions were eating me alive. It was bad enough dealing with Dean’s pain from going to hell and Sam’s worry and revenge mindset; I couldn’t take anymore. “You know you’re right. Our emotions are piling over onto you and that’s not fair. I should have told Dean more than just sorry it was the siren.” Sam said hugging me. I could feel the tension slowly ebbing between them and I was grateful. We got in the Impala so we could go check out the case.  
Our first stop was Jim’s to see if he had made a deal; had to be a reason he was still alive. “Now, you three said you were bloggers?” Jim asked. Sometimes it took everything in me not to laugh at the covers we were using. “Yes, sir. Floored by the Lord dot com,” Sam replied. “All of God's glory fit to blog,” Dean added with a grin. He was just as amused by our cover as I was. Only thing I wasn’t amused by was the outfit I was wearing. I normally wore hip hugging jeans, a tank top, plunging v-neck, or band t-shirt and boots; right now I was in a light blue skirt that came to my shins, a white dress shirt overtop a white spaghetti strap and bra with some tan wedge heels. “Um. Some of the people around town are saying what happened to you was a miracle,” Sam told Jim. His answer would hopefully help us figure out what was going on. “It was. Plain as day,” Jim replied. I was still skeptical that, that was the case and so were the boys.  
“How can you be so sure?” Sam asked. “How else do you explain it? The doctors can't. There's a bullet in my heart, and it's pumping like a piston,” Jim said. I could tell he really did feel it was a miracle and I wished that was the case, but I knew it wasn’t. “Well, how do you explain it?” Dean asked. In that moment I could feel the regret coming from him as he hesitated and looked at his daughter. “Hey it’s okay we aren’t going to judge you. That’s not our job. Our job is to spread the truth about what God can do. And we need the full story if we are to do that,” I told him with a small smile. “Look, honestly. I was nobody's saint—not exactly father of the year, either,” he started. My dad hadn’t been perfect either, but what I wouldn’t give for another moment with him and my mom. “But when that guy shot me and I didn't bleed a drop? I just knew the Lord was giving me a second chance,” Jim finished after a moment’s pause.  
I could feel Dean’s and Sam’s disbelief and who could blame them after everything we saw and what the angels had done. I had once been a big believer, but then I lost my parents, my husband, and had met the angels; hard to believe God cared after that. “That so?” Dean asked. Jim looked at us with a smile and said, “I had this feeling—like angels were watching over me.” Yeah because they are so good at that. “I wouldn't expect you guys to understand,” he told us. I believed in angels and I could understand why he felt that way because at one point in time I did, but now I just knew it wasn’t the case; angels were heartless. “Well, we'll just have to try,” Dean said at the same time I said, “I do.” Sam glanced at me with a smile knowing I did understand. “You wouldn't have happened to have swung by a crossroads in the past week or so?” Sam asked and I knew we were going to have to leave soon. “No,” Jim replied in confusion. “Maybe you met someone? With black eyes? Or red?” Sam asked. You know all perfectly normal questions. Jim leaned forward with a funny look on his face. “Who'd you guys say you were again?” he asked. Yep our cover was officially blown. Sam, Dean, and I looked at one another before Dean said, “Never mind. Thank you for your time.” He then got up and Sam and I followed.   
I walked out of the hotel bathroom back in my normal clothes when Sam walked into the hotel room. “Hey,” he said. He sat down in the chair opposite Dean and I sat in his lap causing Dean to roll his eyes. “Anything?” he asked. “That cancer survivor? He was clinically dead, his wife pulled the plug, and now he's taking her out for their twentieth anniversary,” Sam replied. I knew it would never happen in our lives, but I couldn’t help to think about Sam and me celebrating our twentieth anniversary. “Any sign of a deal?” Dean asked. “No. What about you? Found anyone dying around here?” Sam asked in return. I shook my head no as Dean said, “Not since Cole Griffith.” I frowned thinking about the poor boy. “He dropped ten days ago. It was the last death I could find,” Dean said. Sam wrapped his arm around me and rested his hand on my lap playing with the hem of my shirt. I could tell he was thinking about what we could be dealing with.  
“So, what are you thinking?” Sam asked. I looked at Dean in amazement as he said, “Eh, maybe it is what the people say it is.” Sam scoffed and pulled the laptop towards us. “Miracles? Dean, our experience, when do miracles just happen?” Sam asked. I looked at Dean with a sad smile. “I wish miracles existed Dean, but we know they don’t,” I said. We all wanted it to be was miracles, but none of us truly believed it; not even Dean despite what he said. “Well, there's no deals. There's, uh, no skeevy faith healers. I mean, these souls just ain't getting dragged into the light.” Dean said as he poured a cup of coffee. Sam and I both started thinking the same thing, no reaper. “Maybe 'cause there's no one around to carry them,” Sam said. It was the only explanation as to what was happening. “What do you mean?” Dean asked as he came back over to us.  
“Just what he said Dean. There’s no reaper to carry the souls,” I said. Sam nodded and said, “Exactly what Cassidy said, grim reapers—that's what they do, right? Schlep souls? So, if death ain't in town,” Sam trailed off. Dean picked up our train of thought saying, “Then nobody's dying. So what? The local reaper's on strike? Playing the back nine? I don't know, guys.” He then took a drink of his coffee. It sounded crazy, I know, but what other reason would there be for people who should be dead still being alive. “Well, then, let's talk to somebody who might,” Sam suggested. I turned and looked at him wondering what he was planning. “Well, last I checked, huggy bear ain't available,” Dean said. “No, dude, the kid.” Sam said. Seems we’re going to do a séance. Funny how growing up if someone said that I would have thought them crazy; amazing how my life has changed. “The kid? The kid's a doornail,” Dean replied not catching on. “Exactly. Look, if he was the last person to die around here, then maybe he's seen something. We should talk to him.” Sam said. Dean looked at him with a raised brow. “I love how matter-of-fact you are about that. Strange lives.” He said. “Ain’t that the truth,” I said. Dean made a sound of agreement before drinking more coffee.  
Sam, Dean, and I went to the graveyard were the kid was buried. His gravestone read “Beloved Son Cole Griffith 1997 – 2009 Forever In Our Memories” Sam had arranged five candles on a cloth with a pentacle on it. I stood to the side of the headstone out of the way, while Sam laid a bundle of sticks between the candles and Dean sat on the headstone reading his dad’s journal. “You sure this is gonna work?” Dean asked. Sam looked up at us. “No. But if his spirit's around, this should smoke him out,” Sam said. He then poured some thing into a bowl and Dean closed the journal. I could tell he was upset, I wasn’t completely sure what about, but I had an idea. “What?” Sam asked him. I looked to Dean wondering the same. “This job is jacked, that's what,” he said. I looked to Sam knowing he was confused, but I was now sure my idea was right. “How so?” he asked. “You want me to gank a monster or torch a corpse, hey, let's light it up, right? But this? If we fix whatever this is, people are gonna start dropping dead. Good people,” Dean explained. I understood what he was saying. Our job was to save lives and this one would end them; it was definitely twisted.   
“Look, I don't want them to die, either, Dean, but there's a natural order.” Sam said standing up. I looked at Sam like he had grown a second head; what in our lives was natural? “You're kidding, right?” Dean asked. “What?” Sam asked in return. “Our lives aren’t exactly normal Sam,” I said causing Dean to nod his head. “Yeah, you don't see the irony in that? I mean, you and me, we're like the poster boys of the unnatural order. All we do is ditch death.” Dean said. I hadn’t had to ditch death YET, but with our lives it was bound to happen. “Yeah, but the normal rules don't really apply to us, do they?” Sam asked. I opened my mouth to say something, but Dean beat me to it, “We're no different than anybody else.” I gave him the same look I had gave Sam earlier. “I'm infected with demon blood. You've been to hell. Cassidy is an empath,” Sam defends his earlier remark. Dean looks away from us clearly upset. “Look, I know you want to think of yourself as Joe the Plumber, Dean, but you're not. Neither am I. The sooner you accept that, the better off you're gonna be.” Sam told him. I gave him a pointed look upset with him. What was wrong with us believing we were normal if it got us through the day?  
“Ah, Joe the Plumber was a douche.” Dean said looking up. I gave him a smile letting him know I understood how he was feeling. “You gonna help me finish this?” Sam asked. Dean stood up, but before we could do anything a voice yelled, “Hey!” We looked toward the voice and saw a man carrying a flashlight; shit. “What are you doing here?” he asked. Sam glanced at Dean and me. “Uh…Just take it easy” he said. The man was looking at us all like we were crazy, but something felt off about him. “What the hell is this?” the man asked. I tried to think of something to say and couldn’t because I was too busy trying to place where I knew that feeling from. “Okay, this—this—this is not what it looks like,” Dean said giving a nervous laugh. “Really? Cause it looks like devil worship,” the man replied. “What? No! No, this is not devil worship. This—This is—this—this is, uh— I don’t have a good answer,” Dean said giving up.   
I smacked my forward shaking my head. “We’re leaving,” Sam told him as he grabbed my hand. “You're not going anywhere,” he started. Sam frowned as the man stepped toward us. “Ever again. Sam,” he finished. In that moment right before Dean said, “Alastair.” I remembered where I knew the feeling from. “I thought you got deep fried, extra-crispy,” Dean said. I could feel Alastair’s amusement as he said, “Nah. Just the pediatrician I was riding. His wife's still looking for him. It's hilarious. Anyway,” he then looked at Sam who was fuming. His anger began to mix with my own as I stared Alastair down. “No time to chat. Got a hot date with death.” He said before flicking his wrist sending Dean flying. “Dean!” Sam yelled. I went to take a step toward him as Alastair lifted his hand to send Sam and me flying. It for some reason didn’t work and I was confused while Sam just smirked. “You're stronger, Sam. You've been soloflexing with your little slut? And you I guess the longer your around these boys the more your angelic powers grow,” Alastair said. I was so flabbergasted by what he said I didn’t even hear Sam as he replied, “You have no idea.” He then flicked his own hand to fling Alastair, but before he could exorcise him, he fled the body he was in.


	21. A Brush With Death

I sat on the hotel bed in shock. Angelic powers? What the hell did that even mean? Dean was laying on his bed holding an ice pack to his head while I sat there thinking. “How you doing?” Sam asked him before glancing at me. I knew he was worried about me and so was Dean, but I didn’t know what to say to ease it. “I'm in pain, that's how I'm doing. I think I have a concussion.” Dean replied. I frowned hoping that wasn’t the case. “You want some aspirin?” Sam asked. Dean sat up and said, “No thanks, House. So, demons, huh?” Of course it wasn’t miracles, why would we be that lucky? “Yeah. So much for miracles.” Sam replied. “And what the hell happened with Alastair again?” Dean asked. I was still trying to figure that one out myself. “I told you, he tried to fling us or whatever.--” Sam flicked his wrist in demonstration. “---And it didn’t work, so he bailed.” He finished explaining.  
“Well, how come he couldn't fling you? He chucked you pretty good last time. And what about her?” Dean asked. I looked over at him when he brought me into the discussion. “Got no idea. But he said her angelic powers are growing the more she’s around us.” Sam replied. Sam turned to the coffeemaker then back to Dean when he started speaking. “Sam, do me a favor. If you're gonna keep your little secrets, I can't really stop you, but just don't treat us like idiots, okay? And what the hell does angelic powers even mean? She isn’t like Anna is she?” Dean asked. I looked at Sam hoping he wasn’t keeping more secrets from me. I knew he was still talking to Ruby, which I hated, but I didn’t question what they did to improve his powers; so in a way he wasn’t keeping secrets from me, just Dean. I had thought my earlier talk with them had gotten through, now I wasn’t so sure.  
“What? Dean, I'm not keeping secrets. And no she isn’t like Anna at least I don’t think,” Sam replied. I really hoped he was right; I didn’t want to be some fallen angel. “Mm-hm. Whatever. So, did you go back and q-and-a the dead kid?” Dean asked. Sam walked over to our bed and picked up a thin notebook; I hadn’t even noticed it was there. “Didn't have to. Bobby called. He did some digging,” Sam said. Okay hopefully he had some good news. “And?” Dean asked. “He thinks I'm right. Local reaper's gone. Not just gone—kidnapped.” Sam said. I was a little surprised by that, but my mind was still occupied with thoughts of what Alastair had said. “By demons? Why?” Dean asked. I looked over at Sam waiting on his answer. “Listen to this,” Sam started before reading from the book, “And he bloodied death under the newborn sky—sweet to taste, but bitter when once devoured.” That sounded ominous and I didn’t like it. “Swanky. What the hell's that mean?” Dean asked. I really wanted it to mean something other than what I thought. “Well, it's from a very obscure, very arcane version of Revelations.” Sam said. So much for it being something else. “That’s just great.” I said. “Which means what I think it means?” Dean asked. “Basically, you kill a reaper under the solstice moon—tomorrow night, by the way—you got yourself a broken seal.” Sam explained. Another broken seal is the last thing we needed.   
“How do you ice a reaper? You can't kill death.” Dean asked. Clearly you can or it wouldn’t be a seal. “I don't know. Maybe demons can. Where the hell are the angels is what I want to know. We could use their help for once. Maybe they could tell Cassidy what Alastair meant as well,” Sam said. It would be nice, but I doubted they were going to show up with answers to my questions; I just wasn’t that lucky. “It looks like we're gonna have to take care of this one ourselves. And I swear Cassidy we’ll get some answers for you,” Dean said. I wasn’t sure how he planned to do that, but I was grateful he was going to try. “What are we gonna do, just swing in and save the friendly neighborhood reaper? And yeah we’ll do everything we can to get answers.” Sam replied. I was overwhelmed by how much these two were willing to help me; maybe I was luckier than I thought. “You got a better idea, I'm all ears.” Dean said. “Dean, reapers are invisible. The only people that can see them are the dead and the dying.” Sam said wondering how Dean planned to do this. “Well, if ghosts are the only ones that can see them...” Dean started and I realized what his plan was. “Then we become ghosts.” Dean finishes. He put his icepack back on his head and smirked. “You do have a concussion.” Sam told him. “Yeah I have to agree with him on this one,” I said. “Sounds crazy, I know.” Dean said. It didn’t just sound crazy, it was crazy. “It is crazy,” Sam said voicing mine and his thoughts. Dean just smirked more causing Sam to ask, “How?”  
The next morning Sam opened the hotel door letting in Pamela and Dean. “I can't even begin to tell you how crazy you two are. And you agreed to this?” she asked me. I in no way agreed, but that wasn’t going to stop them and I told her as much. She felt her way into the room as Sam said, “Well, Pamela, you're a sight for sore eyes.” I just shook my head at his thoughtlessness. “Aw, that's sweet, grumpy. What do you say to deaf people?” Pamela asked. I had to hold back a chuckle as Dean looked down and Sam looked as uncomfortable as they both felt. “Which one of you brainics came up with astral projection?” She asked. “Yo,” Dean said raising his hand. “Of course. Chachi,” she said. Dean turned to us and mouthed the word causing us both to shrug. “So, let's be clear. You want to rip your souls out of your bodies and take a little stroll through the spirit world?” Pamela asked. When she put it that way it sounded even crazier. “Mm-hm,” Dean answered.   
“Do you have any idea how heavy-duty insane that is?” she asked. I looked at her and said, “I agree with you, but hey I’m out voted.” Pamela folded her arms over her chest waiting on an answer. “Maybe, but that's where the reaper is, so...” Dean started and Pamela interrupted, “So it’s nuts.” Dean looked at me then her, but I shrugged my shoulders telling him he was on his own this time. I may have looked at him like a brother, but I agreed with Pamela. “Not if you know what you're doing.” Dean replied. “You don't know what you're doing,” Pamela and I said at the same time. I was worried about what would happen to them. “No, but she does.” Dean replied. “Yeah, I do. And guess what? I'm sick of being hauled back into your angel-demon, Soc-Greaser crap.” Pamela told him. I felt horrible she didn’t deserve to be in this mess. “Look, I'd love to be kicking back with a cold one, watching Judge Judy, too.” Dean said. I once again shook my head; these boys needed to start thinking before speaking. “Nice. More blind jokes?” she said with a snarky tone. “You know what I mean. We're talking the end of the world here, okay? No more tasseled leather pants, no more Ramones CDs, no more nothing. We need your help,” Dean told her.  
Pamela finally agreed to help the boys do the astral projection so there were a lot of candles lit around the room. Dean dropped his lighter on the table and picked up one of the candles bringing one with him over to the bedside table. I was sitting at the table out of Pamela’s way as Dean sat on his bed, her in a chair between them and Sam closed the curtains. “Tell me something, geniuses. Even if you do break into the veil and you find the reaper, how you gonna save it?” Pamela asked. Sam closed the curtains on another window as Dean said, “With style and class.” I rolled my eyes. “You're gonna be two walking pieces of fog who can't touch or move anything. You'll be defenseless, hotshot.” Pamela explains to them. “I seem to recall a bunch of ghosts beating the crap out of us,” Sam replied confused. I had to laugh at the fact the boys weren’t getting it. “Yeah, well, they had plenty of time to practice.” Pamela said. It was true ghosts take time to manifest and learn how to be able to attack and such. “Well, then, I guess we got to start cramming.” Dean replied. I guess he was going to treat it like a test he had to study for I just hoped it worked. “Wow, couple of heroes. All right. Lie down. Close your eyes.” Pamela said patting one of the beds.  
I watched all of this with mild curiosity and loads of worry. I didn’t want the boys to get stuck on the other side. “Animum vult decipi, ergo decipiatur. Vis, vis, vis. Okay, guys. That's it. Showtime.” Pamela said. I looked on having felt the shift in the boys. It was amazing and weird at the same time. “All right, so, I'm assuming you're somewhere over the rainbow. Remember I have to bring you back.” Pamela stands up and walks over to Sam. “I'll whisper the incantation in your ear,” she said leaning over to do just that. “You have got a great ass. Cassidy thinks so to,” she told him. I chuckled and nodded my head. “Yeah he definitely has a great ass.” I said. I sat in my chair watching her for a minute wondering how to word my question. “Look just ask me already. No reason to beat around the bush,” she told me. I blushed knowing I was caught. “Um I was wondering if while you were here, you could help me figure out what Alastair meant?” I asked.  
She turned toward me and asked her own question, “Well what did he say?” I was nervous about telling her because I knew how much she hated the angels; I would too if I was her. “He said my powers were angelic, but I don’t know what the hell that means.” I replied hoping I didn’t anger her. Pamela let out a sigh and I knew she was upset. “Before I came here Bobby did a little research into your family history. Turns out you weren’t the first with powers,” she told me. I was extremely surprised, but also relieved that meant I wasn’t a fallen angel. “So what does that mean?” I asked. She motioned me to come closer to her so I pulled my chair next to hers. She grabbed my hand and closed her eyes. I could feel her reading me and searching for the answers; I just hoped she was able to find something. “Well that’s just great. You may not be an angel, but you got angel blood in you,” Pamela said opening her eyes and letting go of my hand. “Wait what?” I asked utterly lost. “You’re descended from a Nephilim. How I’m not sure, but you are,” she explained.  
While I was happy to have answers I was still confused on how it was possible. I thought the angels had killed the Nephilim. “Thank you Pam,” I told her. “Don’t mention it,” she replied. I knew she really didn’t want me to bring it up, seeing as she hated talking angel crap. We sat there waiting on the boys in silence until we heard a creaking sound. Pamela got up and went to the door locking and chaining it. I knew it was a demon and I wasn’t sure how I was going to stop it and protect Pamela, but I was going to try. The window was open blowing the curtain around so I closed it. She walked to the middle of the room and I stood next to her my gun raised. I could feel the demon and how amused it was playing with us. She walked toward the bathroom so I followed, “I know you're here. What's the matter, you reeking son of a bitch? You afraid of a couple of skirts?” she asked approaching the curtain and pulling it back. The demon wasn’t there so we left the bathroom. When we did there were two demons standing in the room. I shot at the demon as Pamela ran toward Sam. “Vis, vis, vis!” She yells at him.  
I fired off a shot hitting one of the demons in the shoulder. All it did was make him laugh. The other demon grabbed Pamela dragging her up before I had a chance to stop it the one I had shot hit me sending me into the bedside table. “Son of a bitch!” I heard Pamela yell as I stood back up. I wasn’t going down without a fight, unfortunately I had lost my gun so I took a swing at the demon in front of me. He ducked and swung at me causing me to dance back a bit and kick at him. He grabbed my leg and pulled me toward him. I fell backwards and when I looked up he had my gun. He fired a shot hitting me in the shoulder. It hurt like hell, but there was no blood. Pamela managed to get away from her demon and went back to Sam. “Animum vult decipi, ergo,” she said. The demon grabbed her and threw her across the room. I tried to get up and stop him, but the other demon just fired another shot this time in my leg. The demon stabbed her in the gut just as Sam sat up. I was glad he was okay, but I knew soon Pamela and I wouldn’t be. “Cassidy! Pamela!” Sam yelled before exorcising both the demons.   
He then walked over to me and helped me up. I may not have been bleeding, but I was still in pain. With his help we walked over to Pamela. She was laughing and I was confused. “What’s so funny?” Sam asked as I sat on his now vacant bed. “I can't die—not in this town.” She said and I frowned. For the moment we were okay, but it wasn’t going to be that way forever. “Pamela--” Sam started, but she interrupted, “Quit your worrying, grumpy. How about you make me a drink, huh? And one for Cassidy too.” I raised a brow. How could she be so calm knowing soon the reaper would be back to well reaping. “You guys need a doctor,” Sam said. I gave him a sad smile knowing he was right, but he wasn’t going to convince her. “Make me a drink, Sam.” Pamela said. Sam just swallowed worried for us both.  
Pamela sat down on Dean’s bed and said the incantation to bring him back, “Imum vult decipi, ergo decipiatur. Vis, vis, vis.” She stands up and comes over to the bed I’m lying on and lays beside me. “Hey, we just got to talk to Tessa, that's all. Get her to hold off reaping till we get you guys better.” Sam said. I noticed my shoulder and leg are now both pouring blood. “I'm pretty sure she's started up again.” Pamela said as blood poured over her hand. Her wound was bleeding worse than mine I knew there was no hope for her. I wanted to scream and cry; this was my fault I wasn’t strong enough to protect her. Dean sat up taking a deep breath as Sam looked at us worried. Dean looked at us and noticed the blood we were losing. “What happened?” he asked. “Where’s Tessa?” Sam asked. “She’s…” Dean started as Pamela took off her glasses. “Pamela, I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this.” Sam told her. She just looked at him and said, “Yeah, I don't. I told you I didn't want anything to do with this. Do me a favor? Tell that bastard Bobby Singer—to go to hell for ever introducing me to you two in the first place. And get her some help she’s a good girl she deserves to make it.” I started crying knowing she was worried about me even though it was my fault she was dying in the first place. “Take it easy, Pamela. If it's any consolation, you're going to a better place.” Dean tells her. Before any of us can say anything more Pamela took her final breath and fell over dead.  
I sat on the bed beside her crying not knowing what to do or say. “Come on we got to get you to the hospital. You’ve already lost too much blood,” Sam said as he picked me up bridal style. I laid in the backseat of the Impala towels wrapped around my wounds to try and staunch the flow of blood. My vision was starting to fade and I wasn’t sure I could stay awake much longer. “Come on Cassidy stay with me,” Sam said, but his voice sounded so far away. I felt him squeeze the hand he was holding and I tried to fight off the darkness. They were so worried about me, but there was nothing I say to reassure them even if I tried. A few moments later I gave up the fight and succumbed to the sleep I had been trying to fight. The last thing I remember hearing was Sam yelling, “Dean hurry she isn’t gonna last much longer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I gotta ask did anyone see her having angel blood coming? Comment and let me know what you think


	22. What Did I miss?

I woke up and my head felt like someone had embedded a pickaxe in it. My gun shot wounds hurt, but not as bad as I had expected them too. I looked down and noticed I had an I.V in the arm that hadn’t been shot and a breathing tube in my nose. My wounds were lightly bandaged and sore. I saw Sam sitting in the chair next to me asleep. “Hey,” I said, but my voice came out barely a whisper. My throat was dry and it hurt to talk. Sam blinked open his eyes and looked at me. “Cassidy you’re awake thank God. I thought I had lost you,” he said giving me a hug. I hugged him back the best I could and smiled. He pulled back and offered me a glass of water. I took it and drank almost the whole thing before sitting it on the bedside table. “You should know it’s gonna take more than a couple of demons to take me down.” I told him. He gave me a huge smile glad I was feeling good enough to joke. “So how long was I out and how long till I can leave?” I asked.  
Truth was I absolutely hated hospitals and I wanted out of here as soon as possible. “You’ve been out for a week. They weren’t sure why you hadn’t woke up or when you would wake up. You lost a lot of blood because of how long it took to get here, but the gun shots weren’t really that bad. They took the bullets out and gave you a few stitches as well as a blood transfusion. Said you could leave when you woke up, just have to take it easy for a few days. I’m just glad I was here when you woke up,” Sam said causing me to frown. I had missed Pamela’s funeral and I felt awful. Wait why wouldn’t he have been here? Did they go on a hunt while I was out? “Um why wouldn’t you have been here?” I asked. Sam sighed and looked down. “Freaking angels babe. They took Dean and had him torture Alastair to find out who had been killing the angels. Turns out it was the angels themselves and I had to rescue Dean who almost died because the devil’s trap broke and Alastair got free. Then they sent us into this weird reality where Dean was a big shot at some company and I was a tech guy. We ended up fighting a ghost and it was supposed to prove that the path we are on is the one we are meant to be or some stupid nonsense. Either way I didn’t think I was going to be here when you woke up.” Sam explained.  
I sat there trying to process all of this. Those angels were about to get on my last nerve and unfortunately I had their blood in me from somewhere down the line. That reminds me I hadn’t had the chance to tell the boys what I had found out. “Sam there’s something I need to tell you,” I said looking at him a little nervous. “What is it babe?” he asked grabbing my hand. I looked down at the bed as I replied, “Pamela helped me figure out where my powers come from. Apparently there was a Nephilim in the family and I inherited my powers from them. Seems whoever the angel was, he was pretty powerful and that’s why powers were able to be passed on through the generations. I don’t know how far back the Nephilim was in the family though.” Sam gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and I should have known not to be nervous. Sam had demon blood after all, why would he care if I had a little angel? I felt surprise, understanding, and relief coming from the doorway. I looked up and saw Dean standing there.   
“Good to see you awake Cassidy,” Dean said. I gave him smile worried about him after what Sam had told me. “So you’re related to the dickbags huh?” Dean asked after taking a seat in the other chair the hospital provided. I rolled my eyes and said, “Don’t remind me.” That earned me a small chuckle from both the boys making me smile. I was still curious as to whom the angel was that begot my family, but I wasn’t too worried about it; at least I now knew where my powers came from. I had also figured, out on my own, what Alastair meant about them getting stronger the more I was around the boys or at least I thought I had. It was getting to where I could feel more than just emotions; I was starting to feel the things that affected them physically as well so I knew they were getting stronger. And they had been activated when Dean was raised from perdition, just like Anna being able to hear the other angels; so I surmised that being around someone saved by heaven and cursed by hell affected my powers. It was the only theory that made sense anyway.   
“Let’s see about getting you out of here,” Sam said standing up. He went and asked a nurse to page the doctor on my case. About ten minutes later he walked in the room. “Glad you’re finally awake. Let’s take a look at your wounds and check your vitals before I let you go. By the way I’m Dr. Adams,” he said. After unwrapping my wounds and checking them both, he checked my blood pressure and heart rate. “Well your vitals are good and your wounds look great. Should be able to get the stitches out in 3 days. Just make sure to keep them clean so it doesn’t get infected. As far as work just take things easy the next 4-5 days okay?” Dr. Adams told me. I nodded my head letting him know I understood. I was glad I wasn’t going to have to stay in the hospital very long. Dr. Adams left the room to go get my discharge papers so I took out my I.V, not wanting to wait on the nurse, and went to the bathroom to put some clothes on. When I came back out the nurse was standing there with my papers and a frown on her face. I gave her a sweet smile, but it didn’t erase the scowl on her face. “Just sign here and you’re free to go,” she said handing me a paper. I signed and handed it back before walking out of the room; Sam and Dean hot on my heels.  
I climbed into the back of the Impala ready to hit the road. “Someone sure is ready to go,” Dean said smirking at me. “Yes I want food, a shower and to sleep somewhere that isn’t a hospital with my wonderful boyfriend,” I replied. Dean rolled his eyes while Sam gave me a smile. It wasn’t long and we were on the road. We stopped and got something to go from the local dinner before heading to the motel. As soon as we were in our room I opened the container holding my bacon cheese burger and curly fries. I was starving and it didn’t take me long to devour my food. “Um babe did you even taste it?” Sam asked once I was done and they were still eating. “Sorry, but I was hungry. You try not eating for a week,” I replied. “She’s got a point Sammy,” Dean defended me and I smiled at him in thanks. “Yeah yeah, I’ve just never seen her eat like you.” Sam said and I chuckled.   
While they finished eating I went to take a shower. I wanted to wash the hospital funk off me and hopefully feel more like myself. The hot water felt good on my tight sore muscles. Not moving for a week had really put a strain on them. The water burned a little on my wounds, but I didn’t mind I was just glad I was alive and not severely injured. Guess I could say I’d officially ditched death. I finished rinsing off and climbed out of the shower. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me; that was when I realized I didn’t have any clothes. I opened the door and saw Dean wasn’t at the table anymore; he must have gone to his room. I looked toward the bed and saw Sam laying there completely naked. I dropped my towel and walked over to him knowing exactly how this night was going to go.


	23. We have fans?

Sam, Dean, and I walked into a comic book store wearing our FBI outfits. “Uh... can I help you?” the man behind the counter asked. We pulled out our badges and showed them to him. “Sure hope so. Agents DeYoung, Shaw, and Benatar. Just need to ask you a few questions,” Dean said. “Notice anything strange in the building, last couple of days?” Sam asked. “Like what?” The man asked giving us a funny look. “Well, some other tenants reported flickering lights,” Dean said. The man seemed to be thinking, but not about what we had asked. “Uh, I don't think so. Why?” he said. “What about noises? Any skittering in the walls? Kind of like rats?” Sam asked. The man looked even more skeptical than he did a moment ago. “And the FBI is investigating a rodent problem?” he asked. “No of course not. These are just routine questions,” I said giving him a small smile. “What about cold spots? Feel any sudden drops in temperature?” Sam asked.   
That was when I could feel the excitement coming from the man and I wasn’t sure why. “I knew it! You guys are LARPing, aren't you?” he asked. I looked at the guys utterly confused. “Fan’s of what?” Sam asked as Dean said, “What’s LARPing?” and I said, “The hell you talking about?” The man just looks at us for a minute. “Like you don't know--” he started but seeing our confused looks said, “Live-Action Role-Play! And pretty hardcore, too.” Okay now I know what LARPing is, but I still don’t understand what this guy is going on about. “I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about,” Dean said. “Yeah could you please explain?” I asked. “You're asking questions like the building's haunted. Like those guys from the books. What are they called? Uh... ‘Supernatural.’ Two guys, use fake IDs with rock aliases, hunt down ghosts, demons, vampires. What are their names? Uh... Steve and Dirk? Uh, Sal and Dane?” he starts explaining.  
“Sam and Dean?” Sam asked. I was hoping the guy would say that wasn’t it. “That's it!” he said. I looked at Sam and frowned, this situation was getting weirder by the minute. “You're saying this is a book?” Dean asked. “Books. It was a series. Didn't sell a lot of copies, though. Kind of had more of an underground cult following,” he explained walking over to a table labeled ‘bargain bin’ “Let's see. Um... Ah. Yeah,” he said handing one over to Dean. “That's the first one, I think,” he told us. I looked at the front and it read ‘Supernatural by Carver Edlund” Dean flipped it over and read the back out loud. “Along a lonely California highway, a mysterious woman in white lures men to their deaths.” That was the first case they did once Dean got Sam from college. Seriously what the hell was going on? Sam grabbed the book out of Dean’s hand and looks at it. “We're gonna need all the copies of ‘Supernatural’ you've got.” Sam tells the man.  
We returned to the hotel Sam was on his laptop while Dean and I read the books. “Everything is in here. I mean everything. From the racist truck to – to me having sex. I'm full-frontal in here, dude.” Dean said. I scrunched up my face not needing that image in my brain. “That was something I could have went without knowing. Glad I haven’t got that far,” I said throwing the book to the side. Dean got up and walked over to where Sam was. “How come we haven't heard of them before?” Dean asked and I wondered the same. “They're pretty obscure. I mean, almost zero circulation. Uh, started in '05. The publisher put out a couple dozen before going bankrupt. And, uh, the last one – ‘No Rest For The Wicked’--” Sam turned the computer toward us before finishing with, “Ends with you going to hell.” Well that explains why the guy didn’t mention my name; the books ended before I met the boys. “I reiterate. Freaking insane.” Dean said.  
I nodded my head because this was crazy. “Glad I’m not in these freaking books,” I said. Dean browsed the site for a second. “Check it out. There’s actually fans. There’s not many of them, but still. Did you read this?” Dean asked. “Yeah,” Sam replied. I was curious as to what the fans were saying. “Although for fans, they sure do complain a lot. Listen to this – Simpatico says ‘the demon story line is trite, clichéd, and overall craptastic.’ Yeah, well, screw you, Simpatico. We lived it.” Dean said. Well then if you didn’t like it why did you read it? “Yeah. Well, keep on reading. It gets better.” Sam said and that had me a little worried. “There are ‘Sam girls’ and ‘Dean girls’ and – what's a ‘slash fan’?” Dean asked. My face once again scrunched up, but this time in pure disgust. “As in... Sam-slash-Dean. Together.” Sam explained feeling just as disgusted as I was. Dean looked at us confused and asked, “Like, together together?” I nodded my head while Sam replied, “Yeah.”  
Dean was now just as disgusted as we were. “They do know we're brothers, right?” Dean asked. I doubted these weirdos cared. “Doesn't seem to matter.” Sam told him. “I reiterate I’m really glad I’m not part of these books.” I said. Sam pulled me toward him and nuzzled into my neck. “So am I,” he said. Dean closed the laptop and said, “Oh, come on. That... That's just sick. We got to find this Carver Edlund.” I was on board with that because I didn’t want more books written. “Yeah, that might not be so easy.” Sam said. I looked at him confused. “Why not?” Dean asked. “No tax records, no known address. Looks like ‘Carver Edlund’ is a pen name,” Sam explained. I let out a groan letting my head fall forward in exasperation. “Somebody’s gotta know who he is.” Dean said.  
We made a trip to the publishing building the next day hoping to find this ‘Carver Edlund’. “So you published the ‘Supernatural’ books?” Sam asked the publisher. “Yep. Yeah. Gosh. These books... You know, they never really got the attention they deserved. All anybody wants to read anymore is that romance crap. You know – ‘Doctor Sexy, M.D.’ Please,” she said before scoffing. “Right. Well, we're hoping that our article can... shine a light on an underappreciated series.” Sam told her. I gave her a smile and said, “Yeah a series like this deserves better.” She gave me a huge smile in return. “Yeah, yeah, because, you know, if we got a little bit of good press then m-maybe we could start publishing again,” she said. That was the last thing any of us wanted. “No, no, no, no. God, no. I mean, why – why would you want to do that? You know, it's, uh, such a complete series, what with Dean going to hell and all,” Dean said.   
The publisher seemed to be getting emotional. “Oh, my god! That was one of my favorite ones, because Dean was so... strong... and sad and brave. And Sam... I mean, the best parts are when they'd cry. You know, like in – In ‘Heart,’ when Sam had to kill Madison, the first woman since Jessica he really loved. And in ‘Home,’ when Dean had to call John and ask him for help,” she said before turning away from us. “Gosh... if only real men were so open and in touch with their feelings.” She finished her sentence. Oh lady if you only knew. “Real men?” Dean asked and I understood why because this lady without realizing it was talking about him. “I mean, no offense. How often do you cry like that, hmm?” she asked. I had to turn and cough to hide my laugh at the irony of this situation. “Well, right now, I'm crying on the inside.” Dean told her.  
Really Dean with the smartass comments; we need her to like us. “Is that supposed to be funny?” she asked. “Lady, this whole thing is funny,” Dean replied. I looked up and shook my head. “How do I know you three are legit, hmm?” she asked. Think Cassidy think. “Oh, trust me. We, uh... we're legit,” Dean told her trying to dig himself out of the hole he just created. “Well, I don't want any smart-ass article making fun of my boys,” she told them. “Listen ignore him. He’s just saying that because his ego was bruised with the real men comment. Truth is we’re huge fans. And when the boys cried I cried. It was as if I could feel their pain as my own,” I told her. “Hmm. You've read the books?” she asked. I looked to the boys hoping they would play along. “Cover to Cover,” Dean said.  
The publisher was still a little skeptical, but what I had said was helping to win her over. “What’s the year and model of the car?” she asked. I smiled knowing we had this in the bag. “It’s a 1967 Chevy Impala,” Dean answered with a smile; he truly loved Baby. “What's May 2nd?” she asked. “That's my – Uh... that's Sam's birthday,” Sam answered this time. I smiled at the fact he caught his slip up. “Sam's score on the LSAT?” she asked. “One…74,” Sam answered not completely sure. “Dean's favorite song?” “It's a tie. Between Zep's ‘Ramble On’ and ‘Traveling Riverside Blues.’” Dean said finally convincing her. “Okay. Okay. What do you want to know?” she asked. Great now we were getting somewhere. “What’s Carver Edlund's real name?” Sam asked. “Oh, no. I – No. Sorry, I can’t do that,” she said causing me to groan. I was hoping Sam had a way to convince her because this time I was at a loss. “We just want to talk to him. You know, get the ‘Supernatural’ story in his own words,” Sam tried to convince her.  
“He’s very private. It’s like Salinger,” she told us. Sam gave me a look that said he had an idea, but I probably wouldn’t like it. “Please. Like she said – we are, um...” he started while unbuttoning his shirt showing his anti-possession tattoo “…big…big fans.” He finished. Sam gave Dean and me a look. Dean pulled his shirt down to show his tattoo while I pulled mine up. The publisher looked at the boys and licked her lips. I could feel her arousal and had to swallow a growl; Sam was mine. “Awesome. You know what?” she asked before turning around and pulling her skirt up. “I got one too.” She said. I didn’t have anything to say to that. “Whoa. You are a fan,” Dean said. She grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something down. “His name's Chuck Shurley. And he's a genius, so don't piss him off,” she said. On the paper was his address.  
We pulled up to a house that looked very rundown. “This is where he lives?” I asked. Sam nodded and replied, “That’s what the paper says.” I shrugged my shoulders and walked up the steps with the boys. Dean and Sam shared a look before glancing back at me. I nodded my head; while we were all slightly freaked out we wanted answers. Dean rang the door bell and we waited. A man who looked like he had seen better days answered the door. “You Chuck Shurley?” Dean asked. “The Chuck Shurley who wrote the ‘Supernatural’ books?” Sam asked his own question. I could feel the worry and confusion coming from him. “Maybe. Why?” he asked in return. “I'm Dean. This is Sam. The Dean and Sam you've been writing about. And that’s Cassidy,” Dean said. Chuck closed the door in our face. “Well that was certainly rude,” I said.  
Dean rang the bell again and Chuck actually opened the door. “Look, uh... I appreciate your enthusiasm. Really, I do. It's, uh, it's always nice to hear from the fans. But, uh, for your own good, I strongly suggest you get a life,” Chuck said. He went to shut the door again, but Dean stopped him. “See, here's the thing. We have a life. You've been using it to write your books,” Dean told him forcing the door open. Chuck took a step back and we followed him in. “Now, wait a minute. Now, this isn't funny,” Chuck said. Well no duh we didn’t think so either. “Damn straight, it's not funny,” Dean told him. I gave him a pointed look trying to figure him out. Something felt off about him, but for the most part I was picking up nervousness and confusion. “Look, we just want to know how you're doing it,” Sam told him. “I'm not doing anything,” Chuck tried to explain. “Are you a hunter?” Dean asked. “What? No. I'm a writer.” Chuck replied. I put a hand on Dean’s shoulder stopping him. “He’s telling the truth. All you’re doing is freaking him out,” I said. Dean looked over at me confused. “Then how does he know so much about demons?” Dean asked before he advanced on Chuck, who fell onto the couch. “And Tulpas, and changelings?” Dean asked now looking at Chuck and not me.   
“Is this some kind of ‘Misery’ thing? Ah, it is, isn't it? It's a ‘Misery’ thing!” Chuck said. I raised a brow because it definitely wasn’t that kind of thing. “No, it's not a ‘Misery’ thing. Believe me, we are not fans!” Dean said raising his voice. “Well, then, what do you want?!” Chuck exclaimed. “I'm Sam. And that's Dean. And that’s Cassidy,” Sam told him. This time he caught my name and looked at me in confusion. “Sam and Dean are fictional characters. I made them up! They're not real! And Cassidy isn’t even in the books so were did you get that name?” Chuck asked. Dean felt it was a good idea to show him the car, maybe it would make him believe us. “Are those real guns?” he asked. Dean smirked and replied, “Yup. This is real rock salt, these are real fake IDs.” Chuck seemed to get even more nervous and confused. “Well, I got to hand it to you guys. You really are my number one fans. That’s, that’s awesome. So, I-I think I've got some posters in the house.” Chuck said turning to go back inside.  
“Chuck, stop.” Dean said. This caused Chuck’s nervousness to turn into fear. “Please. Wait. Please, don't hurt me,” He said. “How much do you know? Do you know about the angels? About Cassidy’s powers? Or Lilith breaking the seals?” Sam asked. Chuck was now back to being confused. “Wait a minute. How do you know about that?” Chuck asked. “The question is how do you.” Dean said. I looked to Chuck who was starting to freak out. “Because I wrote it?” he seemed to question himself. “You kept writing?” Sam asked surprised. “Yeah, even after the publisher went bankrupt, but those books never came out. Okay, wait a minute. This is some kind of joke, right? Did that – Did Phil put you up to this?” Chuck asked. I raised an eyebrow curious as to who Phil was. “Well, nice to meet you. I'm Dean Winchester, and this is my brother, Sam. And that’s his girlfriend Cassidy Matthews.” Dean said. Chuck seemed even more freaked out now. “The last names were never in the books. I never told anybody about that. I never even wrote that down. And Cassidy isn’t in any of the published books,” Chuck said.   
We followed Chuck back inside as he started to have a mental break down. He poured himself a drink, drank it all then turned toward us. “Oh! Oh, you're still there,” he said. Where did he think we were going to go? “Yeah where else would we be?” I asked. “You're not a hallucination,” Chuck said. I had to smile at that one; hallucination really? “Nope,” all of us said. “Well, there's only one explanation. Obviously I'm a God,” Chuck said and I bent over laughing. “You're not a god,” Sam said after giving me a pointed look. “What it was funny,” I said with a smile. Sam rolled his eyes, but smiled at me none the less. “How else do you explain it? I write things and then they come to life. Yeah, no, I'm definitely a god. A cruel, cruel, capricious god. The things I put you through – The physical beatings alone,” Chuck said feeling awful. “Yeah, we're still in one piece,” Dean told him. Chuck still felt horrible thinking it was his fault. “I killed your father. I burned your mother alive. And then you had to go through the whole horrific deal again with Jessica. And I killed your husband,” he said.  
My face fell as I thought about Jason. “That was a vamp not you,” I tried to reason with him. “All for what? All for the sake of literary symmetry. I toyed with your lives, your emotions, for... entertainment,” he cared on. “You didn't toy with us, Chuck, okay? You didn't create us,” Dean told him trying to make him understand. “Did you really have to live through the bugs?” he asked. Luckily I was not there for that one; I’m not afraid of bugs, but that many would be scary. “Yeah,” Dean replied. “What about the ghost ship?” Chuck asked. How many past cases was he going to bring up? “Yes, that too.” Dean answered. I could tell Chuck was still blaming himself and I wasn’t sure how we were going to make him think otherwise. “I am so sorry. I mean, horror is one thing, but to be forced to live bad writing... if I would have known it was real, I would have done another pass,” Chuck said. “Chuck, you’re not a God,” Dean and I said.  
“We think you're probably just psychic,” Sam explained to him. Chuck looked at Sam for a moment surprised. “No. If I were psychic, you think I'd be writing? Writing is hard,” Chuck said. While I didn’t doubt what he was saying, but psychics didn’t choose their visions; take Sam for example. “It seems that somehow, you're just... focused on our lives,” Sam told him. “In a creepy stalker way,” I said causing Chuck to frown, Dean to chuckle, and Sam to have a small smile. “Are you working on anything right now?” Dean asked. Chuck seemed like he had realized something. “Holy crap,” he said. “What?” Sam asked. He picked up some papers from a desk and looked at them. “The, uh, latest book? It's, uh, it's kind of weird,” he told us. “Weird how?” Sam asked. I wasn’t sure we were going to like the answer. “It's very Vonnegut,” he said turning toward us. “’Slaughterhouse-Five Vonnegut or ‘Cat's Cradle’ Vonnegut?” Dean asked intently. Sam was very surprised and said, “What?” causing Dean to reply, “What?” defensively. I chuckled at their banter. “It's, uh, ‘Kilgore Trout’ Vonnegut. I wrote myself into it. I wrote myself, at my house... confronted by my characters,” Chuck said before handing us the manuscript.


	24. A Major Declaration

Sam, Dean, and I had gone to the local laundromat so we could do laundry, obviously. Sam was washing their clothes while I washed mine; can’t wash my lacy bras and thongs with the rest of it they would ruin. And then I wouldn’t have anything sexy to wear; the horror. I’m being absolutely serious here; I’m not a girly girl in anyway and I prefer jeans and t-shirts, but I loved my sexy undergarments the made me feel good about myself. And that’s not something I felt very often. While we did laundry Dean sat in a chair reading Chuck’s latest manuscript. “I’m sitting in a laundromat, reading about myself sitting in a laundromat reading about myself. My head hurts,” Dean said. I slightly turned to him and said, “If I had a head like that and it didn’t hurt I’d see a doctor.” Dean gave me an un-amused look while Sam chuckled. “Seriously though there's got to be something this guy's not telling us,” Sam said before turning to throw his darks in the washer.  
“Sam tossed his gigantic darks into the machine. He was starting to have doubts about Chuck, about whether he was telling the whole truth.” Dean read. “Stop it,” Sam told him. “'Stop it,' Sam said.’ Guess what you do next?” Dean asked after reading the same thing Sam had just said. Sam was getting aggravated so he turned around with a scowl on his face. I could feel how much he doubted Chuck and his aggravation at Dean. “‘Sam turned his back on Dean, his face brooding and pensive. While Cassidy worried about Sam feeling his aggravation’ I mean, I don't know how he's doing it, but this guy is doing it. I can't see your face, but those are definitely your "brooding and pensive" shoulders. And Cassidy’s forehead is creased and she’s frowning.” Dean said. Okay now I’m the one developing a headache. Sam let out an exasperated sigh. “You just thought I was a dick. And Cassidy wished I would shut up,” Dean said. Sam and I both turned to him impressed. “The guy’s good,” Sam said.   
We had received a call from Chuck and so we returned to his house. He paced feeling even more nervous than when we were here before and was holding papers in his hands. “So... You wrote another chapter?” Sam asked. “This was all so much easier before you were real,” Chuck said. Well my live was easier before I found out monsters were real and you don’t see me acting like an anxious mess. “We can take it; just spit it out,” Dean told him. Chuck sighed and looked at Dean and me. “You two are especially not going to like this,” Chuck said. I looked to Dean and frowned what did that mean. “I didn't like hell,” Dean said with a biting tone. “It's Lilith. She's coming for Sam,” Chuck told us. “What?” I asked. If there was a demon I hated more than Ruby it had to be Lilith. Because in truth she was the one who tipped the first domino starting Sam on his downward spiral and him being vulnerable enough to trust Ruby. “Coming to kill him?” Dean asked.  
“When?” Sam asked. “Tonight,” Chuck told us. I got a pensive look on my face extremely worried about this whole thing. “Great just what we need,” I said. Sam noticing how upset I was grabbed me and pulled me toward him so he could hold me. “She's just gonna show up? Here?” Dean asked. If we were to be prepared we had to know everything. Chuck sat down and put on some glasses. “Uh…let’s see. ‘Lilith patted the bed seductively. Unable to deny his desire, Sam succumbed, and they sank into the throes of fiery demonic passion.’” Chuck read. I cocked my head completely confused. Sam would never cheat on me especially not with Lilith. Maybe Chuck’s visions weren’t as spot on as we thought. “You're kidding me, right?” Sam asked laughing. “You think this is funny?” Dean asked. “You don't? I mean, come on. ‘Fiery demonic passion’? Plus I have Cassidy why would I sleep with Lilith?” Sam asked in return. I could feel Sam’s confidence while Dean wasn’t completely sure after all the things his brother had kept from him.  
“It’s just a first draft,” Chuck tried to defend. I stood there thinking for a minute and realized when Dean and Sam told me about Lilith. How would what Chuck said even be possible? “Wait, wait, wait, wait. Lilith is a little girl,” Dean said giving voice to my own thoughts. “Yeah Chuck this makes no sense,” I said. “No, uh, this time she's a comely dental hygienist from Bloomington, Indiana.” Chuck told us. I shook my head finding this whole thing bonkers. “Chuck I think your visions are a little wacky. Sam would never be with Lilith.” I told him. Sam smiled at me glad that I trusted him as much as I did. “Great. Perfect. So what happens after the... ‘fiery demonic’ whatever?” Dean asked. He was pissed thinking about his brother and Lilith together. I don’t think he was thinking straight about this. “Dean, look, there's nothing to worry about. Lilith and me? In bed? I would never do that to her,” Sam gestured to me. Dean began to calm down thinking maybe Sam was telling the truth. “How does this whole psychic thing of yours work?” Dean asked. Maybe if he explained it we would be able to figure out why he saw something so preposterous. “You mean my process?” Chuck asked slightly confused. I kind of felt sorry for him. Here he was thinking he was just having some great ideas for books when boom he finds out its all real; that’s enough to drive some people insane.   
“Yes, your ‘process.’” Dean said. Chuck let out a heavy sigh saying, “Well, it usually starts with a headache. A really bad headache. Aspirin is useless, so... I drink. Until I fall asleep. The first time it happened, I thought it was just a crazy dream.” Too bad it wasn’t. “The first time you dreamt about us?” Dean asked. “It flowed. It just, it kept flowing. It still does. I-I can't stop it, really.” Chuck explained. “That must be horrible,” I said giving him a sympathetic smile. He nodded his head and gave me a smile in return. “You can't seriously believe…” Sam started. “No not while you have her, but it doesn’t hurt to know everything,” Dean said. I was grateful that Dean was giving Sam the benefit of the doubt. Dean stood up and Chuck handed him the manuscript. “Look, why don't we, we just...” Dean started before taking the manuscript. “…Take a look at these and see what's what,” he finished before looking at Chuck saying, “You…” “...knew you were gonna ask for that. Yeah.” Chuck told him.  
Dean was driving down the road, Sam in the passenger seat, and me in the back like usual. Sam had the manuscript and was looking at it skeptically. “Dean come on,” Sam said before he started reading aloud, “The minivan accident wasn't that bad, but Dean was still seeing stars. He scratched absently at the pink flower Band-Aids on his face.” I chuckled at the visual. “So,” Dean asked. “So, I've seen you gushing blood. You'd use duct tape and bar rags before you'd put on a pink flower Band-Aid. Even Cassidy wouldn’t wear one,” Sam said. “He’s right I wouldn’t,” I said agreeing with Sam. “What's your point?” Dean asked. “My point is this – all of this – is totally implausible, it's nuts,” Sam told him. More like bat-shit crazy, but I digress. “He's been right about everything so far. You think he's just gonna ground out at first now?” Dean asked. Sam let out a scoff as I said, “It’s possible I guess.” Dean gave me a pointed look through the mirror and I shrugged my shoulders. “Dean slid behind the wheel of his beloved Impala and drove off, the plastic tarp on the rear window flapping like the wings of a crow.” Sam read.  
I would give Chuck one thing he was very descriptive. “A tarp?” Dean asked. “Yeah. On the rear window. And you drive it like that,” Sam said. I frowned, thinking of poor Baby hurt. “Well, he might be wrong about the details, but doesn't mean he's wrong about the end result,” Dean said. That was possible I guess. Sam wouldn’t sleep with Lilith, didn’t mean she wouldn’t be here. “So we’re just gonna run?” Sam asked. As much as I hated running it seemed the smart thing to do. “Dude, we are a long way from ready for a face-to-face death match with Lilith,” Dean said. I put my hand on Sam’s shoulder making him look back at me, “He’s right Sam. I don’t want to risk losing you because we’re ill-prepared,” I said. Sam put his hand over mine and gave me a reassuring smile. It didn’t reach his eyes though and I could feel he really wanted to fight Lilith.   
There was a roadblock in front of us preventing us from leaving the town. A deputy approached us and leaned down to talk to Dean. “What seems to be the problem?” Dean asked. “Bridge is out ahead,” the deputy said. Okay what does that mean? “We're just trying to get out of town,” Dean said. The deputy shook his head saying, “Yeah, afraid not.” Great, just great this is the last thing we needed; trapped in a place Lilith was going to be. “Is there a detour?” Dean asked. I decided not to get my hopes up. “Nope,” deputy said. Now I felt he was purposely being unhelpful. “There's not a side road that takes us to the highway?” Dean tried again. “To get to the highway, you have to cross that river. To cross the river, you have to take that bridge,” he explained. “How deep's the river?” Dean asked. I had a feeling it was too deep for the Impala to go through. “Sorry. Afraid you boys and girl are gonna have to spend the night in town,” the deputy said before walking away.  
We drove back into town and headed to a diner. Dean now had the manuscript while Sam and I read the menu. “Hey, this could be a good thing. I mean, if this is what puts us on the path to Lilith, then all we got to do is get off the path,” Den said. “How do you mean?” Sam asked. “It's a blueprint of what not to do. I mean, if the pages say that we go left…” Dean started. “Then we go right,” Sam finished. It made sense let’s hope it worked. “Exactly. We get off-book. We never make it to the end. It's opposite day. It says that we, uh, we get into a fight. So, no fighting. No research for you and Cassidy.” Dean said. So a day without reading I could do that, right? “No bacon cheeseburger for you two,” Sam said. No reading or burgers this day is going to be awful. “Yeah, no problem. I'll just order something else,” Dean said looking slightly put out.   
The waitress approached our table. “Hi, uh, what's good?” Dean asked. “Well, if you like burgers, Oprah's girlfriend said we have the best bacon cheeseburgers in the country,” the waitress said. I let out a groan at the unfairness of it all. Sam just laughed at our misery. “I'll just have the cobb salad, please.” Sam told her. “I’ll have what he’s having,” I grumbled. “I'll have the... veggie tofu burger. Thanks,” Dean said. The waitress took our menus and left. “This whole thing's ridiculous,” Sam said. “Lilith is ridiculous?” Dean asked confused. “The idea of me hooking up with her is,” Sam told him. Dean looked at him like really is it now. “Right. Cause something like that can never happen,” he said. I frowned and wanted to tell him off, but maintained my cool, no fighting. “Yeah, but now he has me. I’m all the woman he can handle,” I said. Sam gave me a lustful look and whispered in my ear, “You know it babe.” Dean made a face and mumbled gross.  
“But seriously Dean, for the first time, we have warning that Lilith is close,” Sam said looking at him. “So?” Dean asked. I really hoped Sam wasn’t suggesting what I thought he was. “So... we've got the jump on her. If we know when she's coming, we know where she's – this is an opportunity,” Sam said. “Are you…” Dean started before calming himself. “It frustrates me when you say such reckless things,” Dean said as calm as possible. “Well, it frustrates me when you'd rather hide than fight,” Sam retorted. I went to say something, but the waitress approached giving us our food. “It's not hiding. It's being smart. It's picking your battles. This is a battle that we are not ready to fight,” Dean said once she left. I looked to Sam hoping he would listen. “Please Sam I don’t want to lose you,” I said. Sam looked at me and saw just how worried I was and let out a sigh. Dean took a bite of his burger and his eyes grew wide with surprise. “Oh, my god. This is delicious. Tofu is amazing!” Dean exclaimed. The waitress came back looking flustered. “I am so sorry. I gave you the bacon cheeseburger by mistake,” she said taking the plate away. So much for going right instead of left.  
Dean drove us to a very sleezy looking motel. “Dude, this place charges by the hour,” Sam said. “Yeah, well, the book says Lilith finds you at the Red Motel. Hence, the uh, hooker inn. It's opposite day, remember?” Dean said. I frowned and mumbled under my breath. “What was that?” Dean asked. I gave him my best bitch face. “These people are going to think I’m your hooker,” I said. Dean gave me a smirk and said, “Naw your to pretty and clean to be a hooker. More like a high paid escort.” Sam and I both hit him causing him to groan in pain. It served him right. Once inside the room Dean dropped a bag on the bed and started pulling some small string-tied bags out. “What are you doing?” Sam asked as Dean placed them around the room.   
“Couple of hex bags ought to Lilith-proof the room,” Dean explained. “So, what? I'm supposed to just hole up here all night?” Sam asked. It certainly looked that way. “That's exactly what you're gonna do, okay? And no research. I don't care what you do – use the Magic Fingers or have wild sex with Cassidy.” Dean said before taking Sam’s and my laptop. “Oh, dude, come on.” Sam said. “Just call it a little insurance,” Dean said. I was really beginning to hate this place and Chuck for that matter. “What are you gonna do?” Sam asked as Dean walked toward the door. “Well, the pages say that I spend all day riding around in the Impala. So I'm gonna go park her. Behave yourself, would you? No homework. Have sex,” Dean said leaving. I looked to Sam and shrugged.   
I climbed into the shower hoping things turned out differently than Chuck had written. I knew Sam wouldn’t sleep with Lilith, but if she showed up we weren’t ready to take her on. I could lose someone else I love and I wasn’t sure I could handle that anguish. I stayed in the shower longer than normal trying to wash away my worries. While drying off I caught what sounded like the end of a conversation. Chuck was feeling sympathetic while Sam seemed stressed and hopeful. “I'm sorry, Sam. I know it's a terrible burden – feeling that it all rests on your shoulders,” Chuck said. I dropped the towel and slipped on my underwear and jeans. “Does it? All rest on my shoulders?” Sam asked. I picked up my shirt, but paused before putting it on wondering what Chuck would say. “That seems to be where the story's headed,” he said. I felt my shoulders sag in defeat. It shouldn’t be all on Sam or Dean. They didn’t deserve that burden and I would help carry it as long as it was theirs to bare. “Am I strong enough to stop Lilith tonight?” Sam asked. “I don't know. I haven't seen that far yet,” Chuck said.  
I walked out of the bathroom just as Chuck left. Sam turned toward me and I knew he was worried. “How much of that did you hear?” he asked. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. “Just enough to know you think this all falls on your shoulders. Well let me tell you something Sam Winchester. You are not alone. You have me and I will always have your back no matter what. Through thick and thin. Understand?” I told him. He smiled down at me and moved a piece of hair behind my ear. “Are we married now?” he asked trying to lighten the mood. “Ha! You won’t land me that easy man! I know I’m quite the prize, after all, no need to start crying on me or anything,” I joked back. The moment was ended when Dean stormed into the room. “Come on. We're getting out of here,” he said. I looked at him concerned about how stressed and worried he was. “What? Where?” Sam asked. “Anywhere, okay? Out of this motel, out of this town. I don't care if we got to swim, we are getting out,” Dean said before looking around. I then noticed the hex bags he had put around the room were gone.  
What had Sam done with them while I was in the bathroom? “Dude, where are all the hex bags?” Dean asked. Sam looked at me slightly worried before looking at his brother. “I burned them,” he replied. “SAM?!” I questioned while Dean said, “You what?” That explains the worried look. Sam knew I would be upset about him burning them; we weren’t ready to face Lilith. “Look, if Lilith is coming, which is a big ‘if’—” Sam started before Dean interrupted, “No, no, no. It's more than an "if." Chuck is not a psychic. He's a prophet.” Wait he’s what now? “What?” Sam asked. “Cas showed up, and apparently Chuck is writing the gospel of us,” Dean explained. “Does that mean what I think it means?” I asked. Dean looked at me sympathetically and I felt myself anger. I didn’t need sympathy or pity; Sam wouldn’t have cheated. “Let's get the hell out of here,” Dean said. I nodded in agreement and went to grab my bag when Sam said, “No.” My steps faltered and I turned toward him a look of disdain on my face.  
“Lilith is gonna slaughter you. You really want to put Cassidy through that?” Dean asked. I looked at Sam praying he changed his mind. “She’s not going to slaughter me. I won’t put Cassidy through anything,” he replied. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. I was going to lose Sam and I hadn’t even got the courage to tell him I loved him yet. I felt it would scare him away or he would think we were moving to fast. “So what? You think you can take her?” Dean asked. I just stood there quietly watching the exchange at a loss for words. “Only one way to find out, Dean, and I say bring her on,” Sam said. “Sam…” Dean trailed off. “You think I'll do it, don't you? You think I'll go dark side,” Sam replied. I could feel Dean’s anger and disappointment. “Yes! Okay? Yes. The way you've been acting lately? The things you've been doing?” Dean said. Sam’s head shot up startled. Did Dean find out what I had known? That Sam was talking to Ruby. “Oh, I know. How you ripped Alastair apart like it was nothing, like you were swatting a fly. Cas told me, okay?” Dean answered. It was then I found my voice. “What’s he talking about? I knew you stopped Alastair from killing Dean, but not to that extent.” I said.  
“I didn’t think it was relevant,” Sam told me before turning to Dean. “What else did he tell you?” Sam asked. Not relevant? My anger began to build. “Nothing I don't already know. That you've been using your psychic crap, and you've been getting stronger. We just don't know why, and we don't know how,” Dean replied. I still didn’t say anything as my anger began to boil over. “It’s not what you think,” Sam tried to defend. “Then what is it, Sam? Cause I'm at a total loss,” Dean said picking up his bag. “Are you coming or not?” he asked. When Sam told him no he forcibly dropped his bag on the chair and stormed out. “What the hell Sam? I thought you said no more secrets. Being able to rip apart a demon as strong as Alastair is a pretty big secret,” My anger poured into my voice making Sam flinch at how raw and powerful it was. “I wasn’t trying to keep it from you. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you,” Sam said. “I don’t know how bout, babe you know how I’ve been working with Ruby even though you hate it. Well my powers have grown and I saved Dean by killing Alastair. Seems pretty simple to me,” I said venomously. Sam tried to pull me toward him to calm me, but I held my hand up to stop him. “Look I love you Sam, but this…I don’t know I got to think about this,” I said walking out the door Dean had just stormed out of. In my anger it hadn’t even registered that I told Sam I love him.   
I sat outside on a bench thinking about the argument Sam and I just had. Was I truly mad because he hadn’t told me or was it something else? He hadn’t really kept a secret he said he had put a stop to Alastair; it was my fault for not asking what that meant. Honestly I was more worried than anything now that I thought about it. What if Sam did go dark side? What if his powers killed him? Where would that leave me? I thought about what I had said to him before storming out. “Holy shit. You told him you loved him you idiot,” I said to myself. Before I could berate myself more about the slip up I heard the Impala pull in. Chuck was with Dean and I was confused. “Come on Cassidy I got a plan,” Dean said. I got up and followed him toward the hotel room. “I am the prophet Chuck!” he yelled as we burst into the room. I then realized Lilith was in the room and it looked like Sam had tried to fight her. “You've got to be joking,” she said standing up with the demon knife in hand. “Oh, this is no joke,” Dean said as the room began to shake. A great white light shown in the room causing me to squint my eyes. “You see, Chuck here's got an archangel on his shoulder. You've got about 10 seconds before this room is full of wrath and you're a piece of charcoal. You sure you want to tangle with that?” Dean asked her. She left her vessel and the fight for now.   
Dean drove down the road taking us out of town. “So a deal, huh?” Dean asked. It would seem that when I was outside thinking Lilith had showed up and offered a deal. “That's what she said,” Sam replied. I was glad he had turned it down. “To call the whole thing off – angels, seals, Lucifer rising, the whole nine?” Dean inquired. “That was the gist of it,” Sam said. Dean made a noise. “What?” Sam asked. “You didn't think once about taking it?” Dean asked. “You kidding me? Dude, you spent all day trying to talk me off the Lilith track. Plus I had something else on my mind,” Sam answered. I then realized that what I said hadn’t gone unnoticed. I cringed hating myself for blurting it out like I had. “Plus I could tell she was scared. She’s running from something,” Sam said. “Running from what?” I asked. “Don't know. But she was telling the truth about one thing,” Sam said. “What’s that?” Dean asked. “She's not gonna survive the apocalypse. I'll make sure of that,” Sam explained.   
Sam motioned for Dean to pull over and he did. He then looked at Sam and they seemed to have a conversation without saying anything. Dean got out and closed the door. Sam was feeling nervous as he turned to me. “Look what you said back there. You’re right I should have explained. I just didn’t think the details were important,” he told me. “No Sam I shouldn’t have got so mad. It’s just I was worried about losing you,” I replied. He leaned forward and gave me a small kiss. “Now that’s out of the way. I just have one thing to say,” Sam said. “What?” I asked confused and worried at the same time. “I love you too,” he proclaimed. My heart melted at his words. He hadn’t done any of the things I was worried about. I knew he had loved me, but admitting it out loud was another thing. I was glad things had turned out good in the end.


	25. Heartache and Pain

Things seemed to be getting worse for the boys instead of better. I mean they lose their mom to Azazel, then Sam loses Jess, next their dad sells his soul, after that Sam dies so Dean sells his, he goes to hell for 4 months causing Sam to befriend Ruby, they fight over Sam’s powers, and now they find out they had a half brother. When we had showed up to meet Adam Milligan I was almost as positive as Dean that it was a trap. The feelings I were getting from him were anger and revenge; makes little to no sense for a kid who needed help finding his mother. Turns out the real Adam Milligan was their brother, but a ghoul had killed him and his mother as retribution for the death of their father at the hands of John Winchester and taken his place. It would seem this whole family is doomed to heartache and pain. Sam had even tried to push me away after the case, but I put a stop to that.

“You need to get out while you can. Being around us will only get you killed,” Sam said sounding as heartbroken as he felt. He didn’t really want me gone, but he couldn’t stand the thought of me being hurt either. “I done told you once Sam Winchester and I’ll tell you again. I’m here for you no matter what till the end,” I replied. My face held a stern look trying to make him see I meant it. “I know that, but baby I don’t want you to die because of me,” Sam whispered as he held my arms looking down at me. “I was a hunter before I met you boys. If Bobby hadn’t been at my house that night I would already be dead. Not to mention I got angel in me Sam. So if something happens to me it’s not because I’m with the Winchesters. It’s because of who I am and the life I chose to live,” I explained. His resolve to push me away faltered as he pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me. “I love you Sam. I’m not going anywhere,” I mumbled into his chest, but he managed to hear me. “I love you too and I don’t want you too,” he replied placing a kiss to the top of my head.

They had both suffered so much and worried about what would happen to me. I was grateful I had them in my life and I promised I would do everything I could to make their lives better. With those thoughts I drifted into a dreamless sleep. My head rested on Sam’s arm as we lay on our sides facing each other. I had my arm over top his as he held me tight and our legs tangled together. It was maybe 20 minutes later when Dean woke us saying we had to meet Castiel somewhere. He drove us to a warehouse and we pulled out our flashlights to look around. “Well, what did he say, Dean? What was so important?” Sam asked. We were all upset about being drug here in the middle of the night. “If I knew, would I be here?” Dean asked in return. I could tell he was just as confused as we were. Sam, Dean, and I ascended a flight of stairs. The place we were in was completely trashed. “What the hell?” Dean muttered. “It looks like a bomb went off,” Sam replied. And it truly did. There were black marks all over the place that seemed to make out shapes, but I couldn’t tell what they were.

“There was a fight here,” Dean said looking around. “Between who?” Sam asked. Was Castiel here when the fight happened? If so why where was he now? Dean’s flashlight landed on a symbol painted in blood on the wall. It looked like the one Anna had made back at the cabin. “Check it out. Look familiar?” Dean asked. “Yeah, it does,” Sam replied. “Anna used something like that to wish the angels back to the cornfield,” Dean explained. It was then I started to feel pain; a headache from hell. I also felt extreme confusion and fear. “So, what? Cas was fighting angels?” Sam questioned. He then looked at me and saw the pained look on my face. I had figured out how to keep others emotions from combining with my own, but my new power was still overwhelming. “Cassidy what is it?” Sam asked. I pointed where I felt the emotions and pain coming from.

Dean went over and began to move the rubble. “Sam. Cassidy. Cas? Cas. Hey, Cas?” Dean called for us before talking to Castiel. It didn’t feel like him though and that confused me. “What's . . . ? What's . . . ? What's going on?” he stuttered. “Just take it easy. Take it easy,” Dean tried to calm him. I walked closer and looked at him. He had clearly been part of the fight, but this wasn’t Castiel. “Cas, you okay?” Sam asked. I shook my head. “That’s not Cas,” I said causing Sam and Dean to whip their head’s around. “What?” they both asked. “Ugh. Castiel. I'm not Castiel. It's me,” the answer came from the man on the ground. “Who’s me?” Sam asked. “Jimmy. My name's Jimmy,” he answered. So this was Castiel’s vessel, but where was Cas? “Where the hell is Castiel?” Dean asked. “He’s gone,” Jimmy replied. Well that sounds ominous.

We stopped and got food for Jimmy and me before going back to the motel. Jimmy was starving and I couldn’t blame him; I would be too. Actually I kind of was thanks to him. I slowly took a bite of my burger as Jimmy devoured his quickly. He made a noise of enjoyment not slowing down in the least bit. “You mind slowing down? You're gonna give me angina,” Dean said. If it wasn’t for the fact I felt some on Jimmy’s hunger I probably would have put my own food down. “I’m hungry,” he said. Well no duh you’ve had an angel riding you for how long? “When's the last time you ate?” Sam asked. He looked at me and saw I was eating even though I had not that long ago. “You okay?” he mouthed. I nodded my head as Jimmy answered him, “I don't know. Months.” He then began to eat ravenously again. “Mmm. Mmm. Mmm!” he moaned. Sam and Dean were more concerned with Cas than how hungry Jimmy was. “What the hell happened back there? It looked like an angel battle royale,” Sam questioned. “All I remember is a flash of light and I, uh . . . I woke up and I was just, you know, like, me again.” Jimmy explained.

I had finished my burger and fought the desire to eat another one. “So, what? Cas just ditched out of your meat suit?” Dean enquired. None of this was making sense. I may not have been as close to Cas as Dean was becoming, but I was still worried about him. “I really don't know,” Jimmy answered. “You remember anything about being possessed? Anything at all?” Sam asked. If he knew anything every demon under the sun would be after him. Probably would even if he didn’t. “Yeah, bits and pieces. I mean, angel inside of you, it's kinda like being chained to a comet,” Jimmy explained. Now I was grateful I could only feel the angel instead of both the angel and the vessel they inhabited. “Ah, that doesn't sound like much fun,” Dean said frowning. They both looked at me concerned. “Don’t worry I couldn’t feel what Jimmy was feeling until Cas was gone. Guess I can only feel the one running the show,” I tried to ease their worry. “Cas said he wanted to tell us something. Please tell me you remember that,” Sam practically begged. “Sorry,” Jimmy apologized. “Come on, what do you know?” Dean asked. “My name is Jimmy Novak. I'm from Pontiac, Illinois. I have a family,” he told us.

Sam and Dean went outside to talk while I sat with Jimmy. “I’m sorry you’ve been away from your family. I can tell you really miss them. I wouldn’t know what to do if I was away from the boys that long,” I told him. He looked at me with a sad smile. “You really do understand don’t you? I can see it in your eyes,” he said. I flushed and looked down. I thought I had got better at schooling my emotions, but apparently not. Or maybe it was just because I didn’t have a reason to hide them. “Yeah I do. I still miss my husband months later. I love Sam don’t get me wrong. And losing him would probably kill me, but I’ll always love and miss my husband,” I explained. He smiled at me grateful that I was willing to open up. It made it easier to deal with not seeing his family knowing that at least they were still alive.

When Sam and Dean came back inside an argument began. Jimmy wanted to go home, but the boys felt it wasn’t safe. As much as I hated to agree with them, they were most likely right. After sometime Jimmy gave up trying to leave and we all went to bed. Sam was going to keep first watch to make sure Jimmy didn’t try to leave so he told me to share Dean’s bed for now so that Jimmy could get some sleep. I didn’t mind sharing with Dean before I got with Sam, but now I was worried if we ended up cuddling like I was apt to do Sam would get jealous. He gave me a small kiss and said, “It’s fine you cuddle its not a big deal. I know nothing is going to happen I’m right here, I trust you, and you need sleep. I know you didn’t get much earlier.” I finally agreed and laid down. It didn’t take long and I was asleep. I was laying on my right side facing the other bed with one arm tucked under my pillow and the other at my side. I was once again woke up before I was ready. This time was because Jimmy had managed to escape.

Sam hurriedly packed his bag. Mine was still packed so I just slipped my jeans on over my sleep shorts, put a bra on, slipped my boots on, and put my hair in a ponytail. “Dean. Would you hurry up?” Sam questioned as Dean brushed his teeth. He laughed with the toothbrush still in his mouth. “Sorry, uh, this is funny to you?” Sam asked. “Mr. Big-Bad-Prison-Guard, Jimmy McMook give you the slip? Yeah, it's pretty funny. What were you doing, anyway?” Dean asked. I was wondering the same thing. Where had Sam been when Jimmy left? “I was getting a Coke,” Sam said. I instantly knew it for the lie it was, but didn’t bothering questioning it right now. It was imperative that we find Jimmy and an argument would slow us down. “Was it a refreshing Coke?” Dean joked. I decided joking was the better bet for now. “I doubt it Dean Pepsi is way better,” I added. Sam rolled his eyes at our antics and asked, “Can we just go, please?”

Dean was driving down the road when all of a sudden Anna was beside me. I screamed in surprise causing Dean to jerk the wheel. “Smooth,” Anna tells him. “You ever try calling ahead?” Dean asked. I just looked at her not happy about the surprise visit. “I like the element of surprise,” she replied. “Yeah well next time give a warning. I’d like to live a little longer,” I told her. She looked over at me with a small smile. “Cassidy my great niece. I see your powers have grown,” she said. I frowned not understanding if my grandfather was the nephilim who was the other person with powers in the family besides me? “You look terrific,” Dean flirted. I shot him an incredulous look. Now was certainly not the time. “Um, yeah, not the most appropriate time, Dean. You let Jimmy get away?” she asked. “Talk to ginormo here,” Dean threw Sam under the bus. “Sam. You seem different,” she said. He was different had been for awhile I just assumed it had something to do with his powers and didn’t question it. “Me? I don't know. Heh. A haircut?” Sam questioned back. “That's not what I'm talking about,” Anna told him giving him a meaningful look.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked. She ignored me and I fumed. There were few things that pissed me off in life. Being lied to and ignored were on the top of the list. “So, what'd Jimmy tell you? He remember anything?” Anna asked. I ground my teeth together wanting some answers. What did Anna know that I didn’t? “Why? What's going on?” Dean asked. “That’s what I want to know,” I put in my two scents. Once again Anna ignored me. “It's Cas. He got sent back home. Well, more like dragged back,” Anna explained. “To heaven? That's not a good thing?” Dean asked her. “No. That's a very bad thing. Painfully, awfully bad. He must have seriously pissed someone off,” Anna informed him. Well since she wanted to ignore me. I decided to do the childish thing and ignore her. I blocked out the rest of their conversation completely. We stopped at a gas station on the way to Illinois to fill the Impala up. “Hey Dean what do you think Anna meant earlier?” I asked leaning out my window as Dean filled the Impala up. “I don’t know Cassidy. Just talk to Sam when you get the chance,” he replied. I knew that was the end of the discussion as Sam came back and gave me a bottle of water and some apple chips.

We arrived at Jimmy’s house just in time for Dean to stab one of the demons with Ruby’s knife through the neck. The demon in the female’s body stood back up and approached Sam. He threw his hand up and tried to use his psychic powers, but they did no good. What was going on? “Go. Get them out of here,” Sam told us. Dean and I ushered Jimmy and his daughter out of the house. I ran back in to see Sam still having problems. “Aw. Can't get it up, can you, Sam?” she asked as Sam almost fainted. “No, but I can.” Dean tells her. He lifted the knife to kill her, but the demon fled before he could. I walked over and grabbed Sam. “Are you okay? Why couldn’t you kill her?” I asked. Sam looked up at me. “I’m fine,” Sam said, but before he could answer my second question Dean was pulling us out toward the Impala. When we got out there Jimmy and Claire were waiting for us. “Thank God,” Jimmy said. I looked around trying to spot his wife. “Where's your wife?” Dean enquired. “Right here,” she said walking up to us. I gave her a funny look knowing something was off, but my concern for Am pushed it to the back of my mind. It was a tight fit with all of us in the Impala, but we managed it so we could leave.

Dean pulled over once we made it far enough away. I climbed out of the car with Sam, Dean, and Jimmy. “You were right,” Jimmy said. This was one of the few times I hated being right. “I'm sorry we were,” Dean said apologetically. “I'm telling you, I don't know anything,” Jimmy informed us. I knew he was telling the truth, but the demons wouldn’t care. “I don't think they're inclined to believe you,” Dean replied. “No demons are dicks like that,” I agreed. “And even if they did, you're a vessel. They're still gonna wanna know what makes you tick,” Sam said. “Which means vivisection, if they're feeling generous,” Dean told him. Demons did seem to enjoy their torture. “I'm gonna tell you once again, you're putting your family in danger. You have to come with us,” Sam implored. I didn’t know who I felt sorrier for; Jimmy or his family. “How long? And don't give me that ‘cross that bridge when we get to it’ crap,” Jimmy asked. “Don't you get it? Forever. The demons will never stop. You can never be with your family. So you either get as far away from them as possible or you put a bullet in your head. And that's how you keep your family safe. But there's no getting out and there's no going home,” Sam said. “Well, don't sugarcoat it, Sam,” Dean told him. “I'm just telling him the truth, Dean. Someone has to,” Sam replied. I looked at him hurt with tears in my eyes. My sweet Sammy was never that cruel; what was going on with him? “Sam, he needs the truth, but you could have been gentler about it,” I said. Sam looked at me and saw how upset I was. “You’re right I’m sorry. It’s just—” Sam started. “You feel Jess would still be alive if someone gave you that speech,” I interrupted. He nodded his head. Would there ever be a day we didn’t blame ourselves for the deaths of our loved ones?

Sam hotwired a car for Amelia and Claire so they could go home. Sam, Dean, Jimmy, and I got in the Impala and left. It was raining and Jimmy was asleep against the window. “What the hell happened back there?” Dean asked. “What?” Sam questioned in return. “You know what Sam. I asked the same thing before Dean pulled us out of there,” I told him. I knew there were somethings he wanted to keep from Dean, but he promised me no secrets. “You practically fainted trying to gank a demon,” Dean added. Sam squirmed in his seat and I could tell he was aggravated at the questioning, but we deserved to know. “Okay, I didn't faint. I got a little dizzy,” Sam corrected him; because the logistics mattered right now. “Well, you can call it whatever you want. Point is, you used to be strong enough to kill Alastair. Now you can't even kill a stunt-demon number three?” Dean questioned. “What do you want me to say about it, guys?” Sam asked us. “The truth,” I murmured almost to quiet to hear. Sam shot me a questioning look. That was all I ever wanted from him; the truth and his love. “Well for starters, what's going on with your mojo? I mean, it's yo-yoing all over the place. I'm not trying to pick a fight here, okay? I just – you're scaring me, man. And I’m pretty sure you’re scaring Cassidy,” Dean told him. Sam sighed and said, “I’m scaring myself.”

Before I could say anything else his phone began to ring. “Hello?” he answered it. It was Jimmy’s wife; she was possessed and had his daughter. Dean turned the Impala around and headed toward the abandoned warehouse where Jimmy’s family was supposed to be. When we arrived we came up with a plan. “Alright, they're expecting you to come alone. That's exactly what you're gonna do,” Dean told Jimmy. “We'll work our way through the catwalks. We'll be right behind you,” Sam added. I gave him a smile and said, “You’ll be safe I promise.” “She’s right. All you gotta do is stay calm and stall. Let us do our job,” Dean said. I just hoped our plan worked. “You want me to stay calm? This is my family we're talking about,” Jimmy asked us. “Listen to me, this will work. You understand? Nobody's gonna get hurt,” Dean tried to reassure him. “Yeah, whatever. Give me a minute, okay?” Jimmy asked before walking toward the warehouse. “There's no way they're expecting him to come alone, Dean. You know this is probably a trap,” Sam said. “He’s right Dean. Those demons know us better than that,” I said. “Yeah, I know. That's why I have a plan,” Dean said.

Unfortunately his plan hadn’t worked out and we were captured. Four demons led us into the room where Jimmy, Claire, and a possessed Amelia were. “Nice plan, Dean.” Sam said. We were all pissed about being caught while Jimmy worried for his family and the demons were excited. “Yeah, well, nobody bats 1,000.” Dean replied. “Got the knife?” Amelia asked. One of the demons holding Sam showed her the knife. “And you know what's funny?” she asked. Dean being the smartass he is answered, “You wearing a soccer mom.” Leave it to him to say something like that. “Is I was actually bummed to get this detail, picking up an empty vessel. Sort of like a milk run. Now look who landed in my lap,” she continued not missing a beat. “Look lady only lap I’m sitting on is his,” I said nodding my head toward Sam. He looked at me and back to her. “Yeah, well, you got us, okay? Let these people go,” he said. “Oh, Sam. It's easy to act chivalrous when your Wonder Girl powers aren't working, huh? Now for the punch line. Everybody dies,” Amelia said before holding up a gun and shooting Jimmy in the gut. “Waste little orphan Annie,” She told one of the demons.

Amelia leaves the room while the demon walks around Jimmy and towards Claire, who is still tied to a chair and unconscious. The demon picks up a pipe and swings it towards Claire, but she suddenly grabs the pipe in one hand and places the other hand on the demon's forehead. The demon screams as he is exorcised in a bright light. Using the distraction, Sam, Dean, and I turn on the demons holding us. While we struggle, Claire broke free of her bonds. Although I knew it wasn’t actually Claire, the feeling I had told me it was Cas. Sam, Dean, and I continue to fight the Demons. I was fighting as hard as possible, but it was getting me nowhere. I hit the demon I was fighting only for him to knock me to the ground. I stood back up and kicked him knocking him back near Cas who exorcised him. Dean was being pummeled by the male demon, when Cas approached and placed his hand on his head, exorcising him. Sam who now had Ruby’s knife cut the neck of the female demon and drank her blood. He turned toward us, mouth still bloody, to see Dean, Castiel, (still in Claire's body) and I watching him in horror. Sam turned back and stabbed the demon through the heart with Ruby's knife, killing her, and then turned towards Dean, Castiel, and me again. He stands and holds out his hand, just in time to catch Amelia and exorcise her with his recharged psychic powers. Dean holds Amelia up and Cas goes over to Jimmy, who is dying from his gunshot wound.

So this was how Sam got so strong. I didn’t know whether I was more pissed or hurt that he had kept it from me. Should I blame him or Ruby? She was the one who got him addicted in the first place, but he could have come to me. I would have done my best to help him get away from it. Now I was horrified to learn just how bad he really was. I still loved him of course and I would fight to get past this. I just didn’t know what to do right now. What do you say to the person you love when you find out they’re addicted to demon blood? It’s not like there’s a book on what to do. Cas returned to Jimmy’s body after a short conversation. He went to walk past us, but Dean stopped him. “Cas, hold up. What were you gonna tell me?” he asked. Cas turned toward us and said, “I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean. I serve heaven, I don't serve man, and I certainly don't serve you,” before walking away.

Dean drove down the road as it continued raining. It was like the whether matched my feelings. I was so disappointed in myself for not seeing this sooner. I should have known not to let him talk to Ruby once he told me. I never trusted that stupid bitch and I should have listened to my gut instincts on this one. Why didn’t I? Because I felt I could trust the man who holds my heart. “All right, let's hear it,” Sam said. I looked at him wondering what he was talking about. “What?” Dean and I asked. “You saw what I did. Come on, stop the car, take a swing. Yell at me Cassidy tell me you don’t want to be with me,” Sam replied. I wasn’t mad well at least not at him. “I'm not gonna take a swing,” Dean said when I remained silent. “Then scream, chew me out,” Sam replied. “I'm not mad, Sam.” Dean said. Sam looked at me I just shook my head. “You’re not mad?” he asked us both. “Nope,” Dean answered. “I’m hurt you kept it from me. Hurt you felt you couldn’t come to me with a problem like this, but not mad,” I told him truthfully.

“Right. Look, at least let me explain myself,” Sam said. I was ready to listen to his explanation. I hoped if I understood the why’s and how’s that I could help him get past this. “Don’t. I don’t care,” Dean told him. But I did care probably more than I should. I wanted to help Sam because I loved him. Without even trying he had fixed me in more ways than I can explain and I wanted to do the same for him. “You don’t care?” Sam asked. “I do,” I said, but it came out so quiet I wasn’t heard. “What do you want me to say, that I'm disappointed? Yeah, I am. But, mostly, I'm just tired, man. I'm done. I am just done,” Dean told him. Done? What does that mean? Sam’s phone rang and he answered it. “Hey, Bobby.” He said. I couldn’t hear what Bobby was saying, but when Sam said, “What's going on?” I knew something was up. “What’d he say?” Dean asked. Sam told us he wanted us to get there as fast as possible so Dean pushed on the gas a little more.

When we got there we found Bobby near the panic room. “Well thanks for shaking a tail,” Bobby said. “Yeah, you got it,” Dean replied. Sam opened the door to the panic room. “Go on inside. I wanna show you something,” Bobby told him. Sam walked in and I went to follow, but Dean caught my arm. I looked at him in confusion, but he just shook his head. “All right. So, uh, what's the big demon problem?” Sam asked. “You are. This is for your own good,” Bobby said as he and Dean closed and locked the door. “What you can’t just leave him in there,” I said trying to get to him. Dean grabbed me and looked at me seriously. “Cassidy he has to get that crap out of his system. This is for the best,” he told me. Best for whom though I wonder. “Guys? Hey, hey. What?” Sam asked. I know he was freaked out and I didn’t know how to help. There was no way Dean was going to let me, let Sam out. Bobby closed and latched the window as I watched tears pouring down my face much like the rain had poured down the Impala’s windows earlier. My heart throbbed wanting to throw open that door and comfort Sam as he comforted me in return. His screams tore at me in every way possible, but Dean held me back. That is until I couldn’t take it anymore and ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I can't believe it but there are only 2 episodes left of season 4 meaning only 2-4 more chapters for this book. I can't believe its almost done. *Happy dance* I hope you guys are still enjoying this. If so comment and let me know what ya think


	26. How Much More Can My Heart Take?

My arms wrapped around my shins as my forehead rested against my knees. With every breath I took my body trembled. I couldn’t hold back my heart-wrenching sobs if I tried. My throat was sore from my screams of despair and sobs of woe. My eyes red and puffy making my vision blur. Nose so red I could probably give Rudolph a run for his money. My jeans were soaked and my hands cold. I don’t know how long I’d been out here sitting on one of Bobby’s junk cars screaming and cursing the heavens till I couldn’t scream anymore. All I know is I hated this. Sam didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve any of this. Sam was a sweet guy who had wanted a normal life. He didn’t deserve losing his mom and girlfriend to a demon or his dad for that matter. He didn’t deserve that same demon wanting him to lead an army. Sam didn’t deserve dying for a demon’s cause. He didn’t deserve watching his brother be dragged to hell leaving him a broken vulnerable shell of the man he once was. And he certainly didn’t deserve Ruby coming into his life, using his vulnerability to convince him to use his powers and get him addicted to demon blood.  
I wanted to be with him, holding him, comforting him, but I couldn’t. Dean and Bobby wouldn’t let me anywhere near him afraid that I would let him out. Because of that I couldn’t stand to be inside the house listening to him screams. How much worse would it be when he went into detox? Another sob racked my body at the thought. Gravel crunching stopped my crying for a moment. I wasn’t prepared if it was a monster, but then I could feel the worry and concern and knew it was Dean and Bobby. I looked up, but couldn’t see them yet through tear swollen eyes. When they finally came into view I didn’t say a word. I was to mad at them for locking Sam up and not letting me near him. “C’mon kid you need some sleep. Sam wouldn’t want you out here in the cold,” Bobby said. I snarled at him beyond pissed. “So now you care about what I need, what Sam would want? Well you have a shit way of showing it,” I snarked. Dean let out a sigh and stepped toward me slowly afraid I might lash out. “You think for one second I want to lock my brother up? You think for even one second I want to see my best friend in tears. Well think again missy cause I don’t, but ya know what I don’t what else to do. So unless you got a better idea we stick with this one,” he said.  
I reeled back almost as if I had been slapped. I knew Dean and Bobby cared and they were only doing this as a last resort, but I was mad. I needed somewhere to vent my anger and I didn’t know where to turn. I hoped off the car and walked toward him wrapping my arms around him and letting angry tears soak his shirt. For once it was Dean trying to comfort me instead of the other way around. I hadn’t hurt this much since losing Jason and because I was so distraught I couldn’t block the others emotions out making it a 100 times worse for me. Dean pulled back a moment and said, “Here drink this.” In his hand was a tumbler of whiskey. Had he been holding it the whole time or had Bobby just handed it to him? I took it and downed the whole thing in three swallows. The warmth soothed my throat and returned feeling to my cold appendages. “Thanks Dean,” I said trying to smile, but it wouldn’t come out. I started walking toward the house knowing the guys were worried about me, but before I could take more than five steps my world spun. I stopped where I was, shutting my eyes tight. The feeling didn’t pass and I soon began to feel the pulls of unconsciousness. Had Dean drugged me so I would sleep? Strong arms swept me up before I passed out on the ground. The last thing I remember is Dean’s worried face looking down at me.  
Waking up my head felt groggy and it took me a moment to realize what had happened. I should be pissed that they drugged me, but at the same time if they hadn’t I wouldn’t have got any sleep. I slowly sat up swinging my legs around to the floor. I quietly crept to my door and down the stairs. Dean and Bobby where busy talking and didn’t notice me as I snuck by. Sam’s cries for help made me pick up my pace as I raced to the panic room. I opened the door as quietly as possible not wanting to alert the others. I wrapped my arms around Sam who was sitting on the floor and pulled his head to my shoulder. “Shh it’s okay Sam I’m here. I’m sorry I wasn’t sooner they wouldn’t let me,” I told him. His arms wrapped around me tightly almost as if he was afraid I would disappear. What had he been through while I was passed out? Sam never said a word just sat there holding me like a life line. That is until his body started to shake violently in a seizure. I turned his body on his side, but I really didn’t know what else to do.  
I heard footsteps indicating Dean and Bobby had shown up. Before I could say a word Sam’s body was ripped from my hands and flung against the wall by an invisible force. Dean and Bobby rush in grabbing him to pull him over to the cot. They chain him down so that if he had another fit he wouldn’t get hurt. Dean and Bobby tried to get me to leave with them, but I refused wanting to be there for Sam. I ran my hand through his hair my other resting on his chest feeling it rise and fall with every breath. It helped reassure me that he was still alive. When Sam woke up he looked at the chain then me. “They didn’t have a choice the blood was flinging you around the room. I don’t know what to do here Sam. Tell me what to do to help you,” I pleaded. I didn’t get an answer though as Sam looked somewhere else in the room. “You know why,” Sam said. I look at Sam wondering what he’s seeing. “Of course,” he said. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I frowned in worry. Sam was clearly hallucinating, “Point? How about 'stop the damn apocalypse'?” Sam asked. I grabbed his face and turned him to me, hoping my touch would ground him in the moment.  
“Hey look at me. I’m the only one here okay. And if anyone else shows up I’ll tell you. So is that why you did it? You started drinking it so you could stop the apocalypse?” I asked. Sam looked at me and nodded. “At first I did it because Ruby convinced me it would make me strong enough to kill Lilith. Then I realized killing her would stop the apocalypse and I’m the only one who can,” Sam explained. I understand why he did it. Not that I condone it, but I understand. I just wish he would have come to me about it. “Yeah I get that. I want to stop it too Sam, but becoming an addict isn’t the answer. Getting clean may kill you and I can’t handle that. I wish you would have came to me Sam. Told me about the blood. I would have done what I could to help you. I love you,” I told him. He looked down and the pain, sorrow, and anguish rolled off him in waves. It was almost suffocating. “I didn’t want you to think I’m a monster. I couldn’t handle you and Dean seeing me that way. Now he does and I’m sure you aren’t far behind,” Sam mumbled.  
I grabbed his chin and made him look me in the eyes. “I could never see you as a monster Sam. Not the man who mended my broken heart. You put me back together. Without you I’m lost. I can’t do this without you Sam. And Dean loves you he doesn’t see you as a monster,” I said my voice cracking with the heartache I felt. Sam wrapped the arm that wasn’t chained around me in a fierce hug. “I love you and I swear when Lilith is dead I’m going to show you how much. But you’re wrong about Dean. He does see me as a monster,” Sam whispered in my ear. When I pulled back I noticed that Sam was looking somewhere other than me. Was he seeing Dean? Was the hallucination calling him a monster? My heart broke all over again for Sam. “Don't say that to me. Don't you say that to me,” Sam yelled. “Sam I promise it’s just you and me here. Please ignore whatever fake Dean is saying,” I begged. His eyes flashed back to mine and understanding dawned in them. He was beginning to realize I was the only one with him.   
Sam calmed down and went back to sleep for a bit. I decided to step outside for some fresh air while he slept. I took in a deep breath and looked up at the sky. You’d think after all the lives we’d saved we would be allowed a little happiness, but apparently that isn’t in the cards for us. I heard a scuffle and went toward it. What I found was Bobby pointing a gun at Sam. How had he got loose? “What are you doing Bobby?” I asked. “Trying to get this idjit to come back inside,” he answered. I looked at Sam knowing what he was planning, but couldn’t stop it if I tried. He knocked Bobby out and threw the gun on the ground. “I’m coming with you,” I told him as I climbed in the car he was hotwiring. “You sure?” he asked. “I told you I’m here no matter what. I plan to stick to that,” I answered. He got in and we drove away. While on the road we stopped and took another car trying to keep Dean from finding us. I hated things had gotten so strained between the boys. It was hurting me as much as them; they were my family.   
We booked the honeymoon suite in a decent hotel as it was out of the norm for Sam. “So how do you think you got out of the room?” I asked him looking around. “Ruby maybe I don’t know. All I know was the cuff came off and the door was open,” Sam said sitting on the bed. I walked over and stood between his legs. “Were you really going to just leave me?” I asked looking down into his hazel eyes. “I didn’t want to. I would never want to leave you behind. I love you too much, but I couldn’t risk Dean catching me,” he explained. The sincerity in his voice and the love in his eyes had me pushing my lips to his in a hungry kiss. Before things got too heated a knock sounded on the door. “Sorry babe. It’s probably Ruby,” Sam said getting up to answer the door. It is the demon slut and I want to rip her face off. Unfortunately I know Sam needs her. Quitting cold turkey was going to kill him as evidenced by the seizure and hallucinations. “I see you brought the little girlfriend,” she spat. I snarled and took a step forward. “What’s to stop me from killing you right now?” I asked. Sam put his arm in front of me to keep me from getting closer. “Cause Sam wants me here. He needs me,” she gloated. I let out a sarcastic laugh. “What he needs is the blood you got him addicted to. Way I see it I drain your blood so he can slowly wean himself of it and you die. It’s a win win,” I gave her a pointed look.   
Ruby grabbed the ice bucket the hotel offered and slit her wrist. The blood poured in it slowly. “He’s gonna need more going so long without it and his powers being so strong now. But that’s a good thing he’s strong enough to kill Lilith. And just in time to,” she said. I cocked my head to the side curious. “What’s that suppose to mean?” Sam asked. “The finial seals are breaking,” she replied. My eyes widened in slight panic as I looked at Sam. “How many are left?” he asked. “Three...two...” she said as she handed the now full bucket to Sam. I looked anywhere, but him as he began to drink that bitch’s life source. I swear once Lilith is dead she’s next. “What? Where are the angels?” Sam enquired. “Good question,” I mumbled. “Screwing the pooch, wherever they are. The point is it's looking more and more like we're getting down to the final seal. And I found out something big,” Ruby answered. “Oh wow you actually have useful information,” I snarked. “Seal sixty-six. It can't be broken by just any demon. Apparently, only Lucifer's first can do it,” she told Sam completely ignoring me.   
“Lucifer’s first?” Sam and I asked. “Demon Sunday School story. God prefers humans to angels. Lucifer gets jealous and then he gets creative. And he twists and tempts a human soul into the very first demon as a 'screw you' to God. It's what got him locked up in the first place,” Ruby explained. Well that certainly is interesting. “That was Lilith?” Sam asked. “She's way older than she looks,” Ruby told us. It would seem that’s the case. “Wait. So if Lilith is the only one who can break the final seal, if I get to her in time—” Sam started. “Then Lucifer never busts out of his cage. Exactly,” Ruby finished. “Okay so kill Lilith stop the apocalypse. Sounds like I plan,” I said. Sam smiled at me glad I wasn’t trying to attack Ruby at the moment verbally or otherwise. “Sounds like it. You figure out where she is?” Sam asked Ruby. “The bitch can hide. But I finally have a lead on someone who might be able to help us. I closed in on a member of Lilith's entourage. You might call her a personal chef,” Ruby informed. Why does that sound less appealing than it should? “Chef? Seriously? What does she eat?” Sam asked. “You don’t want to know,” Ruby told us.   
The demon we were after was possessing a nurse so she could steal babies. I went to the bathroom to take a quick shower. I hadn’t had one since the warehouse and I felt disgusting. I cleaned myself off as quickly as possible not trusting Ruby alone with Sam. We had stopped at a truck stop on the way here and I grabbed some clothes and deodorant. They weren’t what I would normally wear, but it was better than dirty clothes. When I walked back into the room Dean and Ruby were fighting. I just let it happen hoping he killed the skank. “No. Let her go. Just take it easy,” Sam said. “Well, it must've been some party you two had going, considering how hard you tried to keep me from crashing it. Well, solid try, but here I am. And you Cassidy how could you be a part of this?” Dean turned his anger on me. I shrunk back not enjoying Dean’s wrath. “Dean, I'm glad you're here. Look. Let's just talk about this,” Sam pleaded. “Soon as she's dead, we can talk all you want,” Dean replied. His eyes flashed to me a moment and I nodded in agreement. I wanted Ruby dead. “Ruby, get out of here,” Sam told her. “No, she's not going anywhere,” Dean said. Ruby made her escape as Sam watched.  
“She's poison, Sam.” Dean tried to reason. “It's not what you think, Dean.” Sam tried to explain. “Look what she did to you. I mean, she up and vanishes weeks at a time, leaves you cracking out for another hit—” Dean started. “She was looking for Lilith,” Sam interrupted. “That is French for manipulating your ass ten ways from Sunday,” Dean told him. That was when I finally decided to say something. “He’s right Sam. It’s the same thing drug dealers do. The get you hooked and leave you jonesing for more. I didn’t come with you because I approve of this Sam. I did it because I love you and I didn’t want you to think you’re alone,” I told him. “You’re both wrong,” Sam said. I felt so sorry for Sam in that moment; not realizing how he was being used. “Sam, you're lying to yourself. We just want you to be okay. You would do the same for us. You know you would,” Dean told him. “Just listen,” Sam said holding his hand up. When he realized he still had the demon knife in his hand he threw it on the bed. “Just listen for a second. We got a lead on a demon close to Lilith. Come with us, Dean. We'll do this together,” Sam tried to convince him.  
“That sounds great. As long as it's you, me, and Cassidy. Demon bitch is a dealbreaker. You kiss her goodbye, we can go right now,” Dean replied. I hoped and prayed to whoever would listen that Sam would agree. “I can’t,” Sam told him. My heart plummeted hearing those words. I finally had a family again and it’s being torn apart. Dean turned away from us nodding his head. “Dean, I need her to help me kill Lilith. I know you can't wrap your head around it, but maybe one day you'll understand. I'm the only one who can do this, Dean.” Sam tried to get Dean to see his side. “What’s she going to do is end up getting you killed Sam,” I told him. Dean turned back around and looked at us. “No, you're not the one who's gonna do this,” Dean said. “Right, that's right, I forgot. The angels think it's you,” Sam snarked. “You don't think I can?” Dean asked. At this point silent tears were pouring down my face. I hated that they were fighting and couldn’t just come to some type of agreement. “No. You can't. You're not strong enough,” Sam replied. “That’s the demon blood talking,” I said at the time Dean said, “And who the hell are you?” “I'm being practical here. I'm doing what needs to be done,” Sam said.  
Yes because this whole running from your brother and drinking demon blood screamed practical. “Yeah? You're not gonna do a single damn thing,” Dean demanded. “Stop bossing me around, Dean. Look. My whole life, you take the wheel, you call the shots, and I trust you because you are my brother. Now I'm asking you, for once, trust me,” Sam pleaded with his brother. “He’s not trying to boss you Sam. He’s trying to save your life. We don’t want to lose you why can’t you understand that?” I asked. “She’s right. You don't know what you're doing, Sam.” Dean tried to get through to Sam. “Yes, I do,” Sam replied. “Then that’s worse,” Dean exclaimed. “Why? Look, I'm telling you—” Sam started. “Because it's not something that you're doing, it's what you are! It means—” Dean interrupted, but cut himself off. “What? No say it,” Sam pushed. I looked at Dean. “Please don’t you know it’s not true,” I begged. My words fell on deaf ears or so it seemed. “It means you're a monster,” Dean finished. The tears poured down my face and I even saw them fall from Sam and Dean’s eyes.   
A fist fight broke out between them shortly after. My throat still sore from screaming the other night protested greatly as I yelled trying to get them to stop. “Stop it. Sam stop this. You’re really gonna let that demon bitch tear your family apart?” I yelled. They had broken almost everything in the room. At one point I tried to pull them apart and got an elbow to the eye. So now my throat hurt, my eye was throbbing, and my heart felt heavy with sorrow. It wasn’t completely broke, but I didn’t know how much more it could take. Sam was dominating the fight and pinned Dean down choking him before letting go. “You don't know me. You never did. And you never will,” Sam said. He walked away and I went to follow when Dean’s words to Sam stopped me, “You walk out that door, don't you ever come back.” I looked at Dean for a moment not knowing what to do. I loved Sam with all my heart and he was hurting emotionally, but Dean was like a brother and he was hurt physically as well as emotionally. “Go with him,” he mouthed letting me know a small part still cared. I followed after Sam as quickly as I could. I just hope there was a way to fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still can't believe this is almost done. I really hope everyone has enjoyed it. Please comment and leave kudos if you have.


	27. The End is here

Sam’s large frame was nowhere in the hall when I followed after. I watched him get into a car with Ruby and jumped in the Escalade we had stole before and quietly followed. I did my best to stay back so they didn’t notice me. Last thing I needed was for them to take off and lose me; I had never chased anyone before. I parked the car a distance from theirs and walked toward them. “Look, I know what I gotta do. It's okay, I'm just saying, Dean's better off as far away from me as possible. Cassidy too for that matter. Anyways. Doesn't matter, let's just get this done with,” Sam said as I walked up. They went to climb in the car so I jogged up grabbing Sam’s hand. I could feel his surprise and Ruby’s anger. I ignored her and focused on Sam. “Don’t you say that Sam Winchester. We are not better off away from you,” I told him. I pulled his hand and put it on my chest. “You feel that?” I asked. He nodded his head. “Before you I thought my heart had quit working Sam. I know you think you’ve become a monster, but I know you love me and that tells me you aren’t a monster. Cause monsters don’t know how to love. And I love you more than I thought possible,” I said. Sam’s eyes began to water as he pulled me in for a kiss. All the sadness and anger from his fight with Dean and his love for me poured into that kiss. I held him tight letting him know I wasn’t letting go anytime soon. We all climbed into the car and headed for the hospital.  
Sam used his powers to pull the nurse toward us and slam her into a wall. “So. We need to talk,” Sam told her calmly. We took her with us back to the farmhouse cellar for interrogation. A small fire was lit in the corner providing warmth and light to the room. I hung back staying out of the way; torture wasn’t my thing. “What, no devil's trap?” the demon asked as she struggled. “I don’t need one,” Sam replied. Watching him made me wonder if demon blood made his powers stronger would angel blood do the same to me? Not that I wanted to try it and find out I was just curious. “Look at you -- all 'roided up. It's like A-Rod and Madonna over here. And little angel in the outfield watching,” the demon mocked. “Where’s Lilith?” Sam asked. “I’m not scared of you,” the demon replied. Sam looked at me and I nodded my head letting him know she was. “Yeah, you are, actually. And with good reason,” Sam told her. “Look... what's my upside? Okay, I tell you, you kill me. I don't tell you, you still kill me. I get away somehow, Lilith will definitely kill me. So where's my carrot?” she enquired. She honestly thought we should give her something for the information? Like that was going to happen. “I think what you should be worrying about is what happens before you die,” Sam told her. He held his hand up and began to concentrate. The demon on the table began to writhe and scream in agony. It hit me for a moment, but then I took a deep breath and concentrated; I knew what she felt, but didn’t feel it myself anymore.  
The demonic nurse continued to scream in absolute agony. After awhile I had put my ear phones in listening to music to block it out. “Stop! Stop! Please!” she begged. I took my ear phones out noticing she was talking. “You'll tell me where she is?” Sam asked. “Fine. Fine. Just... let me die,” she pleaded with him. Sam dropped his hand ending the torture. “Deal,” he told her. “Tomorrow night, midnight. She's gonna be at a convent -- St. Mary's, Ilchester, Maryland,” the demon said breathing heavy. “A convent?” Sam questioned curiously. “Lilith... She's gonna break the final seal,” the demon explained. “And what is the final seal?” Sam questioned. “I don’t know,” she replied. Sam began to torture her again making me squirm. I really didn’t like this side of him. I hated how Ruby made him like this. As soon as Lilith was gone I was killing that bitch and that’s final. “Aaaah! I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! I swear! Please! I'm begging you. Kill me, please!” she screamed in pain. “Fine,” Sam said reaching his hand out to kill her. “Wait. You can’t,” Ruby stopped him. “Why not?” Sam asked. “Because we've got to take her with us. It's the final run on the Death Star, and you need more juice than I got,” Ruby said.  
Wait does she mean what I think she means? “You mean for him to drain her?” I asked. She looked at me smirking. “Yep she’s a walking, talking can of whup-ass,” Ruby replied. “You promised,” the demon said. “I know. Just can't trust anyone these days,” Ruby told her. “Tell me about it,” I said looking her dead in the eye. “Well, least you won't be able to crack me open that easy,” the demon said confusing me. “That so?” Ruby asked. “Don't forget -- it's not just me you're bleeding. In fact, I think I'm gonna take a little... siesta in the subconscious -- hand over the wheel for a little bit,” she replied. I looked at Sam in confusion knowing he was just as confused. “What are you talking about?” Sam asked. “Cindy McClellan, R.N., come on down!” the demon yelled closing her eyes and relaxing. “What...” she lets out a groan “Where am I?” she struggled to get free “Oh, my god, I can't move. What's going on? Help! Help me, please,” she begged. “Great,” Ruby said annoyed.  
Back in the motel Sam started reaching the convent. “You got to be kidding me,” Sam said at the same time I said, “Damn. “What?” Ruby asked. I was standing behind him my arms resting on his shoulders reading the laptop along with him. “Get this. St. Mary's -- abandoned in '72 after a priest disemboweled eight nuns,” Sam read the article out-loud. “What's black and white and red all over?” Ruby joked. I snarled at her not enjoying the joke one bit. “That's not funny. The priest said it wasn't his fault. He said a demon made him do it. And that he even remembered the demon's name,” Sam continued to read. “Yeah?” Ruby questioned. “Azazel,” Sam replied. “Wow. So, Lilith, Yellow-Eyes -- all the A-listers are paying visits. Certainly gives the joint credibility,” Ruby said. I nodded my head in agreement then shuddered in disgust; can’t believe I agree with her. “As a place where the final seal goes down,” Sam said. “Well, it's good enough for me. Let's pack up Nurse Betty and hit the road,” Ruby said making me frown. I didn’t like the idea of them killing this woman for Sam to drink her blood. “Hey, maybe, um... look,” Sam started. “What?” Ruby interrupted. “M-maybe we can find another demon,” Sam told her. “Sam, no. That blubbery ‘don't hurt me’ crap -- it's just an act. She's playing you,” Ruby told him. “No she isn’t trust me,” I said. “Even if she's not, there's still a hell-bitch snoozing in there. I mean, come on. It's not like you haven't done this before, right?” Ruby questioned. “This is a little different we never had to hear the pleas of the innocent being possessed before,” I told her. Sam looked at me then Ruby. “She’s right Ruby that’s an innocent woman,” he told her. “You do realize if he doesn’t do this Lucifer will be free. Who knows how many people he will kill. Is one life really more important than the rest of humanity?” Ruby questioned.  
I hated how right she was. I never thought I would see the day I would be willing to sacrifice an innocent. It made me feel dirty and sick to my stomach. I sat in the car as Sam drug Cindy from the farmhouse and toward the car. Sam’s hatred for himself at having to do this was overwhelming. I curled into myself and held back a sob. I was supposed to be helping Sam get past this not sitting back allowing him to kill this woman. I just didn’t know what to do because as much as it pained me to admit it Ruby had a point; it’s the lives of the many versus the lives of the one. “No. Please don’t. Just listen to me, okay? My name is Cindy McClellan. I'm a nurse in the NICU over at Enfield Memorial. I have a husband named Matthew, okay? We've been married six years. He's got to be worried sick about me. And I don't even know who you are, and I'm not gonna tell anybody anything. Please just let me go,” Cindy begged as Sam brought her closer to the car. He opened the trunk and she started screaming, “No! No! Please, no! Please—” Sam shoved her in and shut it muffling her cry, “—Help”  
Ruby was driving down the road Sam sitting in the passenger seat staring at his phone; Dean had left him a voicemail. “What are you -- a 12-year-old girl? Just play it already,” Ruby told him. “Mind your own business,” Sam and I said. Cindy once again thumped against the trunk screaming to be let out. “God, I wish she would just shut up,” Sam said. “I don't get it. All the demons you cut with the knife -- what do you think happens to the host? How is this any different?” Ruby questioned. Didn’t I explain that to her earlier? “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Sam asked. I ran my hand through his hair trying to calm him. “I know that you're having a tough time here, Sam, but we're in the final lap here. Now is not the time to grow a persqueeter,” Ruby griped. Sam isn’t the only one having a tough time, but I’m finding it hard to find a way out of this; we have to  
stop Lilith. “Would you drop the friggin' attitude? I'm about to bleed and drink an innocent woman. While she watches,” Sam replied aggravated. “And save the world as a result,” Ruby told him. “I don't know. I-I just... I'm starting to think... maybe Dean was right,” Sam said looking down at his lap. “About what?” Ruby asked. “About everything,” Sam replied. I wrapped my arms around him from the back doing my best to hug him. “We're gonna see this through, right, Sam? Sam?” Ruby questioned.  
I sent her a glare. “You shut that trap for once,” I said turning toward Sam. I put my mouth next to his ear and whispered, “Dean is not right. If you were a monster you would have no problem killing that woman. And I know it pains you to have to do it. It hurts me knowing you have to. Do I agree with what you are doing? No, but I promised you I would always be there and if that means letting you drink demon blood so you can kill Lilith and stop the apocalypse then so be it. I love you Sam and we will get through this.” Sam pulled my hand to his lips and kissed. “Marry me,” he said catching me completely off guard. I didn’t think I had heard him right, no I couldn’t have. Earlier he said being as far from him as possible was the best thing and now he’s asking me to marry him. “What?” I asked confused. Completely ignoring the fact Ruby was there he turned in the seat and looked me in the eyes. “If we make it out of this marry me,” he said. I looked at him in surprise. “I’m serious. You’ve seen me at my worst and are still willing to be here with me. I love you with everything in me and as hunters we aren’t promised tomorrow so I’m asking now. If we survive killing Lilith will you marry me?” Sam asked. I had tears pouring from my eyes only this time they were happy ones. “Yes Sam. If we survive I would love to marry you,” I replied.  
We stood by the car staring at a sign that reads St. Mary’s Convent—2 miles. Cindy was still screaming in the trunk of the car. Sam let out a sigh still upset about having to do this. I grabbed his hand threading my fingers through his. “It’ll be okay I promise,” I told him. Sam pulled his phone from his pocket to and looked at it. He hit the button to play Dean’s voicemail. “Listen to me, you bloodsucking freak. Dad always said I'd either have to save you or kill you. Well, I'm giving you fair warning. I'm done trying to save you. You're a monster, Sam -- a vampire. You're not you anymore. And there's no going back,” it said. Sam’s heart broke and I squeezed his hand in comfort. How could Dean say something like that to Sam? I couldn’t believe it…no I refused to believe it. Something seemed off about that voicemail and I planned to find out what. “Do it,” Sam told Ruby as I pulled out my phone calling Dean. It was all static and I knew something was I was right; something is off, but what?  
Sam rounded the corner in the convent and Lilith slammed the door between them. He didn’t let that deter him though as he stalked forward and opened the door. As soon as he was in the room he flung his hand out forcing Lilith into the altar and onto the ground. Sam and Ruby advanced while I hung back knowing if I was in the room Sam would be distracted. I didn’t want him to die because he lost concentration. Sam flung his hand out again forcing Lilith against the altar. I looked beside me hearing footsteps it was Dean. Maybe now I could get to the bottom of that voicemail. Before I could say a word the door to the sanctuary slammed shut. “What’s going on Dean?” I asked. “Lilith isn’t breaking the seal. She is the seal,” he told me. My eyes widened as I ran for the door and started pounding on it, but it wouldn’t budge. “Sam!” Dean yelled. I could feel Ruby’s excitement. That bitch, I knew she had been playing Sam all along. She wasn’t trying to stop Lilith she was trying to make sure Sam killed her. Dean grabbed a large candelabra and began to beat on the door trying to bust it down.  
The door finally gave way and Dean pulled the angel blade handing it over and pulled the demon blade for himself. This was a long time coming we both wanted her dead. “You’re too late,” Ruby said smugly. “I don’t care,” Dean said as we advanced toward her. Sam stood up and grabbed her from behind giving Dean and I the chance to stab her. She flickered white and then crumbled to the floor dead; finally. “I'm sorry,” Sam said sounding so broken. I grabbed his hand to pull him out of there as Dean said, “Sammy, let's go.” A brilliant white light shot into the air and the convent began to tremble. Sam grabbed a hold of me tight pulling me in between him and Dean. Dean was holding Sam’s jacket tight making me into a sandwich. “Dean, Cassidy…he’s coming,” Sam said. Another bright light flashed and then everything turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret to announce that this is the end. I can't believe I've finally finished this. But I'm so happy with how it's turned out. I hope all of you have enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please comment and leave Kudos if you have. Also just so you know there will be a sequel. I already have the name figured out it's Keeping Love Alive


	28. Epilogue

Life was hell on earth, quite literally after Lucifer had been set free.  Sam, Dean, and I worked harder than we ever had before to slam the devil back into his cage. Of course in between working cases and trying to find a way to defeat the prince of darkness, Sam and I got married like planned. It wasn't anything fancy. Just me, Bobby, Dean, Cas, and Sam. Bobby had walked me down the aisle, Cas had officiated, and Dean was the best man/maid of honor. 

The plan to to get Lucifer back in the cage was pretty straight forward. Simple. Sam says yes and jumps in. Of course I was completely against it. I didn't want to lose my husband. Not a second time. Losing Jason had nearly killed me. I didn't think I could handle losing Sam as well. And so without them knowing it I had forged in secret a second plan. Right before Sam could say yes I opened the cage and tackled Lucifer falling in with him.

Hell wasn't a fun place to be. Lucifer was annoying, but at least he didn't torture me in anyway. He just never shut up. I was a little surprised by his lack of torture, but he said it had something to do with the fact he respected me for sacrificing myself and doing it so underhandly that the Winchesters never saw it coming.

Needless to say when Cas showed up and rescued me I was beyond grateful. I couldn't take another moment of Lucifer's incessant babbling about how he would find a way out, and how me and him should have some fun to pass the time. At that point I was almost beginning to regret my decision to save Sam, but then I remembered why I had done it and that little bit of guilt went out the window.

When the boys saw me again I got the worst tongue lashing I had ever recieved. The disappointed looks, the anger, it was almost enough to make me wish I was back in the cage. But soon enough they were telling me how even though they were pissed they were proud of me. Proud that I had not only saved the planet, but saved Sam from being tortured for who knows how long.

That was ten years ago. Now Sam, Dean, and I lived in a bunker. It was nice to have our own home. We didn't go out on hunts anymore, but we did give advice to young hunters and helped others with research. Sam and I were still going strong and we had a little girl named Rose Marie. She was the most precious little thing in the world. Smart like her mother and father, brave and protective like her Uncle Dean, took no crap like her grandpa Bobby, and just as innocent as her Uncle Cas. She was perfect in every way.

I was watching her as she tried to teach Cas about unicorns and fairies, fictional ones not the ones we fought. Arms wrapped around my waist and a head came to rest atop ours. "She's so patient. I still can't get over it." Sam chuckled. I smiled and hummed in agreement. "It's a good thing to, because she'll need it when the babe comes." My voice was nonchalant as I mentioned a baby. Sam grabbed my hips and spun me around. "We're having another baby?" He asked, his eyes full of hope.

"Yeah, Sammy the family is expanding. Rose is gonna be a big sister," I replied. As soon as I did I could feel the happiness and pride coming from Sam, the excitement from Rose, the happiness from Cas, and Dean's surprise and happiness.

"Guess you really can find love amidst all this chaos," Dean said with a laugh.


End file.
